Apple Bottom Cuties 2 Review

Reviewed by Sean Renaud  on  10/16/2014

Heading In: I’ve never heard of Big Booty Pictures before and being honest I’ve gotten to the point with reviewing porn that anytime I don’t recognize the game I automatically assume that this is yet another case of some guys who found out they can pay for sex. Sometimes I’m pleasantly proven wrong but it’s nice to go into a situation with lowered expectations.

Scene 1: Rachel Milan
Rachel Milan is a cutie, short dark hair, smallish tits (not even a handful) and a cute little butt packed into her yellow and white polka dot bikini. Personally I like my women a little bustier than her but she almost makes up for it by being an enthusiastic little thing. And it’s really cute that she manages to keep the top on the entire scene. You get all the expected positions, mish, cowgirl, reverse, and doggy. I’m not a fan of the little cumshot on her twat but whatever it’s not a game ender.

In the end this is a fairly average scene. Nothing wrong with it but it’s hard to tell people that this is the reason you should watch this.

Scene 2: Zenya Lai
I admit I’m a sucker for Asian chicks so I might be over selling it when I say that Zenya is a sexy little piece of ass. Cute little tits and an amazing smile. It sounds like an odd thing to mention in a porn review but it’s there because it is a distractingly pretty smile. She’s also got a clit ring. It’s been a while since I saw any gonzo style porn, I thought that had died a painful death a few years back. So it’s been a while since I had to say this. Dear cameraman. Shut the hell up. I do not need running commentary on what a cute little cock sucker she is. She is adorable but if guy is going to be talking dirty in my porn it better be the guy who’s getting fucked. Other than that there isn’t anything wrong with the scene but having a talking camera man is just a pet peeve of mine and no amount of adorable cock sucking Asian girl really gets me past that hurdle. The cum shot is nice even it takes her a little too long to coax it out of her stunt cock.

In the end if you don’t mind gonzo porn, and I didn’t once upon a time. Hell once upon a time I thought that made it even better since the girls weren’t trying to pretend they weren’t in a porn then this might not bug you. Zenya is a hottie and this was one of her first scenes and I hope to see more of her but ultimately GODDAMN TALKING CAMERA MAN!

Scene 3: Ashlynn Brooke
Ashlynn Brook is a sexy lil blonde cut from that porno factory. I love big tits blondes with kind of innocent faces but if you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all. She starts us out with a short tease and then on to the cock sucking. She goes at it too and tan lines. I don’t think I’ve seen tanlines (that weren’t very deliberate) on a woman since I was a kid, wow. You get the regular positions in the scene, but then you get a personal favorite of mine the piledriver. I don’t know what it is about an inverted woman looking up and helpless as some man pounds her cunt but damned it that isn’t the best thing in the world. She takes a nice facial as well to end the scene.

In the end there is a problem with this scene. Whoever filmed it didn’t know how their sound equipment worked so there is this annoying half 2, half washed out sound to the end scene and it’s really hard to ignore.

Scene 4: Kristina Rose (Reviewer’s choice!)
Kristina Rose is an adorable school girl in her blue top, matching plaid skirt, knee high socks. Her step daddy kept her home from school to watch porn with Kristina. She starts out pretending she’d disgusted by the idea but she can’t keep it up for long before she’s teasing and telling him that she could do better than the girls on the screen. If Kristina Rose gets on her knees and asks you to play a game you say yes. Kristina is undoubtedly one of the best in the business boasting about her had game while giving it. There is a bit of mutual masturbation part that breaks up the action. If I could just SKIP like in a normal film I would but. . .well more on that later. The action is good but what really sells it is the dirty talk. Kristina might be carrying the scene on her pert backside but it takes two to banter and her stunt cock plays into her little girl routine like the veteran he is. If you would deny Kristina when she asked you to tuck her in at night well sir we would have nothing else to talk about. There is a reason she’s the cover girl.

In the end I have to say that there does come a point when you are too old and fugly to be a goddamn porn stud. I don’t know what this guy’s name is but he is distractingly ugly, he should really go on the walking dead. He does his part as well as keeping up the dirty talk with Kristina but damn.

Scene 5: Lanza III
Lanza III is a sexy piece of work, dark haired, exotic with a pig tail and great bottom. She’s also our interracial girl as she takes on the one black cock in the flick. Lanza is fun to watch, decent energy, lots of oral and she takes a beating like a drum. Even gets a pile driver but it’s a bit much for her with the BBC she got partnerened up with and has to call it to a stop a bit early before he ripped her in two.

Heading Out: It seems like these scenes were all pulled from different movies and glued together. It’s hard to recommend the film just based on the fact that it’s a little schizo. The first scene seems like fairly standard porn, a little emusic, a little tease wham bam thank you ma’am. The second scene is 2006 style gonzo with a camera man who will not shut up. The fourth is an incredibly hot skit that belongs on a DVD called “Me and Daddy”. There isn’t a lot of emphasis put on the girls asses either and if you’re gonna call a movie Apple Bottom Cuties I expect to see some emphasis on the backsides of the lovely ladies.

Having said all that there are much worse porn that I’ve seen and Kristina Rose all by her lonesome damn near makes this worth a rental. Hopefully one day when people are gluing together a best of DVD for her this will make the cut.

Extras: They didn’t forget to give us a cum shot gallery, not that I’m certain that I would have bothered since none of the cum shot really stand out as truly fantastic. There is also a photo gallery to round it out but no trailers. What truly stands out in this flick are the things that should be here and are missing. If you’re not going to label the scenes with the girl’s name at least make sure the pic has a nice shot of her face so I know who I’m skipping to. While we’re speaking of skipping this isn’t 2002 anymore, you should have chapter breaks if not for every position the girl takes at least peppered around so I can skip to the part of the scene I want to see instead of fast forwarding like it’s a damn VHS. I have to dock points for such egregious oversights.