Breakin' 'em In 9 Review

Director

Vince Vouyer

Cast

Haylee Le, Allison Pierce, Kyanna Lee, Carmen Kinsley, Amy Ried, Trista Tanner, Scott Lyons, Mike Hash, Kyle Stone, Tommy Gun, Mikey Butders, Joe Blow, Steven French, C.J. Wright, Brad Baldwin, Dick Delaware, Sascha & Vince Vouyer.

Genre

All Sex

Condoms

None.

Running Time of Main Feature

3 Hrs. 00 Mins.

Female Orgasms

0

REVIEW:
Hi-ho! MLyons theeee Porn Reviewer here, and well--it's been a while. "Where the hell has he been?" I hear the two of you who actually read my reviews asking. Well, to tell you the thruth, I've been selling one of my houses, moving to a different state, hanging out with friends and family, getting set up with a high definition television and getting lost in all the accompanying high-def content that goes with it. I've been working on my own erotic stories (cuz let's face it, I can make it up in my head better than porn can produce it). I've been playing PS2 games. I've been working. I've been helping my wife get through her writing classes now that she's gone back to college and changed her career path. I've been doing a lot of stuff. That's not to say that I haven't been watching porn, though. Oh--heavens no.

It's amazing what taking a break from reviewing porn will do to your perception of it. Just as the very act of reviewing porn can tend to change what you enjoy and what you don't, the same can happen when you DON'T review it. Leaving aside the pressure of having to write about what you're watching really does allow you to be a true consumer. It allows you to honestly ignore everything "intellectual" that might cloud your perception of porn and get back to the basics: Did it get me off?

Crude? Oh yes, indeed. But I'm here to tell ya, friends--that's what most porn is all about!

And just to embrace all that is crude--I've been rather surprised to have found several releases from Vouyer Media that my dick has actually enjoyed. Go figure. Breakin' 'Em In #9 is new to me, so we'll see if the trend continues. Gotta jump-start the old writin'-noggin', though. It could be a little rusty, so you'll have to bare with me.

If the extensive setup to this scene is to be believed, Haylee is a pretty Asian girl with a Vietnamese background, It starts with Vince meeting with Haylee in his office and grilling her about why she's decided to return to porn after 3 years and, previous to now, only a couple scenes in the business. Vince and Zack, his assistant behind the camera, take their time. They dress her up, give her a dildo to try and swallow, and pretty soon Vince has his dick in her hairless pussy. Unbeknownst to Haylee, Vince plans on bringing Scott Lyons into the fray for the "Break'in 'Em In" portion of our show. Evidently Haylee hasn't done more than one guy on camera before. It's all part of the set up that they are "surprising her", but of course--they really aren't. She takes it all in stride, and has kind of a crude, trash-talky way about her that somehow doesn't do it for me. "Pull that shit out." "You like that shit?" Etc. Eh--not for me. Anyway, they fuck her in a variety of the usual positions, with no anal. Vince cums on her pussy, Scott jacks off on her face, and so it ends. Were I not reviewing this, I would likely have fast forwarded my way through the scene after the initial set up was done, but Haylee is energetic and capitulatory, even if she is a bit business-like about the whole affair. I'm sure plenty of people will find something to like here.

Scene 2A - Kyanna Lee

Kyanna is another Asian, this time with Cambodian blood, and yeah, she's pretty cute, I suppose. She claims to like aggressive sex, and gives Vince a run-down of the different acts she's performed in her three months in the business. What's even better, is that she does this with her legs splayed open sitting in a directors chair and diddling her pussy. After the interview, Vince abruptly dismisses her and says they'll set something up for her as soon as they can. Awwww... Denied.

Scene 3 - Allison Pierce

Allison is a cute blonde with little boobies, and a pretty, thin body. She starts in the makeup chair with a quickie interview, and then she's shown in to the set where six guys are waiting for her. She wastes no time before taking them all, one by one into her mouth, and in some cases down her throat. I have to tell y'all, even though Allison is pretty, she almost takes second stage to all the inane chatter of one specific guy. I don't know who he is, and I can't explain it--but his yammering all just seemed a little juvenile and unnecessarily macho to me. Allison sucks dick, gets her ass fucked and luckily, stupid-talky-guy and two of the other guys end up cumming in Allison's mouth early in the scene. The three guys left are much more tolerable in their behavior for my taste, and they pass her around for a while--taking turns in her mouth, pussy and ass. In this way, the scene gets a lot more interesting to me once the first three guys vacate the premises. Allison is cute, she reacts to the guys nicely, and she seems up for anything. She gets good and fucked, and the three guys remaining each cum on her face in turn. It's not a fantastic scene, but it's certainly a good one--even if only for the fact that its progression isn't entirely predictable.

