Buttwoman Returns (Blu-Ray) Review

Reviewed by Anime Nut  on  12/20/2009

In September 2008, Alexis Texas became the latest to inherit the coveted title of Buttwoman, Elegant Angel's long-running tribute to the hottest big butt star of the moment. Since her predecessor, Brianna Love, only stuck around for one installment, there was a reasonable amount of concern for Alexis' tenure. Hopefully, her performance in Buttwoman Returns will silence any doubts that Alexis Texas won't be going away any time soon.

Just like last time, Alexis saves the anal sex for the final scene of the movie. That doesn't mean that the earlier scenes are ass-deprived in any way. Four of the five scenes are 2-girl affairs, with Alexis being joined by the likes of Ava Rose, Cherokee D'Ass, Jayden Jaymes, and Charley Chase. Director Sam No beautifully highlights each girl in the intro tease sequences. Like in many of Sam No/Mason's other films, we also get a few behind-the-scenes glimpses at Alexis and pals gearing up for the next scene. None of these bits runs too long, and they add much-needed character to the film.

What's that I say? Well, for all of its surface beauty (especially in high-def), Buttwoman Returns also suffers from a case of "been there, done that." If you've seen any number of Elegant Angel's other titles, you'll probably recognize many of the locations and music tracks, as well as the basic "tease, sex, repeat" story structure. While this is perfectly fine for the numbered series (like Big Wet Asses! and Curvy Girls), I expected this movie to stand on its own a little more. The last few Buttwoman films had elaborate opening sequences that set the tone for what was to come. Buttwoman Returns goes straight to the first tease sequence of the day.

That said, if you want to see Alexis Texas do her thing, this movie provides an excellent showcase for her skills. Despite the engaging presence of her co-stars, the focus never strays from Alexis for long, if at all. She can move and work her ass like nobody else in the business. Sure, more anal would've been great, especially since this is a sequel. But you do get a whole lot of butt for your dollar.

SEX SCENES

SCENE 1 - Alexis Texas, Ava Rose, & Michael Stefano
Approx. 33 min
Girl/Girl, Boy/Girl/Girl

Ah, the power of choice. Watching this scene, you can almost hear Michael Stefano's internal struggle: "Which ass do I want a piece of now?!" Both Alexis' and Ava's asses look incredibly inviting, as do the ladies they're attached to. I like how both girls' styles compliment and contrast with each other. While Alexis plays fast and wild, Ava's passion nearly brings her to tears with each orgasm.

Highlights include Alexis and Ava taking turns getting fucked in standing doggystyle vaginal against a stairway, Michael fucking Ava's ass cheeks from behind, and Alexis' high-speed cowgirl vaginal that looks like a blur on-screen. Alexis pays equal attention to both of her partners, best evidenced in this line she gives Ava (who is riding Michael's cock at the time): "Give me that fucking cum, I wanna taste it off his cock."

SCENE 2 - Alexis Texas, Cherokee D'Ass, & Mark Ashley
Approx. 37 min
Boy/Girl/Girl

After a bizarre-yet-enjoyable tease intro that imagines Alexis and Cherokee in an outdoor strip club with lots of champagne, the action moves indoors to join an eager Mark Ashley. As he buries his face in both of their behinds, Mark can't help but remark, "This is Ass Heaven." Sam No's camerawork delivers some fantastic visuals, such as the profile close-up of Cherokee grinding her ass on Mark in doggystyle vaginal on one side of the frame, while she eats Alexis' pussy on the other side.

Considering Mark's legendary stamina, it's a testament to Alexis' abilities that she nearly wears him out during a jackhammer cowgirl session. A good time was clearly had by all, and there is no shortage of bodily fluids on the couch and floor by the time it's all over.

SCENE 3 - Alexis Texas & James Deen
Approx. 35 min
Boy/Girl

The movie's least memorable scene, but not because there's anything wrong with it. It just moves along at a slower, more leisurely pace. No fancy camera tricks here - just nice wide shots mixed with close-ups of their faces and crotches. James brings the magic early, driving Alexis to orgasm with his tongue alone. In turn, Alexis tries to deepthroat his cock, but she comes up short by less than an inch.

