Cathy's Diaries Review

Running Time: 102 min.

Production Date: 6 / 29 / 2002

Director: Phil Barry

Cast: Cathy Barry, Malissa Walker, Laura Jones, Carla St. James, Pete Le Meat, and Frazer Fox

Initial Expectations: So far I’ve been disappointed with almost everything I’ve seen from Union Jaxxx. This doesn’t give me high expectations here.

Initial Reaction: Extreme boredom.

Who Should Watch It : Anybody wanting to watch somebody new and insomniacs

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody who’s fast forward button is broken

Audio /Video Quality: The audio is fairly clear and well balanced, although there are a few background noises such as the stars being given direction and the cameraman tripping over what sounds like pop cans. The video is about the same quality. It has some grain but is nicely lit. Unfortunately, there’s more than a few soft focus problems, a ton of jerky pans and zooms, and some obvious shadows from the cameraman that hold it back. It ends up looking like a beginner’s attempt at porn.

Music: The music is similar to the stereotypical porno music, only a little more repetitive and annoying. Some of the styles don’t even come close to fitting the scenes, such as in the final scene where the music sounds like something you’d hear walking around the Magic Kingdom at Disney World. It’s balanced decently with the rest of the audio, but is almost a touch too loud.

Menus: The menus leave more than a little to be desired. The main menu is unanimated, plain, and looks like it might have been done in five minutes with something like Photoshop. The chapter menu lets you choose a scene based on a still of each scene and a title for it. The menus give anything but a good first impression.

The Feature: Cathy’s Diaries is one of those titles that tell you about all you need to know about the movie. Cathy Barry thinks it’s time to write a few sexual memoirs, and each one becomes a scene.

Cathy Barry starts out playing with herself while waiting for the plumber to arrive. She plays with herself fairly lightly without any toys, but doesn’t get far before the plumber, Pete LeMeat, arrives. She shows him to the bathroom, and soon after starts stroking him. She fucks him as he sits on the shitter and then takes him into the bedroom so they can keep going in comfort. They fuck missionary style before Cathy has Pete fuck her from behind as she fills up the rest of her hole with four fingers. She looks so bored and annoyed throughout most of the scene that I’m guessing this is just her attempt to keep herself interested or awake. Cathy works in a couple more positions, a bit of oral (which I suspect was to get Pete hard again), and even attempts a bit of anal which looks all the more challenging since he appears to be what politically correct people might call slightly “wood-impaired”. Finally, Pete pops all over her pussy and ass. It’s a letdown of a scene. There isn’t much chemistry, which might have been part of the reason Pete couldn’t get good wood, and it drags on forever. The camera work is also fairly jerky, which doesn’t help things either.

Frazer joins Pete LeMeat for the second scene. They’re rolling up hay when Cathy and Malissa Walker drive up in a motorhome, obviously lose. The girls quickly show the guys that they want more than directions, as they start working on the guys and each other. They take their time working back and forth fucking and sucking each other, with Frazer doing most of the fucking and Pete getting most of the sucking since it appears that once again, he’s got more of a vine than a branch. The guys each take a turn fucking Cathy’s ass, as well as teaming up to DP her, while blonde Malissa appears to be demoted to cocksucker. Finally, the girls titty-fuck the guys until they’re close to popping, and then let the guys finish it by hand. I’m not sure if it’s possible to watch this scene without using the fast forward button. It’s another lackluster scene that’s severely hurt by the pacing, which is only made worse because it lasts over a half hour. I have nothing against long scenes, but you have to have a talented director and editor to do so. Jules Jordan and John Stagliano are masters at this, but Phil Barry isn’t even close. Cathy seems to be into it a little better here, which helps, but the blonde shows all the potential for the scene and she’s barely used in it.

Cathy and Laura Jones start out having a drink in the backyard during the final scene. They start off playing naturally before Laura grabs a nearby cucumber to use on Cathy. Cathy and Laura go back and forth eating and working on each other with fingers and a cucumber until they’re discovered by new neighbor Carla St. James who takes over for Laura fucking Cathy with the cucumber. The girls keep moving around so they can make Carla feel welcome, and bring out a few toys. Carla gets the first treat with toys, followed by Cathy. As in the previous scene, the other lead female is kept playing second fiddle and basically only gives, including fucking Cathy with a strap-on near the end of the scene. They finally finish things kissing, with the scene feeling like it actually came to an ending rather than just running out of time. Once again, the pacing royally screws this scene. This is really too bad since there’s a lot of potential here. The three girls look to be really into each other, and are obviously having fun. Even Cathy looks like she’s having a great time, which is something I don’t think I’ve ever seen outside of this scene. Sadly, Laura shows the most potential here, so she seems to be kept in a supporting role throughout the scene. This seems to be standard for Cathy Barry, and makes her look as though she’s easily threatened. With what I’ve seen of most of her performances, there’s a reason for that.

Cathy’s Diaries seem to be written out like the Encyclopedia Britannica rather than the matchbook cover they belong on. Every one of the scenes is drawn out to the point that they’re extremely boring rather than interesting. The camera work is also extremely jerky in its pans and zooms, which makes it seem very amateurish. The camera angles, however, aren’t half bad, which is a big change from almost every other one of Phil Barry’s movies I’ve watched. Things are also brought down by having Pete LeMeat as the main guy in the movie, since he loses wood so often I think he might be thinking of his grandparents having sex all the time. The only thing about the movie that struck me as really good were the girls other than Cathy Barry in the movie. Cathy does okay, but often seems a bit surly. The other girls, however, look like they’re having a great time and were the only things to bring me any enjoyment in the movie. If you find Cathy’s Diary you’re best off leaving it locked rather than opening it to find out what’s inside.

Extras: None.

Themes: Straight, masturbation, anal, group, lesbian, spanking, rimming (male > female), DP, tit-fucking, toys, and fun with food

Raincoat Factor: High

Condom Usage: None

Overall: Currently, most Union Jaxxx DVDs can be found online for between $15 and $20. This is way to high for what you get here. The transfer isn’t quite average, there aren’t any extras, and the scenes were so drawn out that they almost put me to sleep.

Note to Union Jaxxx: Please enroll in film school as soon as possible. Your editing here pretty much ruined this movie. A few extras would also help the overall DVD as well as more consistent technical aspects.

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

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