Barely Legal 45 Review

Reviewed by Tongue in Groove  on  4/24/2004

“Barely Legal #45” is the latest in a long line of successful Hustler videos from director Clive McLean. With any luck, this will be the end of the line.

Who can argue with success? I can. Granted this series has made a ton of money for Hustler, but speaking as a porn fan, I think it has been going downhill for over a year. The series continues to attract young talent, but recently the girls’ attractiveness has slipped noticeably.

For example, red-haired Katja opens things up with a couple parolees inside a biker bar. She looks right at home here with hardened looks and a huge tat on her right shoulder. If she is “barely legal,” the age of consent in her state must be 25. She romps with Marcos and Steve (based on their fake moaning, I’m guessing they are Euros) on a pool table with several people watching. Katja takes it up the arse, does a little DP, and finishes things off with a double facial.

Audrey Hollander is a curly-haired carrot-top with a ton of freckles. She has a cute, shaved pussy, and tats on her tailbone and pelvis region. She takes on Otto, a dude who wears shades and a cowboy hat in the house. Once he takes off the dumb hat, he sports unkempt, greasy hair in a sloppy ponytail. There’s also a huge insect tattoo on his stomach. Tough on the eyes! He gives her ass a good pounding, then a face frosting.

Scene Three offers us Kimberly Kane and Mark Ashley. She has blond hair cut in a shaggy dog style and pierced nipples on both her natural, medium breasts. She also has a major clit. They go through a basic four-position romp before Kimberly takes a load on her pearlies.

Tiffany, a semi-cute brunette, takes on Billy Glyde next. She has shoulder-length hair, tats on her right shoulder blade, ankle, and over her pubes, and medium, natural tits. Billy must like what he sees, because he comes on her tummy after a mish, then again later on her face.

Aspen, a dirty blonde with large, natural tits and a bald beaver, does the deed with Benjamin Brat next. They play around on a bed in an uninteresting scene ending in an open-mouthed cumshot.

The final credits roll before we find out there is a “Bonus Scene.” Which is interesting because they listed the scene in the opening credits, and cute brunette Sabrina is the cover girl on the box. Very strange! Anyway, once the camera leaves Sabrina's pretty face, we see a body so covered in tats that Julian must be jealous. After a too-brief BJ on James, he fucks her in a very short mish and supposedly comes inside her. We only know this because the omnipresent voiceover (another irritating factor in this series) tells us he did.

In the Behind the Scenes extra, Sabrina reveals that this is her first scene ever and that James is her real-life boyfriend.

I’d sure like to know the identity of the blonde who introduces each scene. She hides behind glasses, but has a great look. Note: It looks like she reads the same letter over and over, judging by the handwriting and envelope. Sloppy!

Not one of these girls would make anyone’s “A” list of performers, and most would be hard-pressed to make a “B.” This used to be a series filled with studettes - young, cute, nubile. Now it seems like a clearinghouse for motorcycle mamas and overly-inked strippers. Maybe it’s time to put this series out of its (and our) misery.