Apartments Review

Reviewed by Joe Shaver  on  8/31/2003

Michael Lucas and his lover Carlos Aguirre can’t sleep because a new tenant has moved into their apartment building and appears to be having non-stop sex. The sounds of which are keeping Michael awake. Michael who is director as well as performer is a very sexy guy with an awesome endowment who was born in Russia and after appearing with Falcon and other studios eventually established his own company that operates from NYC. His films generally consist of handsome ethnic types who are in their twenties, handsome, masculine, hung, and sexually adept. Although the occasional twink appears from time to time. Carlos is good example of the Lucas type: very handsome, Latino, and—as we shall see—able take all that Michael’ has to offer. Carlos believes that if you can’t lick ‘em, join ‘em so he begins making out with Michael to drown out the noise from the other apartment. He sucks that incredible cock as Michael takes a few sucks on Carlos’ toes. Finally, that heat-seeking Russian missile finds its target in Carlos’ ass. Michael cums twice in this scene—his second being a veritable gusher.

We now meet two other newcomers to the building, Rick Gonzales and Damion. A rumpled sofa bed awaits them and they decide to make use of it. Rick strips Damion and himself and they squirm about on the rumpled sheets while kissing feverishly. A very nice sixty-nine segues into Damion eating Rick's ass. Rick then sits down on Damion’s uncut dick. After a time they switch roles and Rick’s’ brown cock slides into Damion’s ivory butt. Rick pulls out only long enough for Damion to lie on his back and take it in that position. Damion cums while being fucked and samples his own spending. Damion is a great new addition to the Lucas stable. Incredibly handsome, he is also quite uninhibited and extremely versatile. I hope Lucas will use him in many more features.

In the director’s cut, which was the version I watched, Rick pisses on Damion’s belly, but 95% of it lands on the sofa bed. I hope it had rubber sheets.

In the next scene we meet the noisy neighbor, Antonio Vela, who is about to initiate a threesome that includes the beautiful Marco Rochelle, who is becoming a welcome regular in Lucas’ films. The other member of the ménage is Mario Ortiz, a well-built Latino with a mustache and goatee. Already barefoot and shirtless they get out of their remaining clothes, bringing their stiff cocks into the light of day. These three sizable appendages soon disappear in various mouths and asses. Note: Directors should show us who is about to fuck and who is about to get fucked before showing us a close-up of a cock in a hole. But when we see an anonymous cock entering an anonymous hole, we are taken somewhat out of the scene. Whose cock? Whose hole? Oh, it’s Marco fucking Mario. Someone is sitting on Mario’s dick. Who is it? Oh, it’s Marco! We can’t get the full erotic effect of a scene when questions are raised instead of dicks. But, everyone eventually gets to be lucky Pierre, or the meat in a flesh sandwich, before Vela is spattered with cum.

Michael is now trying to get the other tenants to sign a petition to get rid of Antonio but none will sign. They're not bothered by his sexcapades. In fact, as we see in the next scene, one has decided to join him. Rick Gonzales from scene two is with Antonio in the apartment along with David, a nice young bear and Polo McCabe, a gorgeous young honey-colored Afro-American with a shaved head. There’s too much going on to give a blow-by-blow account, but mention must certainly be made of the daisy chain rimming. We cut to the fucks in progress. Come on, Michael, show us the entry! Rick fucks Polo while Antonio fucks David. Some switching around would have given this more zest, but they stay with their original partners. All cum in Polo’s mouth! Hot, man, hot! [The director’s cut features another pissing scene. It’s very stagy and they just piss. It’s NOT watersports. Had they pissed in Polo’s mouth, that’s watersport. This is just plain old urination. The Trevi Fountain is ten times more erotic!]

Michael and his lover moved and their apartment is taken over by tall Danny Hunter and his lover, Jony Kfir—the film’s twink. The sounds coming from Antonio’s apartment only put them in the mood and Danny puts down his book for a more enjoyable activity in bed. Danny is slender with a dusting of hair on his chest and belly and a cock that will not quit. My Gawd, what a piece of meat! When little Jony starts sucking on that colossal priapic pylon, it’s like a Lilliputian giving a blowjob to Gulliver. He has no trouble, however, with Danny’s long slender toes. And things really heat up when Jony begins to eat out Danny’s ass while Danny sucks his own dick. Jony may not be able too swallow Danny’s monument to manhood, but he’s able to take it in another place. His sits down on the post and rides before Danny maneuvers him onto his back and plows him in the missionary position. This is a super scene and director Lucas has wisely saved the best for last. The director's cut features a pissing scene in the shower as annoying flashbulbs pop like mad. Gee, haven’t they ever seen guys urinate before?

Extras include a “Behind the Scenes” with bloopers and bits of Lucas directing; and a “Meet the Cast” with Michael interviewing newcomers David and Polo in the company of Rick and Antonio before their foursome scene.

To put it bluntly, the so-called watersports scenes are piss-poor. And, as I mentioned above, none of them are watersports scenes anyway. They are just scenes of urination. Lucas needs to examine some true watersports films to see what this fetish is all about.

So take my advice and take the cheaper route away from the director’s cut.

That said, in summing up the film one must say that it is not up to the level of Lucas’ superb Fire Island Quartet. Nevertheless, although it may be lesser Lucas, it is still a hot film and far better than most of the stuff out there. A must for Lucas fans (of whom I am one) and well worth a gander for everyone else.