Bare Naked Review

Reviewed by vodka tonic  on  12/17/2005

Director : Paul Thomas
Videography : Ralph Parfait, Victoria Woodhill
Cast : Mercedez, Cherokee, Alexis Malone, Cassie Courtland, Taryn Thomas, Daphne Rosen, Nick Manning, Manuel Ferrara, Nick Jacobs
Running Time : 84 mins

DVD Extras : Chapter selection, positions room, photo gallery, behind-the-scenes, bonus clips, trailers, weblink, sex ads

Trailers : "The 6th Trick", "Extreme Close-Up : Lexie", "Bad Wives", "The Devil in Ms Jones"

5 Bonus Clips :
Mercedez, Lola & Nick Manning in "Bellisima"
Mercedez, Katsumi & Stephanie Swift in "Coming on Set"
Mercedez & Devon Michaels in "VIP 54"
Sky Fox & Bobby Vitale in "The Scent"
Felicia Fox & Randy Spears in "All There Is"

Behind-The-Scenes : Interesting interviews with the supporting female players, but surprisingly very few on Mercedez. Cherokee admits she fell in lust with Mercedez at 1st sight, Taryn tests Daphne's tightness, who looks like a fuller Jenny McCarthy, Alexis reveals she's a bit of a size queen. Some glamour shots of Mercedez, who doesn't seem enchanted with the idea of outdoor sex & mosquitoes. (17 mins)

The Pitch : An urban couple go at each other's throat during a camping week-end in the woods, then separate to find food, stumbling on their way on various other sexual adventurers.


WHO'S DOING WHO ?

1) ALEXIS MALONE & MANUEL FERRARA



In the 1st of a series of scenes that don't make sense at all, Mercedez, lost in the woods looking for her boyfriend, walks by a cabin where 2 lovers are groping quite assertively. Somewhere, somebody else is watching with a pair of binoculars, but he/she never re-appears. Alexis is wearing thongs and Campers, which is actually kind of sexy. She does a good meal of Manuel's dick, but it's a bit short (the segment, not Manuel’s appendage). At least she doesn't gag. Manuel keeps his tight khaki tee throughout, which is very sexy too, if you ask me. They go through doggie on the banister, cowgirl and reverse cowgirl, but the magic never happens. He spurts a good load on her chin.

2) TARYN THOMAS, DAPHNE ROSEN & NICK MANNING



On the other side of the woods, butch lesbian lovers Daphne & Taryn tickle their twat near a waterfall. The settings are rare enough, and both cuties look especially fetching in garish make-up & not much else. Sometimes, too much eye shadow is just the right amount.Taryn does acknowledge the camera, which I suppose works in gonzo but shouldn't be done in scripted porn. Daphne is a natural chunky delight, and though they overact throughout, it's a pretty good show. Then Nick Manning happens, and the gagging can begin. As previously stated, all in all the rough action is a bit overdone but it works. Both cuties interact very well and Daphne's squeals will enhance your pleasure. Nick drops a thick load on Daphne's tender belly.

3) MERCEDEZ & CHEROKEE



This is Mercedez at her worst. She stumbles upon a bimbo playing bongo by her tent and decides to indulge in a little lesbian fun. It's touchy-feely and very shy, a superb but incongruous glass dildo comes out of nowhere, you could swear it's slo-mo but it's not, really, when you hear Cherokee in the BTS stating that she's been in lust with Mercedez forever, you will find it hard to believe by this scene alone. Boring & mundane.

4) CASSIE COURTLAND & NICK JACOBS



Yummy, Nick Jacobs. Yee-aah, Cassie Courtland. This should be good. It's not. The improvised couple kisses tenderly on a rock cliff and the birds are tweeting all around and you may as well light a joint because this is not gonna rock your world. The doggy is filmed 2 inches from Cassie's rump, some may dig that, but a rump in close-up is like any other rump in close-up. They're both so sexy you will want to see their whole bodies, but no, it's a close-up borefest throughout. Notice the freckles on Nick's shaft. Spoon, cowgirl, and you finally see Cassie's lovely visage for the facial. It's too late, though.

5) MERCEDEZ & NICK MANNING



After those pointless drifts in the wood, Mercedez & her boyfriend finally stumble into each other again, all wet & wild from their earlier adventures. Mercedez lays her superb naked body on a rock to let Nick serenade her pussy. Excellent framework. After returning the favour, Nick pumps into her in missionary on this same rock, which must have been uncomfortable for the diva, but looks really good. They switch to doggy, then he comes another impressive load on her butt. Simple and efficient, mostly due to the beautiful surroundings, numerous full-body shots & good chemistry between Nina & Nick.


SO ? : In this day & age, any porn that doesn’t happen on a sofa should deserve a cheer of applause and be celebrated by our collective perverted minds, shrunk by nearly a decade of gonzo and just as many dangy fleece throws. It is only so unfortunate that Bare Naked’s only claim to fame is indeed its lovely outdoor settings, burdened by unimaginative camerawork, pay-day performances & a total lack of motivation. Not even worthy of a rental except if you have a Timberland fetish, this tape sends back to those bland Vivid productions from the 90’s, which apparently are still haunting an entire generation of porn fans as, justifiably, what porn shouldn’t be about, and in this particular case, I couldn’t agree more. Bring on the sofa.