Bet Your Ass 3 Review
Evil Angel
Studio: Evil Angel
Category: Anal
Directed by: Jonni Darkko
Starring: Van Damage, Mark Ashley, Marie Luv, Flower Tucci, Keeani Lei, Tory Lane, Jasmine Byrne
Released on: 7/27/2005
Crucifixio Jones's ratings for this movie:
|
|
||||||||||||||||
Reviewed by Crucifixio Jones on 8/15/2005
|
Rip the fast-forward off your remote for now...you won‘t be needing it for this one |
|||||
  2005, 2 hours and 13 minutes Evil Angel Directed by Jonni Darkko Starring Tory Lane, Flower Tucci, Jasmine Byrne, Marie Luv, Keanni Lei  | |||||
| What You Should Know: | |||||
| In my opinion, the Bet Your Ass series is Jonni Darkko‘s bread and butter at Evil Angel. Sure, Angels of Debauchery is good and that first installment of Boob Bangers was PHENOMENAL but I have yet to see a misstep or miscalculation in the way Jonni has been assembling the casts for and putting together BYA. Each one has managed to be better than the last and not just a little. Each has sported an all-star cast from top to friggin‘ bottom and while they all share a name, that is where the similarities end. Each volume thus far has managed to create its own unique identity and while part of an anthology, stand on its own as a perfect piece of pornography in its own right. The latest joins the previous two in not only exceeding but flat-out shattering all of my expectations going in. | |||||
| Scene One: Tory Lane with Mark Ashley | |||||
 I‘ve always liked how Jonni seamlessly edits his opening credits into the intro for his first scene; it‘s not much but it‘s different and feels classier and more inspired than your typical gonzo opening credits sequence. It was in Darkko‘s Angels of Debauchery 2 where I first saw super hot Tory Lane and my how she has changed! Still every bit the hot and sophisticated mega-boobed Barbie doll (had Tory come along ten years ago, she‘d have been snatched up by Vivid post-haste, I‘m sure of it), now Tory‘s doing anal like there‘s no tomorrow and talking a blue streak through all of her scenes with her somewhat husky, deep and throaty voice. If you were to compare these two scenes, you might not believe it is the same girl. Today Lane is a woman without inhibitions, camera-shyness or physical boundaries. Which of course can only mean one thing -- she got married and has sworn off doing b/g scenes for the foreseeable future. This one ranks as one of her best, I‘m proud to report. Her outfit is smoking, her body is on point as always and she handles Mark Ashley‘s pink poker in her mouth, in her pussy and in her shitter like it was specially made to fit in her three orifices. After slobbing all over his pecker as if she were literally starved for it, she takes it balls deep vadge missionary and then fucks HERSELF silly with it doggie anal. There is nothing, however, like watching Tory pry her pussy apart, rub at her clit and lick her luscious lips as she rides some lucky stud reverse cowgirl anal while she occasionally tugs at her perfectly round and impossibly firm implants, taking her breath away and making her eyes disappear into her skull. “God dammit! Go ahead…DRILL ME!” she screams before begging for Ashley‘s cum “all over her pretty little face.” Tory couldn‘t be happier with her fresh face painting. She slurps at the head of Mark‘s cock and smiles until we fade to black. | |||||
| Scene Two: Flower Tucci with Mark Ashley | |||||
 After years of toiling in relative obscurity due to her exclusivity to Seymour Butts, Flower Tucci is now free and most definitely taking the gonzo world by storm. Wearing a neon green and hot pink fishnet get up, she‘s a blonde surfer-looking chick with a respectable rack but an ass that will go down in adult history with the greats. Yes, the spirit of Nina Hartley lives on in Flower’s derriere, even if Nina herself is STILL performing in the odd scene or two. If that‘s not enough, her squirting ability and enthusiasm for anal sex assuredly puts her over the top. She gorges herself on Mark Ashley‘s prick before he puts his female ejaculation techniques to the test, fingering Flower relentlessly until fluid comes pouring out of her pussy in every direction. The juices continue to fly when he stabs her pussy mish and bangs the head of his dick on her clit until she explodes, gushing all over the sofa and her inner thighs. Ashley simply rams his cock back in and goes right back to work. He pounds her vadge and anal until she springs a leak quite a few more times. As Mark rams her asshole, Flower pets her pussy until she ruptures a valve and wets the whole set. Ashley uses his dick on both her gash and her ass (back and forth without interruption) and Flower eagerly sucks her juices off of his tool before they move to doggie where her juices run down her quivering, thick thighs as Ashley rails her pussy and then her ass once again. What would A Flower Tucci Experience be without footage of her meaty tush bouncing in cowgirl? We get that and more of Ashley plowing both her ass and her pussy piledriver before he lets his own pipe burst all over Flower‘s face and in her mouth. She licks that ass-flavored prick clean and flicks her tongue over the head to end a wet, wet and sweaty romp. | |||||
| Scene Three: Jasmine Byrne with Mark Ashley | |||||
