Castings 36: Nikki Blond Review

Reviewed by Tongue in Groove  on  3/2/2005

Can someone please explain to me why most Euro porn has such a difficult time identifying the performers? Do the studios over there not understand that if we see a girl (or guy) who interests us, that it is in their best interest that we know their exact name and other flicks they’ve starred in? It’s called “repeat business.”

And why do the girls insist on changing their screen names so often? Go to any website that lists the stars of Euro porn (www.eurobabeindex.com comes to mind) and check out how many different names the girls have used in their career. It’s a joke! Yet the trend continues and this reviewer, for one, just shakes his head and vows never to give a great review to any Euro flick that fails to properly identify its cast. They automatically lose one rating star for failing to do this.

That scenario didn’t need to be employed for “Private Casting X #36,” which already stunk and didn’t need any rating stars deducted. One from nothing is still nothing. This is absolutely terrible porn.

Each scene starts with an interview by director Pierre Woodman. Most of the girls don’t speak English (and Pierre is pretty weak himself), so an interpreter is needed. The questions are as boring as the answers. Naturally, the girl gives a different name than the one on the screen, which also can differ from the one on the opening and closing credits. Aggravating! Then the girl strips and maybe plays with herself for a brief time. Then we see a clip of the girl from a Private feature. That’s it, end of scene! Yawn!

For the record, the girls in this volume include cover girl cutie Niki Blond (taking on three guys in “Riviera #3”); Oriental brunette Asian Shan (two guys in “Superfuckers #12”); blonde Kristina (three guys in a magazine photo shoot – not a film clip); brunette Helena (with James Brossman in “Exotic Illusions”); brunette Jenny Fields (first in a magazine photo shoot with two guys, then in another shoot with three guys); Noemi and Jeanette (with James Brossman in “Superfuckers #5”); blond semi-cutie Angel (in a live scene with Pierre that’s shot with a single camera on a tripod some 15 feet from the action); and Brigitta (a very short strip tease).

It’s hard to believe anyone (in Europe or anywhere else) could actually get excited about this mish-mash. There’s plenty more talking than actual sex action. Your FF button finger could become paralyzed. Who wants to see some girl posing for still photos with one cock in her mouth and another up her ass? There’s no stroking, no action, no heat! Double yawn!

Absolutely terrible!