Camel Hoe's Review

Reviewed by Kelly  on  10/3/2004

Title: Camel Hoe's
Company: Third Degree Films
Length: 2 hours and 1 minute (121 minutes)
Production Date(s): May 5-July 9, 2004
Release Date: September 27, 2004
Condoms: None

Director: Chris Streams

The Abridged Version: Up there under “title”, I initially typed out Camel Toe Perversions. It took me a minute to remember that this is Camel Hoes. See, Smash Pictures released that other one a wile ago and they have a second volume of the series coming out soon. Oddly enough, Nikki Lorren will be in that second volume and she is also in this tape. It all begs the question: what has happened to originality in porn? This is a concern I had in mind prior to viewing this title. After viewing the title, it is still a concern but less so now that I have been witness to the fact that there are still some original minds out there and Chris Streams is one of them. Sure, this is a concept and title similar to something somebody has all ready done. Sure, 4 of these 5 girls have been around and we’ve probably all seen them do more anal scenes than we can remember. Sure, this DVD from a new company looks damn similar to anything Red Light, Platinum X, Zero Tolerance, or any of the other gonzo companies would put out. However, he takes what we have all seen before and makes it look fresh, producing a title that should be homogenized but turning it into a refreshing experience. He does this through sometimes creative but always reliable camera angles and attention to the little things such as what the girl will be wearing or what shade of blush or lipstick she has on or what color the walls will be in the room she is getting fucked in. He also provides Jules Jordan-caliber tease sequences, which caught me off guard. Those of you with a camel toe fetish will love these sequences but might be disappointed by the rest. This is a feature about camel toes for around 2 or 3 minutes each scene. Once the sex starts, it is just gonzo sex with no real theme. However, to see both things done exceptionally well is very, I hate to use this word again but it bests fits what I want to say, refreshing to see.

Scene 1: Laura Lion (brunette, pouty lips, natural C/D cup bust, European, sharply resembles American porn star Haley Paige) w/Choky Ice (23 minutes)

I have seen this girl before but I don’t recognize her. She is far slimmer now and plays to the camera with a previously absent sense of confidence. As she thrusts her pussy outward as if onto some imaginary cock, the camera zooms in the camel toe outlined underneath her tight white panties. It is when the camera pulls out of close-up and shows this beauty from head to toe that things really get interesting. Her pink go-go boots, belt, hat, and eyeliner act in unison with her white panties and mesh top that doesn’t quite cover all of her chest to paint a picture of beauty. The fact that her hair is in pigtails is mere icing on the cake. She is a knockout and she’s European. This means anal is mandatory and she preps herself nicely with a pink buttplug. Streams captures some great shots of her pulling the plug out of her ass and producing a momentary gape. With buttplug lodged completely in her ass, she kneels and welcomes Choky’s cock into her mouth. As she sits on his cock in cowgirl, he reaches around to get a grip of the butt plug. This sets up the rest of the scene, which will see her pussy and ass pretty much constantly filled either with Choky’s cock or the sex toy. He sometimes alternates between fucking her ass and fucking her pussy and sometimes he sticks with one hole for a while and fills the other with the butt plug. She seems to like it. After three positions, he has had all he can take and shoots a decent load on her outstretched tongue. Laura’s moaning became somewhat repetitive over the course of the scene, sounding a tad too “been there done that”, but overall it’s not a bad opener to a DVD.

Scene 2: Naudia Nyce (brunette with slight red highlights, cute face, slim build, magnificent ass, resembles Renee Pornero) w/Mark Ashley (23 minutes)

Nadia is standing outside, wearing a pink with black trim bra and thong panty combo that is peaking out from beneath her white mesh top and skirt. Again, the color coordination between the make-up and clothes is well done and goes a surprisingly long way toward increasing the appeal of the girl. Even her pink choker enhances her appeal. Because she is wearing thong panties, her camel toe is not covered at all. However, Chris seems more interested in capturing shots of her shapely ass. I don’t blame him. They exchange words indicating that they know eachother biblically before he follows her inside and watches as she fills her ass with a butt plug. Didn’t I just see this set-up? Mark Ashley absolutely takes things to a new level though after a rather ordinary stint of throat gagging and doggy fucking. With Nadia sitting on a chair so that he might pound her missionary style, he uses his cock, mouth, and hands to take her places she’s never been before. He amazingly gets her to gush three times and she looks absolutely shocked after the first time, whispering, “I’ve never done that before,” in disbelief. When it happens a third time, she cums so hard that the butt plug is expelled from her ass. Wow. I’d say she’s properly prepared for anal now. Mark lifts her legs up behind her ears and uses her own panties to kind of tie her in that position. He then eases into her ass. Before you know it, he is pounding her hard and alternating between the pink and the stink. Deciding to stick with just one hole, he violates her tight ass in reverse cowgirl and doggy. And the stuff that flies out of this girl’s mouth. I can’t see how any guy wouldn’t be dying to have sex with Nadia after seeing this scene. In the end, Mark jerks out a load that lands more on her chest than mouth.

