Bet Your Ass Review

Reviewed by Crucifixio Jones  on  11/30/2004

Bet Your Ass

2004, 2 hours 26 minutes
Evil Angel
Directed by Jonni Darkko

Starring: Katja Kassin, Katrina Kraven, Haley Paige, Sandra Romain and Dillan Lauren



The Knowledge:

After two installments of the great Angels of Debauchery I sure began miss to Anal Trainer. Don‘t get me wrong, I loved both AOD‘s but deep down inside I longed for that classy yet undeniably smutty gonzo that only Jonni Darkko can shoot. Fans of Anal Trainer, your wait is finally over. Bet Your Ass is a return to filthy form for our favorite auteur and photographer. Everything you loved about that series is here, right down to three casting returnees who have been in Anal Trainer movies before. While all the sex is well-shot and captured beautifully, all the performers are also looking and performing at their best, raising the stakes even higher. And now with Evil Angel's DVD authors at his back, there's simply no stopping JD. Not that the New Sensations DVDs were lacking in any way, but EA seems to know how to tailor their DVD releases to each individual director's personality and not just the uniform and overall feel of the entire company. While someone like Justin Slayer's menus and layout are more urban, Darkko's discs have all had a simple and elegant feel to them, complimenting his own personal shooting style perfectly. With EA and Darkko you know exactly what you're going to get: hot, nasty sex caught on video and presented the way it should be. Pretty porn. With BYA, Jonni ain't bluffin', he's got a hand capable of winning the whole damn pot.

The Action:

Katja Kassin
Darkko deals us our first card, the scorching red-headed hure Katja Kassin (who Darkko shot for his Anal Trainer 8) to begin our hand. Katja begins in what can only be described as an outfit that German maids might be forced to wear in a hedonist‘s heaven as she bakes cookies. She‘s soon topless and dips her nipples into the dough before gently placing the sheet into the oven. Darkko could‘ve fetched a pretty penny had he thought to auction off the finished product on eBay, I‘m guessing. Katja gets down on all fours and stares lovingly inside the oven, even giving the door a slow and seductive lick. Bored with waiting she begins to finger her own backdoor and even sticks a whisk in there. By the time Kassin is done shaking her ass and pulling her cheeks apart for our pleasure her baked goods are done. Zenza Raggi shows up just in time to taste a cookie…and Katja‘s heavenly body. He pays special attention to her backside, which in my estimation can be considered a “full house“ and gets more impressive each time I see it.

“Bring up the volume on your voices just a little bit,” we hear Darkko shout to Katja and Zenza as Raggi goes “all in” with four fingers in Katja’s bung after a little lube. That was awkward to hear direction given during the scene but oh well. Katja doesn’t seem to mind and in fact, is even more eager to play Hold’Em with her chosen stud. She undoes Raggi’s jeans and lets her lips do the wrap around on Zenza’s bankroll. She’s on it deep with her mouth and both hands are at work stroking it masterfully. Zenza, meanwhile, forces his cock to the back of her throat in an attempt to create a new air passage. Once her throat is sufficiently reamed, Katja parks herself atop Raggi’s dick cowgirl where Darkko captures amazing (what else can it be when it’s Katja we’re talking about?) footage of Kassin’s ass until Raggi penetrates Katja’s most sacred of holes. She rides him with even more intensity than before. Even without the focus being on her glorious backside, in reverse cowgirl Katja is still able to command your gaze. Her ass is razed by Raggi mish and sidesaddle next, Katja occasionally having her jaws stretched by his cock ass-to-mouth in between pulverizing positions. After an inspired doggie pounding, Zenza unloads onto Katja’s face and mouth and feeds her one of her cookies to chase the cum.



Katrina Kraven
On second street we get the extreme Katrina Kraven (Anal Trainer 6) who plays a supermodel to Mark Ashley‘s photographer. This isn‘t the most original set-up in porn but I can‘t say I‘m angry with where this is headed. Any scene with Katrina Kraven in it, to me, is worth watching and I guess I should thank my lucky stars that Kraven and Darkko both seem to enjoy working with one another, thus ensuring her many more of her trademark fast and furious appearances in his movies. Already in his three Evil Angel releases, she‘s been cast in two. Deciding to trade in his camera for a closer look at Katrina‘s pussy, Mark spits on and vigorously fingers her snatch and bung, making Kraven’s ass quake with bliss. It‘s so good she has to spank HERSELF. Never one to waste time, Ashley is soon balls deep and hammering away at Kraven‘s asshole doggie while he holds her hands behind her back. Nasty hardcore anal sex is where Katrina excels; I can‘t think of many more than a scant handful of starlets who genuinely enjoy having their asses straight-up obliterated by hard cock as much as Kraven. The woman is on a different plane, at a heightened sexual performance level compared to her peers when she‘s getting fucked really good and she‘s into the sex, which is 99.9% of the time. She shows the camera intensely and without shame just how much she really digs her work and she leaves everything on the “playing field“ as it were. That‘s what makes her special and one of my personal favorites.

