Ass Clowns 2 Review
Extreme Associates
dumblonde's ratings for this movie:
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Reviewed by dumblonde on 2/21/2002
Writer/Director: Thomas Zupko
Videographers: GlennBaren, Derek Newblood, Francois Clousot
Running length: 2 hrs
D.O.P. 1/15/01
Female cast: Michelle Raven, Kiki Dare, Kitten, Krista Leigh, Vanessa Blue, Kitten, Kerri Starr
Male cast: Friday, Luciano, Brian Surewood, Tyce Bune, Mickey G, Hitman, Mr. Pete, Claudio, Asshole Andy, Jake Lawless
Audio/Video: It varied from scene to scene - too bright at times and some shadows, but in general was mediocre. At one point the screen just went black. That was the best part.
Extras: 20 trailers, 1 bonus blowjob scene with Krysti Myst and several guys, photo gallery that looks like they were taken with a cheap Polaroid camera. No bios or cast ID, and most of the performers I wasn't familar with.
Condoms: I don't think so.
The Movie:
Take a 12 year old boy, give him brain damage, 20 years or so, a video camera and a couple of eight-balls, and this is probably what he'd come up with.
Viewing this piece of shit brought back memories of the 6th grade. You know, that awkward stage when the boys still hated the girls, yet were starting to have nasty thoughts about us. This caused such a conflict, the only way they knew of to show their interest was to act stupid, punch, kick, or even stab us. And we kinda understood....then.
My body still bears the mark of Billy Holder's ardor, when he held me down and gouged me with a #2 pencil, leaving behind a 3/8" piece of lead as a token of his affection. To this day it remains right under the skin and looks like a tattoo. Hopefully, Billy has outgrown this stage and learned how to relate to the opposite sex in ways that don't include sharp objects - some, obviously, never did.
To my loyal readers (well, I hear from at least 4 or 5 on a semi-regular basis) please don't think I've become so jaded that I'm actually starting to enjoy crap like this, nor am I doing it just for laughs. I assure you, despite all the clown makeup and costuming, there was little to laugh at. I'm doing it because I opened my big mouth, frankly, and have to back it up, otherwise I never would have had to watch the remainder of this title. So let's get it over with.
Mickey G kicks things off playing a drunken Santa Claus (gee, THAT'S original) who buttfucks this chick dressed as a reindeer. Twice he takes a big swig out of his bottle and hurls on her. Haa haa, this was so funny I forgot to laugh. So far, I'm less than impressed with 'The Mind of Thomas Zupko'.
Another scene involved Brian Surewood dressed as a clown and carrying a rubber chicken. That's it. That's supposed to be funny. A rubber chicken CAN be funny, but you have to do something with the dang chicken besides hold it. Try choking the chicken instead of the girls, now THAT would have been hilarious! Cynical, perverted clowns can be a riot, but these clowns are about as funny as John Wayne Gacy.
Yet another scene had Surewood brandishing a gun and portraying (?) a Southern retard. Dueling Banjoes playing in the background was very appropriate, as he and his buddy had their way with a somewhat hefty unfortunate female. This scene seemed to go on and on, and the guy's endless whooping and hollering was as annoying to me as it was to the girl. Plus, I'm not fully convinced he's just acting here.
The scenes are broken up by another stupid clown who abuses a girl by rubbing shit on her face, pukes on her, and calls her every vile name under the sun.
Despite the enticing tagline that promises you will see "these cunts get their assholes shredded like raw hamburger", if that was indeed a selling point, you too will be disappointed, as this is blatant false advertising. The actual sex acts, once underway, are pretty standard. There's 2 DP's, and a shitload of buttsex for you fans. I just can't help but think that Zupko must be clueless about how to build up to that, and so he goes with all this dumb stuff. Yes, the females are all shown being degraded, vomited on, slapped around, etc., but the reaction I had was that it was just so stupid and juvenile. Kinda like 'Pro Wrestling'. There's nothing shocking here, these chicks aren't even really being slapped, it's just a sideshow. I doubt if even fans of 'rough sex' would find much to get excited about.
I can see maybe adolescent boys into the whole wrestling mentality going for this, for shock value, but for wank material? If you can get off to this, you probably should be IN porn, not watching it.
Sigh. I forgave Billy Holder a long time ago, but for Thomas Zupko I've just got three words: grow up already.
