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Note:
this is a US edition of a movie released in Germany as Big Willy: Schwanz-Schule,
and has a production date of July 2000. Credit www.bgafd.co.uk
for info and IDs.
I'm always somewhat bemused about the way British pornography almost uniquely
promotes itself on a patriotic basis. Pretty much every box cover I see,
or so it seems, has a Union Jack, as if to say "whatever its failings,
at least it's British!" The other thing that gets me is the predictable
tendency towards sub-Benny Hill humour (check all the punning pseudonyms
for British porn producers), and that's what the affable Omar Williams
resorts to here in the surprisingly well-played opening to this resolutely
low budget adventure. The well-built star makes an unlikely drag performer,
as he dresses in women's clothes so he is permitted to stay at the YWCA.
It's funnier than it sounds, honest!
Kirsti
Unfortunately, it's almost all downhill from here. Omar's, or should I
say "Ophelia's", neighbour at the hostel introduces herself, looking out
for some girl-girl action. Omar and his cameraman Burt, also in drag,
keep up the pretence as they check out olive-skinned Kirsti's pierced
pussy and tits, but she's too keen to get into our "girl's" pants. There
she finds Omar's big knob. So far, so mildly amusing, but seeing Omar
in drag enjoying a BJ is kind of grotesque too! It is not an edifying
sight.
You may have noticed that I am avoiding comment on Kirsti's appearance
but the attempts to keep up the humorous banter, and her jiggling tits
as Omar fucks her in missionary, can only provide so much distraction
from her plain looks…look, I am only going to end up insulting the girl,
so let's just leave it at that! Although it does little for me, they seem
to have a modicum of enjoyment during the sex, and the cross-dressed cocksman
eventually finds his way up Kirsti's ass (even though the poor lighting
makes it hard to see) in a couple of positions, before shooting his load
on her hands. Oh, how I hate the "novelty" come shot. She licks the mess
up undeterred.
Tia
Still in drag, Omar's out for a stroll in a park, when he happens on a
slim young girl with slightly Latin looks. Tia's been kicked out by her
boyfriend, so the sly Omar invites her to stay in his room. Back there,
he tempts her into kissing a woman for the first time, but sure enough,
oh how I laugh, she finds his bra is stuffed with padding and his knickers
are stuffed with cock. This being porn comedy, she continues with the
sex rather than calling the cops about this pervert!
Slim but not really in shape, Tia's not to my taste but at least she's
more naturally responsive with her cock sucking and her reactions to Omar's
hearty pounding sex. The skirts and tops come off, from both guy and girl,
as the sex continues with several more positions worth of reasonably energetic
if straightforward (save for Omar still in his stockings) sex, with a
few cheeky views of her round, uh, cheeks. A second guy, presumably Burt,
comes into play to make up a brief double pussy penetration, and then
both guys come on Tia's face. Omar then boots her out when a voice at
the door warns he's not allowed guests! What a gentleman.
Lucy
Omar gets caught out of disguise by blonde receptionist Lucy (AKA Claire
Astbury) - in full drag Omar looks as feminine as a 1970s East German
female shot putter, so the wig he puts on does nothing to stop her threatening
to throw the lads out of the all-girl establishment. Therefore Omar playfully
wrestles Lucy onto he bed, and licks her pussy in the hope of placating
her. She seems unconvinced. So he bends her legs back around her ears
and plugs her shaven pussy, Lucy still in her outfit of white blouse and
short skirt.
Again, she's a bit of a plain Jane, is slim but not in shape (though it
looks like she's recently had a baby?) and worst of all is pretty lethargic
when it comes to sex. She just lets Omar take her this way and that for
what seems like a very long time. The look on her face when he starts
fucking her ass is interesting, but it's a momentary break from the routine,
and when cameraman Burt gets the chance to fuck her ass till he comes
in her bum, she looks like she'd rather be someplace else. Omar finishes
off by coming in her mouth, but she still tells them they have to get
out.
Roxana
Thus homeless again, Omar has to dress in drag (Omar claims he wasn't
allowed to take his clothes, but I suspect he's coming to like it!) and
go round to his mate Terry Stephens' house (the man behind the One Eyed
Jacks movies) where to cut a long story short, Terry goes out leaving
Omar to get into another tumble, this time with Terry's buxom brunette
girlfriend Roxana. She seems to like a man who dresses in women's clothes,
and is in some fetching lingerie and stockings herself.
Roxana drops down to suck Omar's cock deeply and wetly, he returns the
favour and then fucks her, with Roxana quickly proving a more vocally
responsive performer if nothing else (okay, I admit it, I don't really
fancy her either; quite nice tits though). Omar runs through a lengthy
repertoire of positions with her, and it all ends with Burt shooting his
load on her face and getting a little head before Omar unloads profusely
on her face too. Naturally Terry chooses this moment to return, forcing
Omar to do a runner in time-honoured fashion.
Overall
Never having seen one of Omar's own movies before, I had hopes that the amiable
star would use his agreeable personality to pull some exciting performances
from his co-stars, but sadly the sex is largely workmanlike and mundane
and often seems to go on and on. Playing it for laughs works up to a point
(though Omar's drag act quickly becomes a drag itself), and the low budget,
"keeping it real" style, while doubtless imposed through financial necessity
rather than free choice, gives some raw pornographic imagery, even if
the camera sometimes gets so close-in you can't tell what you're looking
at.
However, Women's Anal Academy can't avoid looking cheap and not particularly
cheerful, and as much as I hate to say it, the inevitable conclusion is
that the cast of rather ordinary girls (which I understand can have appeal)
figures strongly in that view. Tacky locations and rather clunky camerawork
contribute to this down-market vibe too. Omar's character compares well
to many fellow male performers, so it's with some disappointment that
I must conclude that Women's Anal Academy is not recommended.
DVD Comments
The picture quality on this disc is okay, but not brilliant, suffering
from a dark, grainy appearance. This could well be down to some poorly
lit original scenes, but it hardly looks like a quality production and
on occasion it's hard to see what is going on. The menu graphics are appalling,
featuring a really bad hand-drawn caricature of Omar. There's only a photo
gallery and some trailers in addition to the standard scene access menu,
so all in all it's a pretty tacky disc.
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