Missionary and spoon anal (with plenty of ass-to-mouth in between) follow before the couple moves to reverse cowgirl anal which is notable for a number of reasons but most of all the camerawork and how it showcases Katrina‘s SOUL through her facial expressions. Show me a woman working today with sexier, more genuine and boner-inducing fuck faces and I‘ll show you a man who will quit reviewing porn TONIGHT. I just don‘t believe I‘ll ever find a woman not named Jeanna Fine, Anna Malle or Ashlyn Gere who can turn me on with just a bite of the lip, a slight snarl here or an all-out grimace there as much as Kraven. They are a rare breed, the ones that cum so hard they look as though they are about to cry. The clenched teeth and eyes rolling back in her head continue as Katrina rubs her clit hard with two fingers while Ashley rails her asshole in the spoon position with one of his hands under Kraven‘s leg and locked behind her neck in a half-nelson, sometimes around her throat. Mark pulls her up by her hair and jerks off over her open mouth while Kraven hovers below. Two more shooters enter and spray Katrina’s face with more cum to end yet another typically monster outing with Ms. Kraven.



Haley Paige
If you‘re not on the Haley bandwagon yet, it still not too late to jump on. Don‘t feel bad. I, too, was late to this particular boat, not hopping on until Photographic Mammaries 2 and Double Decker Sandwich 4 where she made me an instant fan with her floppy natural rack, superb oral skills and a God-given Gina Gershon-like mouth simply made for smoking pole. Jonni‘s shot her before (she was the cover girl for his Anal Trainer 8) but that does nothing to diminish the impact of this most recent reunion. Haley teases us in the nude in front of a mirror before donning an elegant evening gown and giving a much-abbreviated strip tease to Mark Ashley in another room. Paige shows off that cocksucking repartee I spoke of earlier here, first slowly teasing and sucking Mark‘s prick while kneeling between his legs and then finally submitting to an all-out force-fed gagging session. Mark tosses her onto the sofa and licks her pussy from behind and while she lies back before plunging his prick into her pussy missionary with her legs spread wide to accept him. I especially like the view of Ashley banging Haley captured from overhead, where we get to see the length of her entire body; her legs flailing, her tits bouncing and her face looking on in amazement and deep pleasure. Vaginal doggie quickly turns into anal doggie but if you had to guess by the look on Haley‘s face, you‘d hardly notice a difference; she enjoys each equally. The coup de grace in any scene featuring Haley (or anyone with breasts this naturally magnificent, for that matter) would have to be the reverse cowgirl footage and Haley does not disappoint. While being particularly generous with the ass-to-mouth head, Paige rides the tip of Ashley‘s dick as if her very life depended on it, lying back and closing her eyes, letting her boobs bob in the wind. In mish, Haley brings her legs together and pulls them into her chest while Mark continues to fuck her ass with reckless abandon. Soon, she lets her legs go and spreads wide, again making for some fantastic viewing of her entire body while she gets dicked hard by Mark until he‘s ready to pop on her chin and chest.



Sandra Romain
I remember there was a time when I wasn‘t big on foreign talent. I couldn‘t stand the influx of a seemingly endless stream of Euro girls who seemed to be nasty enough, sure, but were so non-descript and alike in their dirty performances one could hardly tell them apart. Not to mention, they changed stage names with nearly every movie they bothered to appear in. They were a porn fan‘s nightmare. And then I discovered Sandra Romain. Typical Euro talent body type but somehow nastier and more pro-active than her counterparts and Lord knows I can‘t resist a dark brunette. In just over a year’s time, Romain’s solidified her reputation as an aggressive, do-it-all import more than worthy of a second look. One look at her resume will reveal a host of DP’s, DAP’s, A2M, anal, facials and swallows in nearly everything she’s been a part of. Because of Sandra, I allowed my heart to open for the likes of Laura Lion, Angel Dark and believe it or not, yes the very blonde Jane Darling. In this scene, Sandra is looking better than I have ever seen her before (really, a hallmark of any Darkko production); she‘s bronzed and toned with her hair and makeup looking absolutely fabulous. Decked out in sheer black stockings and garters and a silk scarf around her neck, Romain forces a rather large flesh-colored dildo in and out of her ass for our pleasure. This is yet another woman who makes some very naturally sexy faces when she‘s in the act and there‘s just something about her that screams smoldering sensuality.

