Cockless 8 Review

Running Time: 129 min.

Production Date: 8 / 31 / 2001

Director: Ed “Ewwwwwww” Powers

Cast: Cherry Rain, Jassie, Kelle Marie, and Swan

Initial Expectations: It’s all girl, which I normally like. It’s Ed Powers, which normally means I go on a diet because I don’t like throwing up. Needless to say, I’m not quite sure what to expect here, but I do have a little bit of hope since Ed shouldn’t be in front of the camera much.

Initial Reaction: I might have to share a room with Salman Rushdie for saying this, but I actually enjoyed this Ed Powers feature. The DVD, however, could have used a bit more work.

Who Should Watch It : Fans of all girl action

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody who wants anal sex, a little plot, or who thinks you have to have guys in on the sex also

Audio /Video Quality: The audio is surprisingly good. It’s not great, but it is fairly well balanced. The biggest problem is that any little background noise, such as Ed’s camera he uses to take snapshots, shows up in the audio just as good or better than the main action. The audio is also a little off balance, as Ed always sounds quite a bit louder than the girls. The video is also pretty good, especially for gonzo, and only has a few of the standard gonzo problems. There are a few shadow problems, as well as a few soft focus problems when Ed senses the picture has been too clear for too long. The worst problem is that every now and then Ed gets in the picture, which might have some messy results for anybody who’s eaten recently.

Music: None. That costs money.

False Advertising / Disc Problems: Okay, this one is kind of borderline as false advertising, but very annoying. The cover states “tons of chapter stops”. Although “tons” would actually be a number in the thousands, there are thirty here with is excellent for most DVDs, especially since there’s only two scenes here. My problem with it being annoying is that there isn’t anything like a chapter menu to let you put them to convenient use. Although I might not expect a chapter menu with thirty choices, it would be nice to at least be able to jump to one of four or five of the chapter stops in each scene.

Menus: The main menu is fairly plain and unimpressive. The chapter menus is kind of built in by letting you select which of the two couples you want to watch by including a link for “next girl” and “previous girl”. This seems kind of shoddy, or half brained since each scene has two girls in it. At least have the creativity to change it from “girl” to “couple” or “scene” here. Oh wait, this is Ed Powers. Change is bad. Annoying is good.

The Feature: Ed “Ewwwww” Powers’ Cockless 8 puts Ed behind the camera (thankfully) as girls work each other over. He gives a short interview with the girls before each of the scenes, and adds an occasional annoying comment throughout the action.

Ed starts out getting reacquainted with Jassie, who’s currently a contract girl for Sin City. Since Cherry Rain, who Jassie will be doing the scene with, isn’t back from running an errand yet, Jassie does a solo anal scene to help occupy here time, and no doubt so she can put off seeing Ed naked and whacking off for as long as possible. Jassie spreads her legs to show off her plump pinkness before she takes Ed’s direction to get in more of the spoon position to try and work a vibe into her ass. She plays with her pussy a little before taking the average sized blunt nosed vibrator, rather than the typical smaller plug or vibrator that most people use for their first experiments with ass-play. Needless to say, the vibe and Jassie’s ass don’t go together that well, and she doesn’t get it in before Cherry Rain shows up. Much of the problem here seems to be that Ed doesn’t really seem to know much about beginning anal play. Rather than having Jassie start out with something small, such as her finger, he gives her a choice of several average to larger sized toys. I’m sure many people would like to see Ed take the vibe in his ass, preferably at high velocity, but for somebody to try and take it slow and easy, it just doesn’t work.

Cherry Rain finally shows up and joins Jassie on the bed. It’s amazing how much these two girls look alike, and I could immediately see why so many people thought they might be sisters. They talk a bit before they get into some passionate kissing and start playing with each other’s pussy. As much as it surprises me, it’s a very likeable scene almost from the start. The girls have excellent chemistry and the scene feels very realistic. They move things along nicely, with Cherry starting to eat Jassie’s pussy soon into the scene before it slowly turns into a near 69 and then with Jassie sacrificing her tongue to the volcanic needs to Cherry’s loins. After the girls take the time to warm each other up naturally, Ed hands them a double dong, and unfortunately sings, which is a couple steps below Japanese karoke. The girls warm the dong up orally before working it between their sweet snatches, and even then the focus seems to stay more natural, with the girls frequently kissing and working on each others nipples rather than focusing on the double dong. The girls also take turns with the strap on, and once again get into things nicely. This is one of the all around best all girl scenes I’ve watched in a long time. The girls are all real, and the action never seems forced. The only bad thing about this scene is Ed feeling the need to chime in every now and then. Every time it brought the scene down, but the girls were still strong enough that much of it is a great example of how a girl - girl scene should be done.