Scene 2B - Kyanna Lee

Kyanna has been invited back to actually fuck this time. (Yay!) She's teamed up with Mikey Butders (a "new to California" stud), and Steven French for some 2 on 1 action. Mikey warms her up with some licking and fingering, and then she warms him up with some refreshingly quiet, but no less interesting blowjob action. Steven joins him and the dual blowjob is followed by the usual tag team pussy fucking escapades. At the end two more guys join the party just to give Kyanna a lot of cum to attempt to swallow. Kyanna is new to swallowing, and although much of the guys' cum lands on her face, she swallows a good bit of it as well. Some post pop-shot interview footage is accompanied by some subtitltes that poke fun at Kyanna as being a "cum-dodger", but I thought she was sexy and did a fine job. This ended up being a pretty good scene, but I guess after all was said and done, it did seem to come out a bit on the awkward side.

Scene 4 - Carmen Kinsley

Zack (Vince's camera assistant) finds Carmen's photos on Spiegler's website and decides to call over there to try and book her. As luck would have it, they send her over right away, and there's no doubt about it, she's an awfully pretty girl. She's got blonde hair, substantial tits, a big ass, and a nice lookin' body. She's a little more filled out that I normally like, but that's just a matter of taste. Tommy Gun joins them, and the usual boy-girl action ensues. Cocksucking, tit-fucking, pussy-fucking--there's plenty of everything. No anal, but Tommy does manage to fuck her with his dick poking through a chain link fence for a little while. Carmen's also gets real sweaty--and I'm sure there are some fetishists out there who might appreciate that. Tommy cums all over Carmen's ass, and then out of nowhere, two more guys show up to give Carmen's mouth a workover. They cum on her face and so ends another decent, but not particularly memorable scene.

Scene 5 - Amy Ried

Zack is back on the phones and messing with the Vouyer Media website when Amy Ried just happens to show up at the warehouse door. She's lookin' for work, and Zach is there to help her out. An extended "business of porn" set up follows--including scheduling issues, no-shows, etc. It's okay, though, because eventually Vince decides to do the deed himself. What a pain in the ass that must have been... :)

Anyhoo--Amy has a rockin' bod, with large, and very impressive breasts, and a gorgeous ass. Her face isn't too shabby either, complete with the full lips and the pretty smile. She's arguably the best looking girl in the movie. Vince doesn't waste any time sticking his dick straight up her asshole, and Amy looks terrific on her hands and knees with her little black g-string stretched across her thighs. Several of the usual positions, and no short amount of time later, Amy has taken it extensively in both ass and pussy, with a bit of ass to mouth action on the side. Vince finishes himself off by giving Amy an anal cream pie, and they make a big deal about getting her to push it out again. After much effort, Amy finally succeeds. Anyway--there it is.

EXTRAS:

Bonus Core - Trista Tanner 27 Mins. Trista is a fairly good looking brunette who after some round-about discussion with Zack, ends up in a quick blowjob scene with Jack Napier. For those who are new... or blind, Jack Napier is black, and is rather well known for having an exceedingly large cock. I have to say, I just don't get the HUGE-ass dick thing. But eh--that's just me. As you might expect, Trista does have some trouble taking Jack into her mouth, but she soldiers on anyway, and eventually he cums in her mouth. As bonus scenes go, I've seen alot better.
Cutting Room Floor : 34 Min.
Hardcore Pics

OVERALL:
I have to say, boy, Vouyer Media really knows how to pack a DVD with every last minute they can. The main feature is 3 hours. The extras total another hour. For you fans who get off on sheer quantity, you can't really squeeze too much more than 4 hours on one DVD. On the other hand, this is far from the best Vouyer Media release I've seen. Amy Ried's anal scene is probably the best on the disc, and if she's to be believed, this might in fact be one of the last scenes she does in porn. Enjoy it, because it's actually pretty yummy. I also found things to like about Allison Pierce's scene, and Kyanna Lee's work. That said though, I'm not sure that that "Breakin' 'Em In" premise is something that really interests me a whole lot. The movie really took away any pretense of sexual chemistry and instead seemed to revel in the idea that these were simply girls who were showing up to fuck for a paycheck. I know some people will like the honesty of that, but I guess I found it kind of business-like and bland.

Questions or constructive comments about this review? Email me at Torx73 AT gmail.com


Other Adult Movie Reviews by Mike Lyons