Busty Beauties 9 (Hustler) Review

Reviewed by Crucifixio Jones  on  4/19/2004

Busty Beauties #9
** ½
2003, 1 hours and 29 minutes
Hustler Home Video
Directed by Mark Kismet, Videography by Mike Quasar, Edited by Moe Green
Starring Rayveness, Mason Storm, Victoria Givens, Rhiannon Bray, Vanessa Blue

The Knowledge:

I’m often amazed at just how much I remember from my childhood. One of my earliest memories is of breasts. Not my mother’s however, since she was somewhat lacking in that department and I wasn’t breast-fed as an infant. It was actually one of my mother’s best friends, who had a gargantuan set of bra-stuffers, that first drew my attention and inspired a fascination that persists even now. This might have been considered normal at an age somewhere in my early teens, seeing as how they were so enormous they were bound to attract the attention of a man-child with those types of raging hormones. The problem was, I was barely old enough to speak. I vaguely recall being mesmerized by those huge fleshy mounds on her chest, my mother reaching down to pick me up and playfully chastising me about staring at her guest’s pillowy assets. That infatuation never went away and to this day I remain a self-professed breast man. Natural or enhanced, it doesn’t really matter as long as they look good. I know that some people have an aversion towards the mega-busted models of the adult world but I just wanted to let anyone reading this review know that I have no such problems and a movie like Busty Beauties is sure to get a fair “shake” from me. This is my first opportunity to get a look at Hustler’s line dedicated to women with head-crushing mammaries but it’s not the first time I’ve wanted to take a peek. In the past their lineups have included the likes of Sophia, Brianna Blaze, Holly Body, Vicky Vette, Daphne Rosen, Olivia O'Lovely, Janet Taylor, Ava Divine, Alicia Rhodes, Devon Michaels, Catalina, Lisa Sparks, Cherokee, Layla Jade, Felicia Fox, Rebecca Love, Brittney Skye, Olivia Del Rio, Anna Nova, Kianna Dior, Avy Scott, Mary Carey, Friday, Stormy, Tanya Danielle, Mercedes Ashley, Carolyn Monroe, Melanie Jagger, Minka, Shauna Banks, Brooke Hunter, Alexis Amore and Angelica Sin, so it’s clear they know what they’re doing in the casting department. What I’m unsure of is how well they capture these top heavy beauties in action. This is a weak group of stars compared to teams of the past but we’ll see how they fare.

The Action:

Rayveness

Each scene begins with a short tease sequence set to some inoffensive music. Rayveness is up first in a blue floral pattern bikini, which she quickly undoes and lets those naturals 34D hangers hang. Where in the Hell did Hustler dig her up from and why? She’s the first of two North Carolinians in this movie and apparently the sun doesn’t shine much down there because Rayveness is porcelain white. She may have been going strong since 1992, but all it takes is one stud like Brian Surewood to break this china doll into a million pieces that Kismet could never put back together again. An interview with director Kismet follows the tease and this really is a full-length interview. Mark probes (at least for porn banter) at Barbara Walters-type levels compared to the short talks we’re used to hearing. That’s sort of a drag and brings the scene to a dead halt after a tease. Maybe they should think about rearranging that bit. Interview first, if you must have it and not so long, then tease, then sex. Anyhow, if you don’t fast forward through the actual sit-down in-depth interview part, you’re a better man than I because I didn’t pop this in my DVD player to hear about how Rayveness got started (which would be fine as a special feature, don‘t get me wrong), I want to see her get fucked. This type of thing doesn‘t belong in the main feature, especially not interrupting the flow of the proceedings.

Brian Surewood snaps pictures of Rayveness in a small studio as she lies back on a white chair. Of course, that gets old really fast and since she’s baring her breasts, Brian figures he may as well take that as a hint. Rayveness certainly hasn’t forgotten how to suck dick. She gives the best and nastiest blowjob of the flick, gagging on Surewood’s meat and making her tits bounce as she does it. Oral sex out of the way, she climbs on top of Brian cowgirl, working her ass over his prick like the seasoned pro she is, riding just the tip at first, never coming all the way down to his balls. Damn that’s hot looking. Surewood fucks her full-force and balls-deep cowgirl briefly before Rayveness takes off her top and balances herself on his thighs reverse cowgirl. “Fuck my pussy,” she breathily moans while her juggs smack together , seemingly applauding her performance by themselves. The two move to mish, where Rayveness has her right leg high in the air and gives us a good view of her dark bush while Surewood pumps away. We then cut to Ray on her knees, jerking away at his prick with both hands as she sucks. She’s pumping his shaft like a shotgun and gets his ball buckshots all over her rack. Wow. The real sex started at 13:40 into the movie and was over at exactly 20 minutes. That’s less than seven minutes of actual sex and it felt even shorter. As soon as you get one good look at a position, the editor has already moved on to the next one. Then the next one. And the next one. Then it’s over. This must be a DVD for those speed-whackers who just want to get in a “jerk before work.” Rayveness was on point and Surewood worked her out as per usual with him, but damn, the interview was longer than the scene. Hustler needs to fix this ASAP. Rayvness, however, still has the energy she had the day she started and might even be nastier. She gives a measured, “mature“ and “experienced“ performance and was a good fuck, regardless of whether or not you believe the passage of time has been kind to her. ***