Swan, a cute brunette, and Kelle Marie, a bleached blonde from Wales, pair up for the other scene. Ed tries to nicely lead into the scene, but asks Kelle things like if Wales is part of England before responding “I’m just stupid” when Kelle asks if he’s being sarcastic. Well, just like Ed was right to stay behind the camera in this movie, he’s right there also. Kelle poses for Ed and his camera as she strips down, and lets her fingers do the walking to warm herself up before Swan returns to the bed and follows suit, playing with herself as Swan watches and rubs and pinches her own nipples. Rather than rushing into things, the girls take the time to masturbate and then move things along slowly with some nice kissing. They each take a turn to slowly kiss their way down to their partner’s pussy. Unlike in the other scene, Kelle breaks out a vibe fairly early in the scene and starts working Swan’s pussy with it while talking nastily to her. Kelle remains nicely dominant as Swan gets her turn to give, and has Swan suck her toes and spank her ass before sliding a dildo into her pussy. The girls take turns with the strap on next, and Swan kicks things up a notch by giving Kelle some of her trash talk right back, since an all girl scene just isn’t an all girl scene without a trash talking bitch. They move on to the double dildo in a couple positions before finishing things up kissing and trash talking to each other. It’s a nicely different scene from Cherry and Jassie’s, and has a nice intensity to it. Once again, its’ very clear early on in the scene that the girls are very into each other, and they play and build nicely on each other as the scene progresses. Swan is definitely more subdued than Kelle, and frequently seems to try to play catch-up, but she still does a very respectable job. Kelle really stands out here, and has a great nastiness in her eye that helped make this another winning scene for me.

Surprisingly, Cockless 8 doesn’t just describe Ed Powers. Instead it’s a great all girl feature that Ed never gets fully in front of the camera for, which might be part of why I enjoyed it so much. It’s one of the two things he really did right here. The second thing is he picked a great match-up of girls. Both couples seem like perfect matches, just like peanut butter and banana sandwiches and oversized white jumpsuits. The action also gives a little something for everybody, nicely mixing both natural, toy-less sex with toys such as strap-ons and double dildos, and softer sex, such as Cherry and Jassie, with more intense and trash talking sex with Swan and Kelle. Going into this I expected to have a better chance of finding a porno involving Saddam Hussein, Khaddaffi, and Osama Bin Laden raiding the nearest sheep and goat pen before actually recommending an Ed Powers movie. Surprisingly, as long as Ed stays behind the camera and keeps his yap shut, he can actually make a good movie.

Extras: A little while ago Adam & Eve started using thumbnails in their photo gallery to let you preview the photo gallery photos and then selecting the ones you really like to blow up to near full screen size. I’m not sure, but they might have got the idea from New Machine. Rather than do a quality job like Adam & Eve and build it into the DVD, the photo gallery on the DVD is the same exact photos that populate the cover on the DVD. I’m sure this is thoughtful also, since it saves the consumer the expense of a magnifying glass to see the photos bigger. It also saves New Machine and Ed Powers the cost of actually designing a cover for the DVD, since they just plaster the photos over it.

Planet Powers lets you know about all things Ed. In the biography you learn that “Since 1989, Ed Powers has produced an incredible array of adult entertainment that has had a profound impact on out society. He is known throughout the world for his ability to explore the world of sex with humor and insight.” I’m sorry folks, but even this is too easy for me. Unlike many of the people who perform with Ed, I have to have some standards here, and am going to let this one go. Clips are included for Cockless 1, The Real Naturals 3, Global Warming Debutantes 11, Dirty Debutantes 47, Dirty Debutants157, and Dirty Debutantes 185. Finally, there’s a commercial for Ed Powers on the radio. I’m not sure who came up with the idea for putting Ed Powers on the radio, but it’s a great idea to put Ed in a place where he can’t be seen.

Themes: Lesbian, masturbation, toys, toe-ing, and spanking

Raincoat Factor: Very high bordering on extreme

Overall: Currently, Cockless 8 can be found online for between about $18 and $25 with a few stores offering it for under $20. I never expected to say this, but if you’re a big fan of all girl sex, you’ll probably be happy at that price. The sex is great, and Ed stays out of most of the movie which helps out any move. The transfer is better than normal for Ed, but the extras are fairly pathetic.

Note to New Machine: A little more care towards your DVDs could go a long way. Yes, Ed Powers for some reason has a large following and has a low budget style. This doesn’t mean that you should make your DVDs just as low as his are. Sadly, and I do think this is sad because New Machine has a large catalogue that does include many good movies, very little effort seems to be put into this DVD, yet it’s priced right up there with movies from companies such as Digital Sin and VCA, which clearly put quite a bit of effort into their DVDs. I’m sure that there’s quite a bit of extra footage from Ed’s features, and some of the girls seem to be frequent performers of Ed, which could make for nice bonus scenes. Please either put a bit more effort into your DVDs so that they can match up against similarly priced products, or drop the price on your DVDs to fit the lower overall quality.

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

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