Mark Ashley is going to be the lucky man to find out exactly what‘s simmering under her surface today. Sandra sits blindfolded on a bed before Mark puts her hand on his cock and lets her mouth find its way to him all by herself. Romain goes straight to work bobbing her head up and down on his prick and damn near skinning his shaft with her fast stroking. When Mark‘s had enough, he bends Sandra over doggie to play with her pussy using her dildo. While he does this, he positions himself (more importantly his dick) next to Romain‘s mouth so she can continue to blow him, which she does to absolute and total perfection. Completely dispensing with the vaginal formalities, Mark targets Romain‘s most oft-used orifice, her asshole, doggie and wears her out while she calls out and moans in broken english. Often times when I get a new movie, I sometimes watch it once or twice so that I have my thoughts together (and I’m less inclined to get um…sidetracked) when I write. This is the only scene that I watched more than once (in fact, I watched it three times) before now and I‘m STILL tempted to whip out my crank and beat it to the footage of Mark giving Romain the business missionary. She‘s just sooo into it. It‘s really, really hot to watch. After giving Ashley more energetic head, Romain lies back on the edge of the bed and lets him fuck her face, burying his dick to the hilt in her mush and she relishes every second of it. From there they move to an anal spooning where Mark works up a considerable sweat ramming her bung like there‘s no tomorrow while he has at least three or four of his fingers in there at the same time, pulling it open even wider. In doggie again, Mark shoves Romain‘s dildo in her pussy while he fucks her ass and then switches places, putting the dildo in her ass while he fucks her pussy. Sandra‘s way beyond caring exactly what hole he‘s fucking anymore, I‘m sure. She just wants to be fucked. And fucked is exactly what she gets in the piledriver position, her asshole pried apart wide by Ashley and her legs pinned behind her head and to the floor by her own arms. “Make me to cum like this PLEASE…PLEASE…,” she begs. Mark obliges and then serves up a shooting orgasm of his own, right into her open mouth, while she twirls her tongue to catch the flying semen. Mark walks Romain over to a mirror by her hair and makes her kiss her reflection to end the scene.



Dillan Lauren
I‘ve been hearing a lot of hub bub about this Dillan Lauren since she hit the scene this year and since her scene has been saved for last, I‘ve got high hopes. She‘s definitely very pretty, gorgeous even. After her tease segment, we‘re shown Dillan, a lithe and wiry hard body much like Sandra Romain, playing Poker with Zenza Raggi. During the course of the game, Dillan literally “bets her ass“ and if she loses she has to fuck Zenza. I‘m sure I don‘t have to tell you the outcome.

Zenza worships Dillan’s ass, licking and fingering it before producing a glass butt plug to insert in it. Buttplug firmly in place, Lauren turns around to slurp on Raggi’s schlong, taking in huge mouthfuls and stroking it to maximum hardness. Zenza takes Dillan standing doggie first, her right leg raised high and her panties lowered ever-so-slightly, hanging just around her hips. Lauren grabs ahold of Raggi’s cock and stabs her ass with it a few times before putting it all the way in and rocking back on it while Zenza simply stands still and enjoys the ride. Dillan might be a newbie to porn but she more than knows how work that ass and pound a pud down to the dirt in cowgirl. The way she’s beating down Zenza’s dick with her ass it’s a wonder he can maintain. He barely escapes this position with his life (and seed) intact before moving to fucking Dillan’s ass sidesaddle and mish while sucking her toes. From there we hit the piledriver position, where Zenza fucks her facing her and away from her before firing a heat-seeking missile of a money shot past her face and then lands the rest squarely all over mouth. Dillan attacks his cock for clean up as we fade to the closing credits.



Extras:

A cumshot recap, photo gallery, cast list by scene, filmographies, websites and a 40-minute Behind the Scenes featurette which has a good amount of interview time with each of the female participants.

Comments:

Two words, Darkko: Royal Flush.

Crucifixio Jones