 Jonni must be very fond of Jasmine Byrne (Angels of Debauchery 4, also with Mark Ashley). And honestly, who can blame him? After seeing this scene I went out and bought an iPod. And yes, that’s 100% true. The opening tease sequence for this scene is the best advertisement for the Apple hardware I’ve yet to see. Bill Gates needs to holler at Darkko and watch his sales spike, especially in the latino market. I‘m struggling to understand how Jasmine isn‘t a bigger name in this business by now. She‘s only been around for about a year (could we see a Best New Starlet nomination for her this year?) but she‘s been on fire and a perennial fan-favorite since Day One. The crazy part is, she only gets hotter and even more sexually adventurous each time I see her. Have you seen her in 3rd Degree‘s “Swallow the Leader?” FIRE. Alicia Rio would be proud. After she chomps at Mark Ashley‘s schlong like a puppy with a new chew toy, Mark returns the favor by fingering and licking Byrne‘s fat, brown mound thick camel toe pussy until it‘s so wet it resembles a vending machine sticky bun. I hope I didn‘t just give someone the bright idea of sticking their dick in a warm honey bun. That is, unless it‘s attached to Jasmine Byrne. Mark fucks her pussy doggie to begin things and then eases his wick into her tight bung mish. I don‘t know why he‘s bothering to be gentle; I‘ve seen Jasmine do this a million times while she watches television and does her nails. This should be nothing. Violated doggie, Jasmine then decides to ride Ashley reverse cowgirl. He pulls out and jerks a nut up onto her stomach but they keep going, the spooge just providing extra anal lubrication. He finishes up with Jasmine vadge cowgirl and then hurls another rope of jizz at her face to end the scene. “Oooh, tastes so good. Thanks, baby!” Jasmine coos as she licks her fingers clean. | |||||
| Scene Four: Marie Luv with Mark Ashley | |||||
 If there were ever a modern day equivalent to the great, legendary Heather Hunter, Marie Luv would certainly be the closest thing working today. Marie wriggles her tight and lithe hard body out of her top and jumps her ass onto Ashley’s lap while she sucks deeply on her tits. She grinds on his crotch and gropes the lump in his shorts until he turns her around, bends her over and buries his face in her snatch. Marie’s got Ashley’s prick as hard as three-day old oatmeal now and she bobs her head on that veiny pink boner until mascara streaks her face and strings of saliva run down her six-pack abs. Lying back playing with her pussy, Luv spread her legs far apart and invites Ashly to “get this pussy” mish. “That cock looks so good going into my pussy,” she observes. There’s something about black girls that brings the beast out of Mark Ashley. I’ve never ever heard him say much to anyone ever but for some reason, he’s talking shit to Marie Luv today. And with good reason. He is wearing her black ass OUT. Her nails are FIRMLY entrenched in Mark’s back and she sounds more like she’s trying to pass a kidney stone than anything else. “Give me that good cock in my tight little asshole," she demands as she rides him cowgirl. Mark obliges standing doggie in front of a full-length wall mirror. Well, it is standing before Mark fucks a weakened Luv right down to her knees for some conventional up-and-over doggie. She lays his prick on her pierced tongue and lustily slurps down all the ass flavor before nestling back down on it reverse cowgirl anal and spoon. Luv, on her knees, swallows every drop of spunk that lands in her mouth and gives us a big wide smile. | |||||
| Scene Five: Keeani Lei with Van Damage | |||||
 I don‘t know how Van Damage came to be in this last scene instead of Mark Ashley (perhaps he was worn out? Look at the previous four ladies he had to do!) but I certainly would‘ve liked to seen him dig into Keeani Lei here. I‘ve seen Ashley straight WRECK undersized Asians (is Keeani even asian? She looks Pacific Islander to me) in the past (Kitty in Finally Legal 9) so it would’ve been a delight to see him tear through this Kobe Tai-alike today. As it is, we get Van Damage who doesn’t do a bad damn job. He preps Keeani (who, whether she is aware of it or not has joined a rather famous “family” of Asians whose name might be kind of hard to live up to -- Leanni, Lyla and Kaylani are tough fortune cookies to top) nicely, eating her ass and fingering her pussy before making her beg for his cock as she lies back to have her hole stretched mish. A sloppy blowjob follows with Van just fucking her face as Keeani lets the spit drip freely from her face and down to the floor while he runs his dick in and out, between her lips. She asks for her ass to be fucked next but reacts to it like Damage just shoved a red hot poker in there. After the initial shock and/or pain passes, Lei settles right in, fingering herself and talking about just how much she likes it while Van noisily pounds her crapper doggie. All the noise, however, isn’t coming from Damage but instead Keeani’s air-filled orifice. After another sloppy round of a2m head, Keeani is back on her back, having her vadge filled mish for a bit before she mounts Van’s speckled member reverse cowgirl anal. He pulls her legs into her armpits, locks his hands behind her head in a full-nelson and rocks her ass back and forth on his dirty cock ‘til he lets her suck it clean. Her tiny and pointy erect nipples can cut glass right about now or pick up Hot 97 in New York, I‘m certain of it. Submissive Lei ends this scene rubbing her clit frantically while Van drills her asshole piledriver until he empties pearly white droplets onto her upturned face, mouth, nose and neck. Keeani licks her lips and pushes some of the errant semen into her mouth with her fingers. Overall: Throughout this review, I‘ve liberally sprinkled some high praise on each of these scenes. I likened Tory Lane to the contract girls of Vivid‘s heyday, Flower‘s ass to that of Nina Hartley‘s, Jasmine Byrne to Alicia Rio, Marie Luv to Heather Hunter and even Keeani Lei to Kobe Tai. Every single comparison was deserved, believe it or not. You honestly owe it to yourself to see this movie as it might quite possibly be one of the better pieces of porno cross my television screen this year thus far. As of right now, it is definitely my favorite. There isn’t a scene included that you can’t rub one out to. There isn’t one chick here that you wouldn’t put on your arm and take out in public. And there isn’t one thing here that you’re ever going to feel like skipping. Do yourself a favor and don‘t miss it. Special Features:
|
Check Prices for Bet Your Ass 3
The opinions expressed in this review of Bet Your Ass 3 from Evil Angel are not necessarily the opinions of Adult DVD Talk. Adult DVD Talk provides a public forum for consumers to post their DVD reviews. Adult DVD Talk does not edit these reviews.