Boys Casting Review

Reviewed by Joe Shaver  on  1/9/2005

Do you feel you are not overly attractive? Are you not getting enough sex? Well, there’s a solution to your problems. Get yourself a camcorder and tell guys you are auditioning them for a film or web site. That’s what we have here in the most self-aggrandizing film I’ve yet to see.

The director/producer/cameraman/star calls himself Bruce. He’s less than average in looks. His cock is ugly and—okay, I’ll say it—he has a fat ass. In this film he has assembled nine star-wanna-bes to audition for him. He makes each suck his ugly cock and most also have to take it up the ass.

The first is Nicko who with his tiny cock and lack of pubic hair looks to be all of twelve-years-old. Now when Nicko sucks cock it’s not too bad—except that the cock he’s sucking is ugly. Since Bruce is holding the camera and looking down on the action it’s almost as though Nicko (and the others) is sucking our cocks. But when the fucking starts it goes haywire. You can’t fuck and hold a camera at the same time. If you do—as we see here—the picture shakes, rocks, and goes out of focus. I actually started to get motion sickness. It ends—as all but one will—with Bruce cumming on the sucker’s face. In this instance little Nicko sucks the scummy cock clean. Nicko is sort of cute, but he obviously has the brain of a gnat.

Jakub, another twink, has dark hair. He is overly anxious to get fucked. When it’s over and his face is smeared with spunk, he inquires, “Am I hired?” It should be pointed out that at no time in the film do any of those "auditioning" cum. The whole thing is set up for Bruce to get his rocks off. He doesn’t give a damn about them. Now if you were really auditioning guys wouldn’t you want to see THEIR money shot?

Ivan has a bit of chest hair and is trying to grow a mustache. The routine is varied slightly here in that between the sucking and the fucking Ivan gets a ribbed purple dildo up his fundament.

Allen is slender and has a goatee. I think he’s shaved his cock hair but I can’t be sure as his scene lasts only a minute. After he’s sucked briefly, Bruce removes his clothes showing us his fat ass and the scene cuts abruptly to…

JD, the least attractive of the auditioners. Bruce has met his equal here. He talks a lot. His mouth is filled with large teeth. Bruce may get circumcised. He’s shaved his pubic hair. Bruce—of course—fucks him.

Maxim is another blond. Not as cute as Nicko, but rather sweet. Max is not fucked but his blowjob goes on for hours. Even though I had been fast-forwarding through this film more that any I have ever done before, I hoped this was the end, but no.
There’s Jonathan. He has a huge uncut pego that I would have liked to see put to some use or at least noticed, but that’s not part of Bruce’s agenda. This sexy kid deserved more.

The last is Jake. He’s twenty-four, has a pierced ear, pierced eyebrow, and pierced tongue. He’s not even required to undress, just suck Bruce to climax.

Some of these guys deserve to be in a real film with a real director and real cameramen and—most of all—a REAL EDITOR! I don’t normally price a film, except when I want to make a comment by doing so. So with no production costs and the fact that this is one of the most boring and definitely the most annoying film I’ve seen and the fact that blank DVDs cost at the most 50 cents -- that’s what I say it’s worth. As stated above, this is just a ruse for a rather unattractive guy to get sex. More power to him for his cleverness. But why should we have to watch?