American Cocksucking Championship 9, The Review

The American Cocksucking Championship #9

Feline Films (distributed by Legend)
Running Time: 1 hour 15 minutes

Synopsis

- two blowjobs competitions inside a boxing ring
- repetitive oral

There are some individuals that say pornography leads to violence.  I'm not sure if all pornography does or if that is even true, but this is the first flick that actually made me angry enough to almost throw stuff. 

The first bad mark was the three minutes of phone sex ads at the start of the disc that you are captive to.  I tried a couple different players and even my hacked import player could not fast forward or bypass this shit.  That is pure bullshit.  Put a fucking entry in the menu for people that want their phone sex.  Does ANYBODY use phone sex anymore?  I tried loading the DVD into a computer but it assumed I was stupid or something by auto-loading it's own DVD player (and who knows what else) then causing a crash on my XP machine.  Nice going, dipshits.

Scene 1 - Candy Cotton versus Tiffany Mason with about eight guys

It takes a good seven minutes or so to get these two broads into the ring, most of that due to introductions and meaningless interviews.  Who really wants to sit through Dave Hardman's introduction into the ring, please.  At the 11:00 minute mark we finally get some action.  Candy Cotton is a blonde with big, bolt-on breasts who manages to look like a bombshell at some points and questionable at others.  Tiffany is a cute brunette with a proportioned body.  There are actually three sequences with breaks (the girls get cleaned up, etc) between them. There are some good shots of Candy deep-throating and really working the cocks around her, but two things just ruin everything for me.  First, there are two guys doing commentary and it's just awful.  How hard would it have been to dig up some ex WCW wrestling announcer?  Scratch that, how hard would it have been to just to shut the hell up.  I don't need to be told Candy is really working that dick in her mouth - I can see it in front of me.  Most annoying though, was the editing.  As soon as it looked like Candy or Tiffany was going to deep-throat or do something really hot, the camera switches to the other girl.  I'm yelling "no, no, no, go back you asshole" at my television to no avail.  They do this over and over again until I what to throw things.  The scene ends with pop-shots, a couple decent ones but considering the number of guys present it should have been messier and could have done without the "set plays" like the "long distance cum-shot" and assorted crap.  Winner?  Nobody said anything but Candy was clearly dominant in skills and effort.

Scene 2 - Aurora Snow versus Cheryll with about eight guys

Aurora is a skinny blonde nymph and Cheryll is an older but acceptable looking brunette.  Both do decent oral on the guys. As with the first scene, there are three sequences ending with mostly oral and mostly disappointing cum-shots. Nothing really stands out. If I have to say anything, it would be that Aurora Snow looks fifty times better with her hair down or in a pony-tail, not up in the "bun" like in this flick.

The DVD

Audio quality – good
Video quality - acceptable
Extras – I forget.

Summary

A waste of a rental in my opinion.  The movie was more annoying than erotic.

Rating: one out of five stars