Atilla The Hun Review

Reviewed by Joe Shaver  on  7/7/2002

This film is another super example of Steven Cadro’s desire to turn gay porn into high art. The film features many of Cadro’s cadre of humpy, hung Hungarians including my favorite who appeared with Kristen Bjorn as Sergei Jordanov and appears in others under a variety of names including, as he does here, as “Tom of Hunland”.

There is a plot. Two young entrepreneurs Vad Gabor and Bob Boxer are hired to find a sword once belonging to the great Attila. Vad, whose name is inverted in the credits as Gabor Vad (in the Hungarian fashion), is an attractive blond with a slightly muscular build and a not so slight cock...in fact, a very BIG cock. Bob, whose name is obviously a name chosen for film as he is the most Hungarian looking guy here, is also blond, with a swimmer’s build and perky nipples. Our young, hung heroes begin in Budapest and move on to Vienna where they are to pick up the commission to find the grave of Attila the Hun and get the magical sword which was buried with him. While in Vienna they observe three hunky dancers, Jimmy, Misha, and Tom of Hunland in what appears to be a real show with a mixed audience. After the show they go with Tom to meet the boss, Tomi Barna. Bob is told to wait outside to keep watch as Vad and Tom go in to talk to the “boss” (listed in the end credits as “gangster”). Naturally all have sex. Tom enjoys rimming Vad’s smoothly shaven ass with its rosebud anus. (And who wouldn’t? God but it’s pretty!) Vad is then middleman for both hunks, sucking one as the other is fucking him. Then vice-versa.

From there, we move on to Bratislava where the antique dealer/art collector financing the expedition is a very handsome young man (Andreas von Stahl) who feels he cannot do business with anyone unless he is “sexually compatible”. Our other hero, Bob, is quite willing to satisfy this requirement as Vad now keeps watch outside. After mutual fellatio, Andreas fucks Bob. (“Even nice young men who sell antiques do it,” as Noel Coward once quipped.)

Next we find our guys riding double on a motorcycle along a busy highway until they arrive at the River Tisza and the Lake where they must continue the journey by boat. Their frisky play on deck leads to mutual arousal; and stripping off their clothes Vad and Bob proceed to have sex with one another. As he sucks Bob, Vad’s huge stiffy bounces about frantically in the air. (Oh, oh, I have to pause here and clean up.) Continuing with the scene, I was somewhat disappointed to see it is Bob who fucks Vad. Yet who could resist that beautiful shaven rosebud sphincter? (Was a cock of that size too big for our Bob? Vad doesn't get to fuck anyone in this film. I'll volunteer for your next one, Vad!))

This activity gets the captain and his mate as horny as it does me, so they begin to make out while I can only squirt on some more lube. The captain is Tibor Dobo, Cadro’s favorite performer, a beautiful blond with the body of a Greek statue and a cock that is found only on the whorehouse murals in Pompeii. The mate, Ari, is the recipient of this symbol of Priapus. In this, as in all of the scenes, Cadro always shows us the cock entering the fuckee’s ass for the fuck. This director knows that is one of the hottest (if not the hottest) sights in porn. I only wish all directors knew this instead of showing us a fuck already in progress!

Vad and Bob now arrive at the treasure site in two canoes with four diggers who begin to dig for the sword. After a while these four break off from work to strip and go for a swim. We later learn they are Gary Miles, Akos, Huba, and Szkattila. Gary, the only guy in the video who is uncut, must be a lucky American that wandered into this shoot. He has a great bod and a light mustache and goatee. (He can wander in anytime!) The other three are also quite stunning. One, a slender blond twink, seems to particular enjoy being fucked as they pair up for this break-time activity.

Returning to digging, they find the sword just as the gangster boss, Tomi, arrives. As Tomi waves the sword aloft in jubilation, the spirit of Attila, Chris Baracque, appears wearing only a breastplate. The others flee in panic, but Tomi can certainly see that the sword between Attila’s legs is far more desirable than the one he has in his hand. What a weapon! It makes Tibor Dobo’s look small in comparison. Attila snatches the sword from Tomi and plunges it into the ground. He then plunges his flesh sword into Tomi. After many deep repeated stabbings, both cum. Our last glimpse of Attila is of him lying in the dug grave with both his swords, as the earth covers him and he vanishes. What a great expedition this was.

This was a very ambitious film with many shooting locations.We are treated to the great scenery of all of these locales. But none compares with the natural (foreskin intact) “scenery” provided by these amazing specimens of manhood. All are incredibly beautiful; and the sex, though not always as passionate as one might like, is enough to get one going without Viagra.

The extras on this DVD are splendidly generous. In addition to the usual chapter choice, there is a “Performer Picture Gallery” where one can click on each of the actor’s faces to see stills of him in his scene or scenes. There is a documentary on Gay Hungary for those of us who now want to save up money and go; and, of course, previews of Cadro’s other videos to show us what we cannot live without any longer.

Although Attila is spelled correctly in the film itself, the packaging labels it as “Atilla the Hun”. This is because most Americans pronounce the name “uh TILL uh” instead of “AT ti luh”. But just as a rose by any other name is still as sweet, so is this film, what ever you call it, VERY BEAUTIFUL AND HOT!