Scene 3: Nikki Loren (sexy brunette, voluptuous body type, cute B/C cup rack, slight Jennifer Tilly/Marilyn Monroe voice, new to boy/girl) w/Mark Ashley (24 minutes)

With shapely legs, an ample ass, ripe breasts, a supermodel caliber face, full lips, and an overall attitude that just oozes easeless sensuality, she has been one of the most frustrating porn stars of the past two years. Time and time again she ducked contact with cock and lapped only labia due to an exclusive off-screen romance. However, this past summer saw the end of said relationship and thus the beginning of her boy/girl career. Some complain that this has come at a time when her body is not as tightly toned as it once was. I can see that but it frankly does not bother me because she is just so damn sexy. In a light blue pair of panties and white top that only comes down past the nipples of her breasts (she of course is also wearing a light blue choker), she begins the scene with her back to the camera. As she shakes her ass slowly, Chris zooms in to observe the rather well pronounced camel toe at the center of her legs. She turns around and we see that her nipples are all ready hard, budding out like two big erasers. After this revelation, she turns back around, puts her leg together, and bends straight over to grab her ankles. Oh…my…God! This is a beautiful sight to behold and luckily she holds the position for a little longer. With her panties now gone, she moves to the floor at the base of the staircase she had been previously standing upon. Now on her knees, she gets a mouth full of Mark Ashley cock. He throat fucks her a bit and she counters with a rather sensual dick-licking full of well timed eye contact. Lying on a nearby couch, she lifts her left leg high in the hair so that the camera can get under Mark to film the first vaginal penetration. Because of this positioning, her ass is sticking out which makes the vaginal missionary sex they engage in that much more enticing. We cut and return to a more standard version of missionary and the thickness around her waist becomes apparent, as does the fact that her breasts are actually somewhat oddly shaped. I don’t care about any of it though. She’s too sexy for me to care but if others aren’t as enamored with her as I then they will care. As the scene progresses and they go from doggy to a standing position on the staircase to cowgirl and reverse cowgirl, Mark continually ups the intensity and she moans her way toward multiple orgasms. He jerks out a big load onto her chin and chest. The camera fades out with cum still dangling from her chin..

Scene 4: Katja Kassin (sexy redhead, European, amazing ass, resembles new WWE Diva Christy Hemme) w/Zenza Raggi and Mark Davis (25 minutes)

Katja is a girl I have seen many times before but for some reason I am just now appreciating how hot she is. The beginning of this scene finds her wearing a pink outfit equipped with a choker. She is positioned in front of a window and a rather bizarre thing happens. Pure white light is shining behind her but instead of compromising the integrity of the shot it has a manipulative effect in which it directs all attention onto Katja. It is very interesting. As we are treated to the longest camel toe tease sequence yet, she crawls into a room with white carpet, white walls, and the same almost angelic light shining through the windows. There is nothing to look at except for the sexy thing we are meant to watch. She deep throats a butt plug and then lowers her ass onto it, all filmed brilliantly from beneath the glass table the sex toy is placed upon. This is the same trick the unnamed director of Tongue & Cheek 2 used during the Taylor St. Claire/Mark Davis scene. It’s incredibly erotic. We cut and she is now kneeling in front of a couch the same shade of red as her hair. She sucks her two suitors before they take turns fucking her doggy. Don’t look away because Zenza just sticks it in her ass somewhere during this and the anal begins. Unfortunately, her mouth is constantly full so she can’t really moan and thus the proceedings lack heat. They encounter the same problem with anal reverse cowgirl. She is free to voice her approval when they DP her in reverse cowgirl but she ends up being rather restrained. She kind of takes on the Laura Lion “been there done that” moan. There is more anal, including a well shot sideways missionary full of rather telling gape shots (she needs to cut back on anal), but eventually the guys drop their loads on and into her mouth.

Scene 5: Sharka Blue (Euro blonde, sleek physique, all naturale) w/Mick Blue (24 minutes)