What's most fascinating about James Deen's performance here is how genuinely amazed he is by his co-star. During cowgirl vaginal, Alexis bounces her ass at a freakishly rapid pace, leaving James with a look of awe and disbelief on his face. James eventually has to comment, "How'd your pussy get so fuckin' tight?!" No idea, brother. Just enjoy the ride.

SCENE 4 - Alexis Texas, Jayden Jaymes, & Johnny Sins
Approx. 45 min
Girl/Girl, Boy/Girl/Girl

While most of the public's attention may be on Alexis' encore anal performance in the next scene, it must be said that this three way between Alexis, Jayden Jaymes, and Johnny Sins is the real main event. From the sand-encrusted opening tease to the barely-out-in-time popshot, this scene has something for everybody. Very little time is wasted with one of the performers spectating from the sidelines. Nearly every position has all three talents fully engaged. Personal favorite: while Alexis is fucked by Johnny in missionary vaginal, Jayden straddles her belly and smothers her with those massive tits. After bringing Alexis to orgasm, Johnny moves up a few inches to pound Jayden from behind. Meanwhile, Alexis slides down to lick Jayden's clit and Johnny's cock simultaneously. The greatest mathematicians in the world couldn't devise an equation as perfectly balanced as this.

As for that popshot I mentioned? It truly is too spectacular and beautiful for me to spoil in this review. I will only say that it gave me a newfound appreciation for the razor-sharp freeze frames that Blu-ray provides.

SCENE 5 - Alexis Texas, Charley Chase, & Mr. Pete
Approx. 63 min
Girl/Girl, Boy/Girl/Girl

Before Mr. Pete even enters the scene, we are treated to the adventures of Alexis, Charley... and a jeweled buttplug. Whether or not this plug gets more anal action than Mr. Pete is up for debate. As the final ménage à trois begins, it is quickly established that Charley Chase is a screamer, steeped in both volume and profanities. During the few, scattered moments when she isn't hollering up a storm, Charley likes to suck Mr. Pete's balls into her mouth as if they're candy-coated.

It doesn't take long before Alexis opens her asshole to Mr. Pete's invading cock. From the moment they start with cowgirl anal, he doesn't even try to take it slow at first. Sam No's camera stays in close while Mr. Pete furiously pounds her ass in a number of positions. In case you're wondering what Alexis thinks about all this, let's hear it from Buttwoman herself: "You fuckin' own that fuckin' ass." It all leads up to an anal creampie finish per Alexis' special request, followed by a bit of cum farting into Charley's mouth that goes on a tad too long for my taste. It starts off sexy enough, but I found it slightly repulsive by the time it was over.

EXTRAS

The extras are much shorter than I expected. Running only 4 and a half minutes, the behind-the-scenes featurette is comprised solely of outtakes from three of the five scenes. Alexis reflects on her very first cum fart with Charley Chase. Jayden Jaymes recalls her confusion over a recent Twitter update from Alexis that read, "Your booty is mine!" Finally, Alexis and Cherokee D'Ass give themselves a "standing ovation", Buttwoman-style.

Also included are a photo gallery of movie screenshots (not sex stills) and the cumshot recap, both about 3-and-a-half-minutes long.

FINAL RECOMMENDATION

Buy it. If you're a fan of Alexis Texas, you don't even need to finish the rest of this review. But if you're one of those porn viewers who always wondered what they weren't seeing in Alexis that everybody else was raving about, you'll definitely have your eyes opened by the end of this movie. I know, because I was one of those weirdos... before Buttwoman Returns came along.

The HD picture quality on this Blu-ray is predictably spotless. Admittedly, I was never "wowed" by the visuals, but I chalk that up to the tired, overused locations and backgrounds. The cover art boasts one of my favorite photos of all time from the talented photographers at Elegant Angel, showcasing both Alexis' epic ass and stunning face in one clever shot.

Buttwoman Returns may highlight a number of Elegant Angel sets and gimmicks that are need in of an overhaul. But it also delivers an inspired display of lust and acrobatics from Alexis Texas, a performer who has come a long way to honestly earn the hype.

RUNNING TIME: 216 minutes