Mason Storm

Mason Storm’s tease is outdoors and Hustler must’ve gotten a deal on floral patterned Hawaii-style bikinis because Mason wears one here, too, only hers is red. There is simply no denying Mason’s exotic beauty. I’m a sucker for girls her complexion, with dark hair, dark eyes and yes, very large mammaries. When I saw Mason’s first hardcore performance, I thought for sure she would be a favorite of mine for years to come. Unfortunately, Storm has done nothing but disappoint me with her vanilla approach to hardcore work. She swears out she’s an aggressive person, but believe me when I say that’s an exaggeration. I’m not going to knock her for not doing anal and all the stuff that goes along with that. Because it is possible to still be a very engrossing and magnetic performers without doing double penetrations and swallowing after a 10-guy blowbang. A shame for Mason she’s not. Once you get past her looks, if that’s even your thing, there’s really not much more to offer. And that’s sad because she was someone I had such high hopes for. I even told her she was one of my favorite new girls and I looked forward to seeing her more in 2004. I regret to report I haven’t seen one smidgen of improvement since her turn at Milfhunter or in Fresh New Faces #2. If you asked me, I’d say she’s gotten more polished looking but her work might even be worse. She’s like a contract girl without a contract.

To give you some perspective as to how long these interviews last, Mason’s started at 22:30 of the DVD and ended at 29:30. Exactly seven minutes, just as long as Rayveness’ sex scene. That’s just inexcusable. Is this a fuck flick or a documentary? Mason’s decked out in a flannel shirt, some short Crocodile Hunter olive drab shorts and hiking boots for her scene in this quaint outdoors getaway. The guy Trevor opens his mouth so wide when he kisses her I think he’s an alien about to try to swallow her entire head. He does manage to lick, suck and play with Mason’s tits profusely as he gets her undressed. I know the breast lovers out there appreciate that because Mason, everything else aside, does have a magnificently perfect natural pair of those. And we start with the MTV-paced editing. Cut to Trevor fucking Mason’s mouth as she kneels in front of him. She stays pretty still and pushes her tits together while Trevor forces his prick against the inside of her cheeks. Less than thirty seconds later, Mason is getting banged missionary on the edge of the sofa they were on. She uses her right arm to cradle her tits at first and then finally puts her hands to her sides and lets them flop freely. Storm turns and lies on her side next, arcing her right leg back over Trevor’s hip, in a spoon-like position. She caresses her breasts more here and then we cut to Mason on top of Trevor reverse cowgirl, literally watching a clock off-camera it looks like. Trevor tries his best to save the scene by doing some standing reverse cowgirl. But no sooner than you start to dig the sight of someone holding Mason up by her thick caramel thighs, with her pussy spread wide the fuck open like that, hair in her face and titties flopping like mad, they cut to the money shot, which lands on Mason’s breasts, of course to end the scene. That last position was good, hot and horny shit but again with only just about seven minutes of screen time to enjoy Mason, the scene leaves you feeling cheated; like you saw the abbreviated version. Mason continues to be a dead fuck for the most part, relying on her looks to get her over the hump. ** ½