Sharka is wearing a black mesh top that covers both of her arms, black fishnet stocking, a black dog collar, and white panties. She looks like a porn star. She’s also the first girl in this DVD that looks to be wearing just a tad too much make-up to me. With the camera positioned directly beneath her crotch, she slowly pulls her panties tighter up against her pussy so that we can get a good view of the camel toe. Looking above this, it is pretty sexy to see her looking down into the camera as her hard nipples poke out from beneath her top. They apparently didn’t have a black butt plug on set to go with her outfit so she just uses her fingers, sticking four of them up her ass. During the blowjob, her seemingly short hair is revealed to actually be rather long, reaching the middle of her back. Until now, she had it up in a sexy bun but that was ruined by Mick’s aggressive throat fucking. As she climbs on top of Mick for cowgirl, I notice one thing: her ass does not look very inviting. It definitely looks like the asshole of European porn star who has been booked for nothing but anal scenes. In other words, I wouldn’t want to be the guy fucking that ass because from the looks of it I don’t know how many men have gone there before me but it looks like a lot. She is very vocal through cowgirl, a standing position including a brief standing 69, missionary, and reverse cowgirl. Mick is damn aggressive with her, ripping off the majority of her top and pounding her senseless. From this point on, they actually engage in some rather creative positions that I simply lack the energy to describe. Deciding against caution and ignoring a suspicious red spot near her asshole, Mick goes up her well-traveled butt in reverse cowgirl, a standing position, and doggy. She sucks out what is probably the weakest load of the whole DVD out of Mick’s cock.

The DVD: RedLightDistrict seems to have been the company that started this trend, but just like everyone else Third Degree delivers a DVD with simple, easy to navigate menus and impeccable visual and audio performance.
Extras-
Behind the Scenes (16 minutes)-We get a hint of some behind the scenes action in the main feature’s closing credits, but here it is expounded. It is mostly just photoshoot action with a dash of the girls getting ready and a drop of on-set sex. The most entertaining moment for me came when not 1, not 2, but 3 guys tried their best to get a go-go boot on Sharka despite the fact that it is obviously too small. This explains why she only wears white F-me pumps in her scene. There is also some fun stuff with Nadia, especially a post-scene interview with her in the shower.
Cum Shot Loop (3m33s)-self-explanatory
Photo Gallery-self-explanatory
Trailers-Third Degree is still a young company so there are not many trailers to show but they do include all of their titles in this loop. These titles are: Don’t Tell My Daddy, Share the Load, Ass Cream, Crack Addict, and the soon to be released Upperclass (9 minutes)

Final Thought: I learned something today. You know, Chris Streams is a very talented director and Third Degree Films is an up and coming company. Camel Hoe’s is a really strong DVD that could have been a lot better if not for the, I’ll say it again, “been there done that” performances of Laura and Katja. Even though I was overly harsh with Sharka in my review, her performance is not lacking in the least bit. She was all sorts of into it. However, all three women look to have done one too many anal scenes. And as we move onto yet another new fetish in porn, the camel toe, we have yet to escape the rule of anal where any girl willing to try it will doom herself to anal and nothing but anal unless she lands a contract with a feature company. Even then, she’d probably end up being their token nasty girl. Nadia, on the other hand, still has her ass in tact and Nikki is smart enough to not even listen to anal offers until she has exhausted her boy/girl vag-only options. It’s the state of the industry. This leads me to my one major complain with not only this film but Third Degree Films as a whole. They appear to be playing both sides as all of their current and upcoming releases feature half-Euro/half-American casts. In part, I realize this is due to the moratorium but that doesn’t explain all of it since surely some of their upcoming releases were made after the HIV crisis. The two best scenes in this DVD come from the two American stars: Nikki and Nadia. For my own tastes, it it is unlikely I will ever see a great DVD from them if they continue to follow this pattern because there will invariably always be one Euro girl who is more going through the motions than enjoying herself. And those of you who love Eurogirls over American can probably say the same thing about the American girls. Maybe I’m narrow minded but I’d rather see all-American and all-Euro with an occassional intermixed cast from Third Degree.

Rent it or Buy It: BUY IT. I’m still reluctant to shell out $20 bucks, more or less, for any piece of pornography. However, if you have no such financial concern then go ahead and buy this. It’s a solid DVD.

About the Author: A current college student, Kelly's infatuation with pornography began with the likes of late night Skinimax and eventually graduated to hardcore. As such, sometimes storylines go a long way toward his enjoyment whereas other times the more to the point nature of hardcore gonzo is desired. In either avenue though, girl/girl bored him to tears. He used to operate a fan site dedicated to Taylor St. Claire, who is still to this day his favorite porn star. Right behind her at #2 and #3 in his top 3 girls of all time are Avy Scott and Devinn Lane. Other favorites include busty women like Zora Banks, Cherry Mirage, and Haley Paige and slimmer women like Alyssa Love, Stephanie Swift, August Night, and Jennifer Luv. He avoids Max Hardcore, Ed Powers, Vivid, and compilations as much as possible, and eagerly looks forward to releases from Evil Angel, Devils Film, Red Light District, and Platinum X. He generally favors anal scenes and DP scenes with big facials, but is too timid for gangbangs and any such other extremities. His favorite directors are Mike John, Joey Silvera, Tom Byron, and Jules Jordan. His favorite porn films of all time include The Fashionistas (2003), Whack Attack 9 (2001), Nice Rack 6 (2000), Service Animals 7 (2002), and The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women 1 (2000). When reading his "Rent it or Buy It" advice, take into consideration the fact that he almost never buys pornography. He is a habitual renter