Carolina Jones and the Broken Covenant Review

Reviewed by Comet Man  on  7/15/2008

This is a couples-friendly spoof of Indiana Jones (the one w/ the Ark) it's couples friendly because there is minimal anal (last scene only w/ Bree Olson) in the movie and there are no condoms used.

Scene 1
The movie starts off in a monastery where Carolina (Ava Rose, a brunette w/ a lip pierching, bellybutton piercing and neck/back/stomach tatts...yep, way too many tatts that they were trying to shoot around) is dressed as a monk to sneak in. She comes on a blond (Nikki Blond? She's got fake breasts and a bellybutton piercing) having sex w/ a monk while a blond girl in a miniskirt (Bree Olson) is tied to a bed with her breasts exposed and forced to watch them. Nikki gives the oral sex before he lays her out in missionary (she's still wearing fishnet stockings, thigh high boots, and big hoop earrings). She then rides him in RCG while he sits on an ancient couch. You see a flash of doggy style (cut from the film?) and she yanks him off on her face while the other girl watches in horror. Ava comes over and puts a power drill into the guy's head and then knifes Nikki (yeah, pretty gory for a porn movie). She releases the miniskirt girl who has this southern accent and reminds me of Jessica Simpson (kinda ditzy) but she's named Dixie. Dixie kills a monk by hurling a dildo through his mouth and Ava grabs an artifact off the shelf.

Scene 2
They go back to the hotel and Dixie becomes her sidekick because she can provide transportation (she's a slutty hitchhiker). The guys grope them as the scene switches to Ava's competitor who is in a rich mansion and is choosing a girl to have sex with (they line up naked and he gropes their breasts). He chooses a hot brunette (Roxy Panther?) with a lip tattoo and natural looking breasts. They get into bed and she gives him oral sex then rides him RCG, then CG, then doggy w/ one leg up on the bed,

Scene 3
Ava arrives at the mansion and Dixie leads the two guards off so Ava can sneak in to take an artifact back from her competitor. Dixie goes into a barracks area w/ the two guys and they get her clothes off (she has nice natural breasts that bouce around quite a bit) and she tells one of them to be very rough with her because she's been a bad girl; the other guy leaves to guard the door. She pulls off a guy's pants and gives him oral sex, then rides him hard in CG with lots of ("fuck the shit of out me" chatter). They switch to spoon, then missionary with one leg in the air, then jerks off into her open mouth and she swallows it.

Scene 4
The brunette from Scene 2 has tied up the guy to the bed and blindfolded him so she can give him oral sex until he cums. Ava sneaks in and tells her to go away and tortures her competitor w/ boiling water until he gives up the location of the Ark. It turns out the competitor and Ava were an item and he dumped her...he tells h er off and she pours honey on his private parts, then breaks open the ant farm in the room.

Scene 5
Ava tells Dixie that she's only slept w/ one guy (her competitor) and Dixie tells her she has to do it w/ someone else (yep, the dialogue is silly :-)
They check into another motel with a good looking proprietor (David Perry?) who offers to help Ava w/ anything she needs. Ava can't sleep and ends up calling him.
After giving him oral sex and trying to deep throat him, they too spoon, RCG, missionary w/ one leg on his shoulder, then she jerks him off on her breasts. Ava is slightly chubby unfortunately, though she does have a cute face.

Scene 6
They go to Israel in search of the Ark. Dixie's fiance finds them and fights (Dixie wanted to have lesbian sex) and make enough noise that they get caught by the guards. The german guy in charge brings the Ark over so they can do that scene at the end of the Indiana Jones movie. He opens the Ark but blindfolds all the guards first. Ava's dad shows up to rescue them before the ark is opened and shoots all the blindfolded guards, then kicks open the Ark so the german guy is consumed and then blows it up w/ dynamite.
After saving the world, Ava decides to help save Dixie's marriage by having sex with Dixie and her fiance. Ava sucks on the guy's dick while he fingers Dixie, then the girls swap. Ava gets to ride RCG first (she gets slammed pretty hard), then Dixie gets anal missionary and seems to have a real orgasm (her legs shake as she's screaming), then spoon anal and makes dixie cum again (no shaking this time so she might be just saying it) while she fingers herself. He then jerks off in both their mouths (Ava spits out while Dixie swallows as they kiss each other).

Extras:

Bonus Disc:
Recorded in Dolby Digital (at least that's what the startup says). Behind the scenes music video, bloopers, visual effects behind the scenes, glamour photo shoot, photo gallery, bonus scenes (from The Contractor 2, Sunshine Highway, My Girlfriend is a Vampire, Lady Scarface, It's All About Ava, Hellkats, Eden), trailers (Night in Jail, Guilty, Hello Nurse, Latin Secuction, Sunshine Highway, The Contractor 2, Naughty Co-Ed Caper, Bound, Hair to Stay, Stripped:Ava Rose, The Temp, 10 Dirty Masturbators, Monster Mug Shots, Long Dong Black Kong 2, Love Hurts, Miso Horny 2, My First MILF, Take It All, The Mother-Load, From the Hood To the Hills, Not Another Porn Movie), web info, spam for phone sex numbers.

Other Comments:
Can't skip past or fastforward the FBI anti-piracy warning even in PowerDVD...grrr. Can't jump forward (can fast forward) through trailers or select which ones to view...grrr.
I haven't seen an Adam&Eve movie in a while and this one was surprisingly funny. It's a spoof, so you can't take the dialogue too seriously which gives them more leeway.
This is the first movie done in Dolby Digital I've seen and it does sound better than others. Video quality is also better than expected, especially in scene 1 where it looks like it was pretty dim (supposed to look like it's lit by candlelight).