Bring'Um Young Review

Reviewed by Principal Skinner  on  11/16/2000

Contrary to the misleading title, BRING 'UM YOUNG has nothing to do with the Mormon-based University [drum roll], but rather, is just another porn DVD from the decidedly non- conservative institution known as Anabolic Video. Of course, any xxx-rated movie with a title like this is bound to raise a few eyebrows as well as other body parts, but rest assured, there are no Traci Lords-aged girls in this feature. But like the BARELY LEGAL series from Hustler Video, this video is an obvious (and commendable, might I add) attempt to pander to the dirty old man/woman buried deep in every porn watcher's heart.

However, once you get past the novelty of seeing young and the restless at play, maintaining viewer interest in this series will ultimately depend on the strength of its fucking and sucking scenes. Thankfully, BRING 'UM YOUNG meets up to Anabolic standards for raw, uninhibited, and adulterated white hot sex. With six scenes of wall-to-wall action during the entire two hour, twenty minute running time, this video will is obviously aimed for those who want to dispense with plot, characterization, and other literary or filmic elements found in titles from companies like Vivid, VCA, Wicked and other higher brow productions.

Exotic-looking brunette Adriana Sage opens up the movie with a fun-luvin' scene with Vince Voyeur. I recall first seeing Adriana for the first time in one of Diabolic's DOWN THE HATCH videos, where she swallowed a mouthful of jizz like it were melted ice cream. Needless to say, I was not disappointed in her performance here, which had less swallowing, but more acrobatic action.

Cover girl Guage, by far one of the more attractive girls of the bunch (who kind of looks like Mena Suvari's younger distant cousin) gives up her body and soul to Mickey G and Mojo (a less than clever AUSTIN POWERS reference). She is a proficient performer, despite her age, which shows that this girl has been around the block more than a few times. Immeditaely thereafter, short-haired brunette Paige Sinclair seems more reserved in her threesome with Vince and Mickey, but is still liberal enough to allow both guys to grope and grab her like two dirty old men, and to perform an uncomfortable looking vaginal DP.

Nature, whom by her very name best describes her overall average looks, is the least photogenic of the bunch. Even more distracting is the patches of rash, boils, and pimples around her thigh and crotch area which show up with ruthless clarity on DVD. This is not to say that the girl is unattractive, indeed she is probably average when it comes to the average actress in most Diabolic and Anabolic videos. But with only six long scenes with six actresses, it's hard not to be critical over performers whose physical appearance may make the scene "skippable." However, her scene is made up by the fresh-faced beauty of Skyler, who isn't quite ready for prime time videotaped sex just yet, especially when she avoids an oral money shot as if it were, well, icky man goo. She is most appealing when giving head, but demonstrates her amateur performance status throughout the scene. The movie ends on a lesser note when dark-haired Bella (who sports large, garish tattoos) engages in menage a trois which was enjoyable, but not especially notable after all the other performances. There is a problem with every scene beginning to lookalike after awhile, and that's what makes BUY a bit monotonous.

For those who thoroughly enjoy the BARELY LEGAL series, BRING 'UM YOUNG offers the same kind of youthful exuberance and appearance which might appeal to fans of that series. However, I must have to admit to enjoying the BARELY LEGAL videos much more than this Anabolic counterpart, because at least Hustler Video tries to develop some sort of situational plot or premise with each vignette, which helps create tension and mood to all the bump and grind scenes. BRING 'UM YOUNG, on the other hand, just goes straight to the action. Still, the clear, crisp video quality of this Anabolic title is excellent and the "cumshot recaps" feature is always an inspired and welcome feature.

BRING 'UM YOUNG isn't an outstanding release, but it is simply more good work from Anabolic.