Victoria Givens

Another milky white North Carolinian and a personal favorite of mine, Victoria Givens is up next. Don’t ask me what it is exactly I like about Givens, I just do. She’s got that whole southern belle, Designing Women accent going for her, a sly and mischievous knowing smirk like Friday, a firm round ass on par with Gina Lynn’s and pumped up tits that remind me of Ryan Conner’s puffy-nippled pair. She’s got a dirty mouth when she’s being fucked and she squirts. That doesn’t sound so bad, does it? Blonde or brunette, I tend to be satisfied with Victoria Givens. Another long black and white interview with documentary maker Mark Kismet follows her bikini tease. Her partner today is Brett Rockman and it takes place in an office environment. You know the set-up, it’s quite familiar: Brett’s the boss, Givens is the horny secretary who comes on to him as he tries to work and Brett is , reluctantly (but easily) seduced. Cram all that into about five seconds though because Kismet and his editors obviously have somewhere to be; they’re in a rush. Brett’s outta his clothes, Victoria has flashed her tits and now she’s on her knees, jerking and sucking that curved schlong of Rockman’s. He fucks her tits and as I turn my head to type this, I turn back and Givens is already letting Brett pound her cowgirl. I guess they’re not getting paid by the hour. In reverse cowgirl, Victoria squirts a few times and lets the blue talk fly. This position is actually lingered on for a while with good camera work throughout; you get under the action, directly in front of it and a some wide-angled shots from a distance. WHO AUTHORIZED THAT? So far, it’s been thirty seconds for each position. That particular sequence must’ve been at least a minute and a half. Victoria takes an opportunity to set herself apart from the rest of her cast mates (and remind me why I dig her so much) by letting Rockman plug her pooper mish, while she holds her legs wide and gapes something awful. Pretty heated here but it doesn’t last long before Brett moves to anal doggie, humping Victoria just like the position’s name implies. He pulls out and fires some streams across her perfectly round bolt-ons and she sucks his cock clean of the rest, occasionally flicking his dickhead across her perpetually erect nipples. Hottest scene yet, just edging out Rayveness’ inspired outing. Victoria‘s a firecracker who looked like she had at least another half hour or more in her and strong enough to handle maybe two more guys. ** *


Rhiannon Bray

Rhiannon Bray is our first talent to not wear a bikini for her tease, but rather a hot black lacy lingerie number, that matches her dark hair in this scene. Bray has a body (and face, to be honest) very similar to Sophie Evans though her natural breasts are slightly larger, or at least it appears that way to me. Rhiannon drew the short straw today and got paired with Dick Nasty. I remember when I was growing up, we didn’t really know or care about male performers’ names and all my buddies and I used to call Nasty “Terry Bradshaw.” That may not be funny to those of you who aren’t fans of the NFL or don’t know who Bradshaw is, but to those of you who do, I know you just did a spit take worthy of Lenny Bruce and smacked your foreheads for not seeing the resemblance before. I’ve got a bone to pick with this scene right from the start. Bray was giving Dick some Grade A spittle-dripping, dick-hungry whore oral attention here and they cut away after only about twenty-five seconds of it. What movies in 2004 only has a twenty-five second blowjob? Well, besides this one. This is getting very annoying. These scenes are the very definition of being cock teasers. Believe it or not, ol Dick Nasty can still go. He bangs the shit out of young Bray cowgirl first and then teaches her a thing or two about the old school in reverse cowgirl. Believe me, I’m typing it as it happens. And I don’t type slow. By the time you finish reading the description, said act is usually over. Nasty bends Rhiannon over doggy next and I notice Bray is a little more vocal than before. A shot of the action from behind shows us that Nasty is in the nastiest of Rhiannon’s holes, her ass. But no sooner than you see it, we cut to Dick digging out rectal cavity missionary and Bray is as sexy as can be, whimpering and moaning until Nasty drops three or four huge dollops of boy (or old man) batter into her mouth and onto her tits. Man, if someone out there has an actual copy of Hustler’s Busty Beauties 9, I’d like to see it because it looks like it would be good. What I have is very obviously the recap/wrap-up of the action from the full-length version. I think this was the shortest scene yet, clocking in at just under seven minutes. Bray felt like B-girl filler here because physically she‘s so nondescript, but her performance was nothing to sneeze at. ** ½


Vanessa Blue

Last but certainly not least is Vanessa Blue. This isn’t my first time seeing Vanessa but the first time I’ve gotten to say anything about her in a public forum where more than just five or six people might see it. Vanessa Blue is what I think most men think of when they think about a steaming hot pot of smoldering black sexuality. Blue’s got out of this world curves that would drive a Chinese mathematician insane, eyes that could charm a snake and an abnormally wide Gina Gershon-like mouth that looks positively cavernous, capable of easily swallowing at least five dicks at once and none of them ever even reaching the back of her throat. She’s another one who seems to naturally enjoy being in front of the camera and likes putting on a show when she’s the center of attention. And when you’re stacked like Vanessa, you’re ALWAYS the center of attention. Vanessa’s innately charismatic, has a quick smile and even quicker wit. She just looks like someone who’s be a ball whenever you were around her and probably a barrel of laughs. Her unique enthusiasm and unorthodox way of carrying herself carries over into her scenes. When you see her once, you want to see her again. Here she’s paired with who I believe is her real life boyfriend, Lexington Steele. The two have worked together plenty of times before on-camera but Oh, what the sex must be like in that household! We’ve all seen Blue screw Lex before, so I’m interested to see what touch of “reality” the pair can bring to the screen because right now, this movie really needs to finish on a high note. Whatever they do, it’ll be cut all to hell like this was a foreign film and Hustler was Miramax so it doesn’t really matter now does it?

