Blade's Real World Review

Reviewed by Netguy  on  2/6/2002

What a great concept! Take a couple of porn stars to a major city, hit a few clubs, pick up some guys off the street and throw them into a porn shoot with one of the stars! That’s what this first installment of Blade’s Real World attempts to do but falls rather short. The box cover states it was an “AAAA” AVN winner but I’m not sure for what as I didn’t find it to award winning in my book!

Shot in documentary style we first see Dino Dimarco and Grant Wood at the airport on their way to Raleigh-Durham, SC. They are headed there to do a benefit fashion show, some appearances at local clubs and so forth. It’s fun watching them off the set and in everyday surroundings as they joke with the camera and so forth. Blade Thompson is behind the camera. After the fashion show a fan of Grant’s appears and they ask him if he’d like to be in a scene with Grant. He’s all for it and has a big ass smile on his face! That lucky dog! Later on Dino and Grant attend a club where they sign autographs and pick up another guy to perform. He seems eagerly as excited and thus the film unfolds.

The next day the camera crew shows up at the Victorian guest house where the stars are staying and make their way through the front door. Dino’s relaxing on the couch and claims he hasn’t been to bed yet. They make their way upstairs and find Grant sucking on the dick of the guy they picked up at the fashion show. They ask him what name he would choose as a porn star and he states, Frank O’Thomas. Franks a big, brawny guy that’s built like a brick shit house! Needless to say he’s got a limp dick! Grant sucks and sucks on that boy to no avail! Either he’s camera shy or wasn’t that much of a fan as he sure can’t get it up! Once in a while Grant looks at the camera and makes a witty remark as Frank lays there motionless. Frank doesn’t reciprocate at all. This goes on for a while and I got bored pretty quick. Eventually Frank does fuck Grant, and fucks, and fucks. He pounds Grants ass furiously until Grant must get tired of it all and decides to jerk himself off. Frank eventually pulls out and shoots his little load and it almost looks fake as his dick still wasn’t hard!? Who knows? If I had been Grant though I would’ve been disappointed that I had to work my ass off for little or nothing!

Next up is the guy they met at the club. He shows up at the house and him and Dino play a bit of pool. The guy has chosen Tony Bandanza as his porn name and this guy is extremely cute! With boyish looks, nice body, cute smile and dimples that will melt your heart! He also made the boxcover so lucky for him! He looks a bit familiar but I’m not sure if he’s ever really gotten into the porn industry or not. Anyway, the strip off their clothes and Tony goes down on Dino’s big, thick cock. Tony’s not very big in comparison but who cares! He’s cute and charming. Unfortunately he’s not much of a performer either! Damn! As he sucks away on Dino he remains flaccid. He also remarks that its his first time sucking dick. What’s up with that? Are these guys really straight? Or did he just come out? I don’t know but I’d be hard as a rock if I were with Dino that’s for sure! They switch positions and Dino tries to work Tony’s cock over but doesn’t get very far. Dino plays with his ass, which looks sore, and makes his way to shoving his dick up there. Tony’s bent over the pool table and Dino goes to town. Then on his back and ass he’s getting fucked Tony does manage to shoot a nice heaping load! Yeah! He did it! Dino shoots his wad too which wasn’t to impressive. Another dud. Tony at the end claims that was his first time being fucked too. For his ass looking so sore I don’t know what he’s been doing then!

Finally day 4 comes around and Blade has made his way to a beach. There he talks to a skinny, blonde, who claims he has what it takes to be a star. He seems pretty sure of himself and even offers to pick a guy up we see standing near the bathrooms, a hustler maybe? They go into what appears to be the same bathroom but I suspect it was actually a set, where “Tomie Cloud” and “Chris Gill” get it on through a glory hole. It goes on and on. Both the guys I thought were kind of skeevy and street like so I zipped through this.

Well, on day 5 Dino picks up another “I wanna be a porn star for a day” guy in a bookstore. This guy chose Dan Dixon for his name and as with all the rest he wasn’t much, a big bear type that sweated his ass off doing this. They both shoot minor loads. It’s not worth going into much detail.

Overall a great idea that went horribly wrong! Why didn’t Blade give these guys a pre-test on performance or something? The box cover features “Tony Bandanza” who was the cutest of the bunch, and even Dino or Grant didn’t seem to be having all that much fun. I feel sorry for them. There are others in the series and I hope they’ve gotten better with age!