Big Wet Asses 7 Review

Reviewed by Kelly  on  2/6/2006

Title: Big Wet Asses 7
Company: Elegant Angel
Length: 105 minutes
Production Date(s): December 31, 2005
Release Date: January 31, 2006
Condoms: None

Directed by: William H.

THE MOVIE:
Whereas the first non-facial body part I used to look at on a girl was the chest, lately my gaze seems to go right to the ass. This isn’t just in porn though. My girlfriend has caught me staring at her ass a couple of times in the past month, which has lead to both fun conversations and not-so-fun arguments. This change in focus on my part has been somewhat necessitated by the emergence of a certain porn star who happens to be gracing the cover of William H.’s Big Wet Asses 7: Naomi, or, as director Jake Malone calls her, “Gluteous Magnificus”. Simply put, I have never seen a white girl (actually, she’s Czech-Israeli) with an ass as fine or luscious as her’s. For whatever reason, when I look at her ass I feel compelled to pick up a camera and ask her if I can follow her around the park as she runs in tight jogging shorts. I guess that makes her my Tracey Adams, that is if the story of John Stagliano getting the inspiration for “Buttman” while looking at Tracey’s ass is true. Heck, Naomi even bears a slight facial resemblance to Tracey, though the rest of her body is closer to P.J. Sparx. Of course, no one woman should be reduced to just one portion of her body nor does she probably wish that her entire body be viewed as a mix of the best features of previous women, or in this case porn stars. Naomi does have a personality, and it’s a shy-yet-engaging one. She also has a hot and cold performing streak, meaning she’s a sexual animal in some scenes while being quite restrained in others. Lately, she’s been hot, and now she’s, to steal a phrase from my fellow reviewer Crucifixio Jones, added anal and DP to her sexual repertoire. Here with BWA 7, we have her second ever anal scene.

However, this is by no means “the Naomi show”. No, no, no. There are four other girls doing anal here too, but they are just as insignificant as Naomi. No, this is the William H. show. With his self-produced music, awkward camera angles, and kinetic editing, he is the real presence on-screen because his style supercedes the action. Whereas I think of ass-worship in the archaic “Buttman” terms, William clearly thinks it means having each scene start with a heavily edited tease sequence that segues into them kneeling in front of the camera as the guy pours baby oil over her ass and then fucks her without much foreplay. During the pre-scene, the girls bounce their ass to the left or the right to the beat of the music. William also smash cuts between low-angle shots of the girl’s face and ass so fastly that it renders blinking disorienting. Once into the actual sex, H. sticks to his proclivity for low angles, tight shots (it’s like a breathe of fresh air when he actually pulls out for a wide shot), and overused editing that prevents any of the scenes from building up real sexual continuity. In porn, if two people are fucking with a minimum amount of cuts, I am more inclined to believe their moans. When there is a cut in-between damn near every position, or multiple cuts within the same position as in Naomi’s scene, I am inclined to believe there is more acting going on and/or the scene didn’t go smoothly so the director is trying to cover it up with editing. This is a shame because having Kinzie, Flower Tucci, Georgia Peach, Gia Jordan, and Naomi in the cast of your big butt, all-anal film makes things pretty hard to fuck up. I won’t say that he fucked it up completely though because I did get sporadic moments of enjoyment from the film. However, like with referees in sports, am I made aware of the director’s (and/or editor’s) presence in this all-sex video? Yep. Is it to the detriment of the film? For me? Big time! For everyone else? I don’t know. I think my reaction will be in the minority because what I might view as overused editing and poor camera angles might be seen as being perfectly conducive for jerking off by others.

THE SEX:
Scene 1: Kinzie Kenner w/Sascha (22 minutes)

New blonde hair, too much make-up, bad fake tits caused by the fact that she never had the proper frame for implants in the first place, and a nasty streak as evidenced by an increased propensity for dirty talking. Yep, Kinzie Kenner is a porn star now. The Lil’ Red Riding Slut star, who as of this writing still advertises herself as “the teen porn star” on her website, has become pornified both in terms of appearance and on-screen performance. I appreciate the new enthusiasm, but I am not fond of the new appearance, particularly the stuffed chest-the breasts of a 22-year-old aren’t supposed to be that far apart. During the pre-scene, there is a fan off-screen blowing her hair for that lingerie commercial style eroticism. As for the sex, she gets baby oil on her ass in the beginning and a poke in the pussy for 30 seconds. Then, it’s wham, bam, kneeling doggy anal. They go on to do anal in cowgirl, reverse cowgirl (implants don’t look so good here), mish, and after that they start repeating themselves. Position of the scene is reverse cowgirl with her legs straight up in the air, particularly since it sounds like she comes pretty close to an orgasm. In the end, she takes Sascha’s load in her mouth, spits all of it out, and bends back over for him to poke her ass a little more in doggy anal before going limp.

Scene 2: Flower Tucci w/Mark Ashley (24 minutes)

With her hair in curls and face awash in make-up, I barely recognize Flower until she starts bouncing her ass causing the cellulite on her thighs (I am not criticizing her; I think she’s hot) to shake as well. As for the sex, she gets Mark dick in her ass and pussy before she gets any foreplay, which comes mostly in the form of a butt plug. Of course, the plug is taken out far too quickly and she gets poked in the ass again before we abruptly cut to her sucking his dick/getting throat fucked. We just as abruptly cut from the blowjob to her with Mark in cowgirl, shaking her ass as he reaches up to pour oil on said ass. There are three separate cuts during the sex, which is a fucking shame because Mark and Flower were really working it. She squirts after the third cut. We cut to missionary on the couch, and he alternates between her ass and pussy during this (a thought: isn’t this very, very unwise from a health standpoint?). She squirts again. Cut to her grinding her ass in a sideways cowgirl. Pretty hot. Cut to sideways mish anal. Cut to Mark shooting an average load on her face.