Lex and Vanessa get it on on a living room sofa. Blue has Lex out of his pants and sucking his dick almost immediately, his dick nearly reaching her cleavage while they are both standing! He’s crouched a little, but still that’s some impressive length. Blue only gets to suckle his sausage for a short while before Lex lies her back to spear her pierced pussy missionary. Some would say that Vanessa’s facial expressions are contrived, but I find them to be pretty smoking. She obviously enjoys what she does and has a good time doing it, why shouldn’t she smile? It’s a BIG smile, but still a very nice one. Riding Lex reverse cowgirl we see that trademark smile and witness her witty coital banter as she attempts to fuck her beau into submission. With girls like Vanessa, it’s always a competition. You can tell with her, fucking is like a sport and she has to win. She pulls out all her dirty little tricks to accomplish that task, be it taking shit, using her body in unique ways or just staring at you with those eyes of hers, steaming while she curls that upper lip and snarls at you, daring you to give her all you’ve got. At no time is that frame of mind more evident than here where she rides Lex cowgirl, concentrating her efforts in an attempt to drive him crazy and over the edge to the brink of premature ejaculation by crashing her ghetto booty like waves over the tip of his cock over and over, grinding in circles and bouncing her double F tits right in his face. Vanessa’s the type of girl who receives her sexual gratification by taunting you, embarrassing you and proving that you can’t “hang” with her one-on-one. That is what gets her off. Lex impales Vanessa as she lies on her side next, stabbing her wet pussy repeatedly, letting her stare at his monster cock as it makes its way deep into her slit. There’s literally twenty-five seconds of Vanessa backing her buttocks back on Lex’ rod doggie before we cut to Vanessa begging for cum while she rubs her clit in the missionary position. Lex pulls his fuck stick out of Blue and covers those brown bombers with his jizz while she bounces them and squeezes them together. Lex runs his dick through her cleavage and up into Vanessa‘s mouth, his slippery semen aiding the travel, where she greedily gobbles up the remains. Vanessa‘s attitude put this scene a notch above what we‘ve come to expect in this series. ***


Extras:

A Cast List (?), six preview trailers (Asian Fever 14, Barely Legal 42, Hot Showers 13, Young Sluts 11, Campus Confessions 5, Young Latin Girls 6, which oddly enough stars Ashley Blue, Avena Lee and Melanie Jagger), an automated slide show, a director’s profile (OMG MORE footage of the roving reporter Mark Kismet talking to, rather, kissing up to Lexington Steele for fuckin‘ ELEVEN minutes), a Behind the Scenes featurette (with yet another hilarious Mike Quasar appearance, 12:08), phone sex ads, ads for the Hustler family of web sites and a commercial for Hustler Hollywood. Seeing Kismet hang off of Lex‘s nutsack with no shame for eleven minutes makes me even more angry when I consider this space could’ve been used to um…I don’t know…puff out the main feature more, maybe?

The menus are broken down as follows for the chapter selections: once you choose the girl, you are taken to a second menu featuring a nice snapshot of her where the scene is then broken down further into interview, oral sex, blowjob, sex and cumshot segments. (with the exception of Victoria Givens and Rhiannon Bray who didn’t receive oral from their male counterparts and had anal sex with them anyway and Vanessa Blue who also didn’t receive oral sex so rightfully declined to do anal. That is a joke, by the way)

Comments:

The action is hot, the girls are up for most anything but what drags this down is the brevity. I just cannot justify recommending someone a disc where there are five scenes all about seven minutes long. For you rocket scientists out there, that means there’s about thirty-five minutes of actual sex on the DVD. For the right fan, with the right girls included, that may be worth your money. But it’s pushing it. The disc is packed with extras and bonus footage everywhere except where it counts, in the main feature. Everything that made it into the feature is top-notch (and looks great due to Quasarman‘s usual first-rate camerawork), unfortunately there’s just not enough of it. Add more sex and less interview segments that run as long or longer than the sex scenes and this is easily one of the better fetish lines to come along in years. As it stands, this comes off like the first thirty minutes of a Leisure Time compilation tape entitled, “Introduction to Big Bust for Masturbatory Beginners.” Rent and avoid purchase, unless you’re a hardcore tit man.

Crucifixio Jones