SCREENSHOTS of Ass Clowns #2
questions or comments?
e- mail: dumblonde@my.adultdvdtalk.com
other reviews & screenshots by dumblonde
Videographers: GlennBaren, Derek Newblood, Francois Clousot
Running length: 2 hrs
D.O.P. 1/15/01
Female cast: Michelle Raven, Kiki Dare, Kitten, Krista Leigh, Vanessa Blue, Kitten, Kerri Starr
Male cast: Friday, Luciano, Brian Surewood, Tyce Bune, Mickey G, Hitman, Mr. Pete, Claudio, Asshole Andy, Jake Lawless
Audio/Video: It varied from scene to scene - too bright at times and some shadows, but in general was mediocre. At one point the screen just went black. That was the best part.
Extras: 20 trailers, 1 bonus blowjob scene with Krysti Myst and several guys, photo gallery that looks like they were taken with a cheap Polaroid camera. No bios or cast ID, and most of the performers I wasn't familar with.
Condoms: I don't think so.
The Movie:
Take a 12 year old boy, give him brain damage, 20 years or so, a video camera and a couple of eight-balls, and this is probably what he'd come up with.
Viewing this piece of shit brought back memories of the 6th grade. You know, that awkward stage when the boys still hated the girls, yet were starting to have nasty thoughts about us. This caused such a conflict, the only way they knew of to show their interest was to act stupid, punch, kick, or even stab us. And we kinda understood....then.
My body still bears the mark of Billy Holder's ardor, when he held me down and gouged me with a #2 pencil, leaving behind a 3/8" piece of lead as a token of his affection. To this day it remains right under the skin and looks like a tattoo. Hopefully, Billy has outgrown this stage and learned how to relate to the opposite sex in ways that don't include sharp objects - some, obviously, never did.
To my loyal readers (well, I hear from at least 4 or 5 on a semi-regular basis) please don't think I've become so jaded that I'm actually starting to enjoy crap like this, nor am I doing it just for laughs. I assure you, despite all the clown makeup and costuming, there was little to laugh at. I'm doing it because I opened my big mouth, frankly, and have to back it up, otherwise I never would have had to watch the remainder of this title. So let's get it over with.
Mickey G kicks things off playing a drunken Santa Claus (gee, THAT'S original) who buttfucks this chick dressed as a reindeer. Twice he takes a big swig out of his bottle and hurls on her. Haa haa, this was so funny I forgot to laugh. So far, I'm less than impressed with 'The Mind of Thomas Zupko'.
Another scene involved Brian Surewood dressed as a clown and carrying a rubber chicken. That's it. That's supposed to be funny. A rubber chicken CAN be funny, but you have to do something with the dang chicken besides hold it. Try choking the chicken instead of the girls, now THAT would have been hilarious! Cynical, perverted clowns can be a riot, but these clowns are about as funny as John Wayne Gacy.
Yet another scene had Surewood brandishing a gun and portraying (?) a Southern retard. Dueling Banjoes playing in the background was very appropriate, as he and his buddy had their way with a somewhat hefty unfortunate female. This scene seemed to go on and on, and the guy's endless whooping and hollering was as annoying to me as it was to the girl. Plus, I'm not fully convinced he's just acting here.
The scenes are broken up by another stupid clown who abuses a girl by rubbing shit on her face, pukes on her, and calls her every vile name under the sun.
Despite the enticing tagline that promises you will see "these cunts get their assholes shredded like raw hamburger", if that was indeed a selling point, you too will be disappointed, as this is blatant false advertising. The actual sex acts, once underway, are pretty standard. There's 2 DP's, and a shitload of buttsex for you fans. I just can't help but think that Zupko must be clueless about how to build up to that, and so he goes with all this dumb stuff. Yes, the females are all shown being degraded, vomited on, slapped around, etc., but the reaction I had was that it was just so stupid and juvenile. Kinda like 'Pro Wrestling'. There's nothing shocking here, these chicks aren't even really being slapped, it's just a sideshow. I doubt if even fans of 'rough sex' would find much to get excited about.
I can see maybe adolescent boys into the whole wrestling mentality going for this, for shock value, but for wank material? If you can get off to this, you probably should be IN porn, not watching it.
Sigh. I forgave Billy Holder a long time ago, but for Thomas Zupko I've just got three words: grow up already.
SCREENSHOTS of Ass Clowns #2
questions or comments?
e- mail: dumblonde@my.adultdvdtalk.com
other reviews & screenshots by dumblonde
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The opinions expressed in this review of Ass Clowns 2 from Extreme Associates are not necessarily the opinions of Adult DVD Talk. Adult DVD Talk provides a public forum for consumers to post their DVD reviews. Adult DVD Talk does not edit these reviews.