Scene 3: Georgia Peach w/Sascha (23 minutes)

If Naomi looks like Tracey Adams, Georgia Peach is a dead ringer for Samantha Stylle. However, I am not exactly aroused watching Sascha giving her a practical gynecological exam that stops just a couple steps short from Max Hardcore-territory. This sets the tone for the scene: he’s in charge and she apparently wants it that way. This is driven home after several positions of sex when he grabs her by the hair, and forces her to crawl on the ground for him before entering her ass in kneeling doggy. In fact, they do this a couple of times. At one point, H. sticks with the same angle here and cuts three times as if to say that the two kept fucking like that so long that there’s no way he can put all the footage in (or that they kept fucking like that for so long because Sascha couldn’t pop and they kept going back to it). After everything, she gets an average facial. This scene has the least cuts on the tape (that’s good), but I didn’t dig really dig its atmosphere (that’s bad).

Scene 4: Gia Jordan w/Billy Glyde (16 minutes)

As we begin the sex, Gia’s panties are already gone and Billy’s tongue is going straight to her asshole. There are then several cuts, but at one point during this Gia got two fingers up her ass while Billy had two up her pussy. She actually gets to suck his cock before any penetration, but with the pills and needles the guys use nowadays a blowjob in porn has everything to do with lubrication and nothing to do with stimulation. We abruptly cut from this to him already fucking her on the couch in kneeling doggy. She loses her clothes, except for the black F-me pumps, and they get to anal in kneeling doggy. A bunch of time compressions cuts walk us through the rest of the scene, which sees mish anal, cowgirl anal, missionary anal, more kneeling doggy anal, and then cum on her mouth. DJ H. laid down the techno tunes in the background throughout the scene.

Scene 5: Naomi (her face is on the cover) w/Van Damage (16 minutes)

Naomi starts in kneeling doggy on the couch as Van pours oil over her ass. After rubbing the oil around, he teases her with the tip of his cock a little bit before finally penetrating her. After only a couple of thrusts though, he lets Naomi take over, and it is super hot. I have seen few porn stars that know how to work their ass and grind back on a guy the way Naomi does, but most male performers (or directors) don’t utilize this or let her even do it (it’s hard to when you always pair her with fucking monster cocks). Of course, William and his editor do their best to get in the way. Appropriately enough, we abruptly cut to her already sucking his cock while kneeling in front of him on the couch. The angle from underneath Van’s balls was probably a mistake. We abruptly cut to an anal penetration shot in kneeling doggy, and if you’ll notice she’s suddenly naked except for her black F-me pumps. During the kneeling doggy anal, there are 11 cuts and the position only runs for 3 minutes. There are 5 separate cuts during cowgirl anal, and that position runs for less than 2 minutes. Naomi seems like she’s starting to get into it (or she’s acting like she is), but of course Van has to pull out and cum on her face. She poses in an oh-so believable manner for the camera as we fade out. DJ H. again laid down the tunes for us to enjoy in the background. Scene suffers some minor shadow and lighting issues (unless Naomi's skin is actually red).

SPECIAL FEATURES:
Photo Gallery, Behind the Scenes (13 minutes)-Naomi falls and laughs at herself, claims that not only is this her second anal scene it’s her second anal experience ever; does this explain why the anal portion of her scene is chopped to hell?, Bonus Scene (31 minutes)-Tianna Lynn w/Jake Malone from BWA 6-Tianna did anal during her first run in the biz, but this is her first anal scene since coming back. She looks like she enjoys it much more now, and Trailers

FINAL THOUGHT:
As best I can tell, William was actually the videographer on all previous installments of this series, but this is his first time actually directing one. Before, Thomas Zupko helmed the ship, and man do I miss him. Long gone are his Gregory Dark-esque outfits and silliness that so annoyed many viewers, but I’d take those back if it meant better editing. Whereas Zupko has now regressed back to making his pretentious porn operas, William’s future might still be filled with scantily clad women who shake their bodies in rhythm with the beat of the music. Just in the realm I’m talking about, they call it a music video. And with how hot the trailer for as opposed to the actual film of Big Wet Asses 7 is, I’d say he’s perfect for that line of work.

RENT IT or BUY IT:
NEITHER. I bought it, and I regret it especially since I know there are plenty more anal scenes from Naomi on the way.

About the Author:
I am an undergrad in college writing reviews of porn DVDs from time to time, hopefully giving you enough (sometimes overly serious) information to aid in porn shopping decisions. My favorite porn stars of all time are Avy Scott, Christy Canyon, and Taylor St. Claire. Among the active girls, I enjoy Naomi, Sunny Lane, Sara Stone, Harmony Rose, and Riley Mason. I also appreciate some of the stars of yesterday, particularly Taija Rae, Joanna Storm, Jacqueline Lorians, April West, PJ Sparx, Victoria Paris, and Nikki Dial. As such, you could say I’m a brunette man, ass-man, and breast-man (implants almost always turn me off though). I avoid Max Hardcore, Ed Powers, Evasive Angles, JM Productions, and compilations like the plague. I keep track of new releases from Evil Angel as well as new-to-DVD classics from companies like VCA and Caballero. When it comes to directors, I enjoy the vintage films from Henri Pachard, Paul Thomas, John Leslie, and John Stagliano whereas I currently enjoy the work being done by Justin Slayer and DirtySanchez (Bangbros, but not the bangbus site). My favorite porn films of all time include Sex Life of a Porn Star (1986), The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women 1 (2000), and The Fashionistas (2003).