Bucketful O' Chicken Review

Reviewed by Joe Shaver  on  3/16/2003

We hear the closing music to yet another episode of “I Love Lucy”. Two twinks seated on a sofa have been watching the show. They turn to one another.
Twink One: “I’m hungry.”
Twink Two: “I’m horny.”
Both together: “Clucks!”

This establishes the delightful premise of this film, a restaurant that specializes in chicken. Not the kind with feathers, but the kind with dicks. Not the kind that lay eggs, but the kind that just lay.

We see the familiar restaurant with its revolving bucket, but logo says “Clucks”.

Gavin Braun, a cute blond twink, drives up to the take-out window and orders some chicken. He is handed a tray with a bottle of lube. “Where’s my chicken?” he inquires. The waitress points, and there on the seat beside him is a naked Brad Benton. (Who could ask for anything more?) They never get out of the parking lot. These twinks are all over the car, and all over each other. Gavin has found some chicken that not only he can eat, but that also eats back. This scorching encounter ends with Brad bottoming for the blond twink.

Ty Parks and Clint Fox decide to eat in the restaurant. The waiter opens a door and pulls out a naked Trent Atkins for Ty and a naked Antonio Madeira for Clint. The dictum “don’t play with your food” doesn’t apply here. Again it’s chicken on chicken so you soon can’t tell the customers from the cuisine. Trent is a blond cutie; Ty is a petit brunet. Adorable Antonio has a pierced tongue; baby-faced Clint has a big upturned dick.

Ty tops Trent as Clint slides his big dick up into Antonio. Ty and Trent finish first. “My but you’re a fast eater,” he’s told. He must now wait for Antonio to bugger Clint.

Well in case you were wondering how one gets hired at Clucks, we meet the big Cluck himself, Chad Knight as he interviews a prospective employee, Lance Landers. I grew up watching Chad in porn who now seems to be returning to the business, having seen him in ORAL REPORT and now here. Although he must certainly be in his late thirties, he can still pass for a young twenty-something. Lance is a chunky former marine that began in the Dirk Yates’ straight marine jackoff series and has moved on into gay porn proper. He’s very tattooed. Chad asks him to try on the uniform (there’s a uniform???!!!). When Chad gets a look at Lance’s big drumstick, he announces “Time for lunch,” and chows down. Lance briefly and reluctantly returns the favor. Chad first sits on Lance’s lance and then lies back on the desk to take it that way. Lance gets the job. He can only work on Sundays—the day the restaurant’s closed. Still, “See you on Sunday,” Chad tells him.

It’s after hours at Clucks and Cade Devlin is mopping up. Feeling a mite peckish he decides to steal a snack. Opening the door to the goodies, he chooses muscular beauty Chad Savage. (I guess he was more than just a little hungry after all.) After they have both feasted and Chad has filled both ends leaving Cade sated on the floor, Chad opens the door to the food locker and lets in Bret Wolfe, Jason Hawke, Jeremy Jordan, and the fabulously dicked Jason Sizemore. These four in a much too brief appearance along with Chad now cover Cade with chicken gravy.

This is enormous fun! It is done with sidesplitting humor, the sets are fabulous! Lighting, direction, performances are all perfect. I only wish there were a Clucks near me. I would get all my chicken there. Hell, I might even give up beef entirely!