Brazil Nuts 7 Review

Reviewed by Joe Shaver  on  8/20/2002

The Brazil Nuts series are no-frills films using performers who are not movie star handsome, but usually sexy. If average looking Latinos with big uncut dicks are your thing, you’ll usually be satisfied. If you are tired of the same old faces and the same old dicks, then these might be a nice change of pace. If you want something more, then perhaps these are not for you.

In Opus 7, we see a young Brazilian with short curly hair standing in the woods?, forest?, jungle? with his dick hanging out of his pants. He jiggles it a bit before another guy in sunglasses joins him and gives him a helping hand. He also gives him a helping mouth. As guy one removes the pants of the guy in sunglasses, he finds an enormous purple prick and becomes a purple penis eater. (I'm really sorry for that, I just couldn't help it.) As we hope, he then gets screwed by the thing. (The guys in this film chatter away in Portuguese. When the guy is getting buggered by this big dick he keeps repeating “EYE-EE” which might not be a word, just an expression of pain or pleasure.)

In scene two we see the guy on the cover alone in the words? forest? jungle? He strokes his cock through his briefs and then takes it out to wank. I hoped that someone would join him as they did the guy in scene one, but no one did, and his jack off was badly photographed (camera was never in the right place and the light was variable). Since this guy is the one who enticed me to buy the DVD, I felt rooked.

The third scene takes us back to the guy we saw fucked in scene one. (We are still in the woods? forest? jungle? I’m feeling quite at home now with that clump of bamboo.) Again he is joined by a second guy, but this time the fuckee of scene one becomes the fucker of scene three. (They sure are versatile, these Brazilian guys.)

The final scene still finds us in the great outdoors; this time with a slender, pale and very hairy guy being given a massage by a dark-skinned, heavily tattooed young man. (I learned that “massage” is the Portuguese word for “massage”. Who says these films are not educational?) When Pale Hairy turns over and Tattoo removes his briefs, we see another of those big purple doodles. Tattoo’s oral skills are far superior to his massaging skills. He gives Pale Hairy a tongue bath before consuming the purple doodle. When Tattoo dropped his shorts, however, I dropped my chin. Here was a purple penis bigger than the guy’s in scene one, and definitely bigger than Pale Hairy’s pride and joy. As Tattoo inserted himself into Pale Hairy and began to pound away, we get our first good glimpse of his tattoo. There was an entire head of an ancient Indian chief on his outer thigh. (A Guarany, maybe?) It was certainly different. Soon they were cumming; then going into the woods? forest? jungle? We are left alone with our lonely strand of bamboo. The End.

Again, if you buy it for the guy on the cover, DON’T. If you’re buying it for big uncut Latino dicks, DO. Just don’t expect a Logan Reed or a Ryan Idol. These are just your run-of-the mill Brazilian guys. Rio, anyone?