Backdoor Men 2 Review

Reviewed by Feels So Right  on  2/17/2002

Another Metro compilation. Do I really need to elaborate? Okay, I will a little...

Running time: 118 minutes, 8 scenes.

Playstation 2 compatible? Yes.

Xbox compatible? Yes.

Features: Does "Play" count? If so, this baby's loaded! Nothing, not even crappy trailers for their other crappy DVDs.

The Stars: Let me preface this by saying that the cover to this disc out-and-out lies. The scenes depicted on the artwork are nowhere to be found on this disc, therefore I wouldn't take any names mentioned on it for granted. There are a few familiar faces, but God knows I can't remember who the hell they are. I'll just address them according to hair color/features/size.

Scene One: A short redhead and a brunet doff their pants the second the scene starts. There is some conversation, but it naturally makes no sense, since it's taken out of context. Honestly, it probably didn't make a lot of sense when it was IN context either. The redhead kisses and licks assorted bodyparts on his way down to the brunet's cock. A little sucking and ass rubbing occurs and it's the brunet's turn. He licks just about everything but the redhead's cock, even spending time on his thighs. He literally puts the redhead's dick in his mouth for ONE second before he grabs a condom and heads for the mountin', with the redhead on his back. He has a rather robotic quality to his thrusting which doesn't serve him well. They switch to doggystyle and he actually stops fucking and tells the redhead, "You made me lose my erection." What a fucking turn-off. We see this to be true, so the redhead tops him and he stays limp for the duration of the scene. They finish off with a mutual jerk, which concludes with rather unspectacular cumshots.

Scene Two: We see a semi-skanky guy with unkempt dirty blond hair spanking the hell out of a rather hot brunet's ass. The brunet sucks the blond guy with vigor and takes the full length of his cock in his mouth, while having his ass rendered an angry red. We then cut to a doggystyle fuck with the cute guy standing on the couch while the blond guy drills him. The cute guy is a rather aggressive bottom and at least seems to really like it, demanding to be fucked harder with each thrust, a nice change from the norm. The cute guy lies on his back while the blond keeps at it. When the cute guy finally comes, you can even see the veins on his forehead swell. The blond quickly follows, shooting most of his cum up past the cute guy's head.

Scene Three: A fluffy-haired painter (definitely a familiar face, as he was in a phone sex commercial featured on every damn Vivid Man compilation I've seen on VHS) and a so-so looking goateed man have a go at it. Once the painter's out of his pants, he uses his cock as his brush and the goateed man's tongue as his canvas. He crawls up over the goateed man's head for a little rimming and we suddenly cut to a close-up of them fucking in the very leather chair he was crawling all over. The painter tops in this scene, but the bizarre thing is that when we cut to a wider shot, they are shown humping on an office chair. They cut back and forth a few times with the same results, I started to suspect there was a stuntcock being used, but at one point, they finally are shown in a wider shot humping in the same chair as in the close shot. The goateed man turns around and when he comes, the painter's dick falls out of his ass and is all but completely flaccid (maybe that WAS a stuntock!). He doles out a boring little load and this nonsense is done.

Scene Four: This same scene is found in the "I Love A Man In Uniform" compilation, which I previously raked over the coals. It features a twink who's been pulled over by a cop and does everything within his power to get out of the ticket and then get off. In the other compilation, this scene had an overwhelming green tint to it. That's not the case here, luckily. However, I was so busy trying to avoid looking at the greenness of the scene the last time I saw it, I didn't notice that there is a LOT of recycled footage here to pad out the scene's length, and it's not even well-organized, as we go from blowing one another to fucking, to the cop blowing again, to fucking again. The crack epidemic is clearly getting out of hand.

Scene Five: Two guys bang at the office, which is apparently Price Hornyhouse. The blond guy blows the brunet, they switch. The brunet fucks the blond doggystyle, then lies down to take it like a man from the blond. They both dispatch their spooge on the brunet.

Scene Six: Good God, where did they dig this up? A couple of homely cowboys (well, I assume they are, judging by the cowboy hats and cowskulls that permeate the set) round up some tadpoles. One's a big haired blond, and one's a redhead. The only noteworthy thing here is that it's a bareback scene, which is made all the more clear when the blond guy pulls out and immediately blows his wad on the redhead's ass. And I thought the dead animal decorations were un-PC.

Scene Seven: Okay, this is probably the best scene here, in my opinion. Two boxers decide to make love, not war. Our dark-haired stud in the red shorts pulls no punches, but he does pull down the blond guy's green trunks and rims his ass like there's no tomorrow. He buries every bit of his face he can fit up that crack, eventually taking the guy's shorts off the rest of the way and forcing him down to the mat. He continues the tongue lashing and adds a blowjob to the agenda. They move over to a stool, where the blond eventually breaks free and returns the favor. Mr. Red balances himself on the stool with his legs to the sky while Mr. Green pumps inside him. They soon switch to doggystyle and finally are down for the count, splattering jizz all over the mat.

Scene Eight: Our final scene features two blonds, one with big hair, and one with longer hair. They're sitting on opposite sides of a fireplace rubbing themselves in their underwear. The big haired blond makes the first move by offering to play a game of "I'll-show-you-mine-if-you-suck-it-like-a-bitch." The game continues with each taking a turn. There's a little ass play in front of the fire (which just doesn't seem safe), before the big haired blond takes on the longer haired blond doggystyle and then lying on his back. The chestnuts were apparently not roasted by the fire, as evidenced by the manly dispatch each serves up, thus concluding our DVD.

Each of the scenes presented comes from a different release, therefore, the quality from scene-to-scene. Essentially, it goes from VHS quality down to something that looks like it was filmed through a fishtank...filled with piss...and dirt...and, well you get the idea. The audio varies in proportion with the video. All in all, there are a couple of scenes that are decent, so you shouldn't totally avoid it, but I wouldn't make it a top priority, either.