All About Kagney Linn Karter Review

Reviewed by Rosco Fuji  on  5/16/2011

I was wrong, I admit it! While All About Kagney Linn Karter from 3rd Degree delivers the promised I/R and anal scenes that I said would never happen, the problem with watching the heavily hyped release is that the finished product has to knock the wind out of you like a shot to the solar plexus or it immediately becomes average at best. When news of this release first started to trickle out that it’d be a KLK extravaganza, the mind wanders along the lines of E is for Eva, G is for Gianna, or Asa Akira is Insatiable. Unfortunately, this is more like A is for Average or M is Mediocre.

Anal scene commentary: When the term “Contract Anal” is tossed around versus “I’m an anal slut” one shouldn’t get their hopes up too high. This is particularly true for this “event” release. This is an anal scene performed by someone who’s just there to do it and it’s clear she’s not into it at all. For about 98% of the anal portion of the scene, Kagney is just there. The other 2% is when she’s rubbing her pussy while getting prepped by the toys or upon immediate anal penetration. There is no movement at all on her part and penetration is kept to an inch or two on all thrusts. Anyone looking for a balls deep penetration will be sorely disappointed. At one point during a break between vag and anal, the look on her face clearly says, “Are we done yet?” or “let’s get this over with already!” And speaking of penetration, at no point do we have any close-up anal penetration shots. You’d have thought that the initial shot that people have been clamoring for would be in clear view, but nope. Lastly, regarding any noise that comes out of KLK seems to be more of discomfort than genuine arousal.

The 5 scene breakdown stretching out over 2 & ½ hours is:

Scene 1. Kagney Linn Karter, Dale DaBone
Scene 2. Kagney Linn Karter, Jon Jon
Scene 3. Kagney Linn Karter, Marie Luv, Sara Sloane
Scene 4. Kagney Linn Karter, Anthony Rosano, Ramon Nomar
Scene 5. Kagney Linn Karter, Manuel Ferrara

The first scene is a straight M/F that breaks no new ground as KLK has done about 100 such scenes already. When it comes time for the popshot, instead of shooting POV style or having the cameraman stand close to her, the camera is shooting slightly up at her face. Evidently, as the guy is stroking it off the majority of the penis pudding lands on her tongue. I say evidently because we don’t see any of the ample load land on her tongue, and it’s only until the camera shot moves up that we see the cum sitting on her tongue. After it’s verified that cum is on her tongue, we have some PCH before KLK expels the DNA onto her chin and we fade out.

The second scene is the long awaited I/R scene that porn viewing fans have been promised over a year ago. This is another standard M/F scene and the guy literally, and I mean literally, gets lost in the woodwork as the scene is shot in someone’s professional study. The lighting is fairly dim almost as if they’re just using the room’s regular light to light the scene, the room is made up of lots of reds and browns, the guy is dark, the carpet is dark and KLK is wearing dark clothing before shedding it. She is literally the only light colored thing in the room and even she’s covered up to blend in. During the first part of the oral portion the guy has some wood problems. Other times, KLK seems to be almost in the background of the scene as the camera is trying to catch a wide portion of everything in the room in the frame. I have it on pause right now and the guy literally takes up half my screen and if I didn’t know it was porn, I’d almost not even notice his cock in KLK’s hand. At other times, the combination of all the dark items; the guy included, the lighting, and the camera angle/distance make it almost impossible to see penetration. . Granted we have some close-ups, overall we just see a couple of bodies bumping together. At one point, for whatever reason the guy feels the need to balance KLK on a barstool in the middle of the room. I really don’t know what they were going for when they shot this “one time only” scene, but they completely missed the boat. Popshot is shot in a way that we barely see any cumming at all.

KLK’s second I/R scene takes place in the form of a 3 girl dog pile with Sarah Vandella and Marie Luv. KLK dives in on Marie’s cookie, but Marie is wearing a black dress that gets hiked up so we can’t really see where the dress ends and pussy starts. Part of the problem is no close-ups of said cookie munching. Again, too much of a stylishly decorated room is in the picture and the performers get lost in the decorations. We then move into a darkly decorated bedroom that the performers blend into the décor. The camera angles and lack of close up shots complete the dousing of any flames generated.

We then move onto a MFM scene that starts out very promising as KLK asks the guys whether they want to her to fuck them both at the same time or one at a time. Kagney decides that she can take them both on at once and we get to it. The double blowjob sequence that kicks the scene off is top notch; however, there is no double stuffing on Kagney’s mouth as she goes back and forth between the cocks. We then go into an extended fuck session that has KLK jumping off one guy and onto the other while at the same time giving the other on head. The problem I have with this scene is that it takes place on a couch out on the patio and at times only half the couch is used as Kagney is completely wedged in between the two guys as the one guy completely blocks Kagney’s face with his hands as her face is licking his balls. This was a good scene that closes out with both guys dropping their dick dew into her mouth and onto her face. Kagney then spits out any cum in her mouth onto her chin and tits, gives the guys about 10 seconds of PCH and we fade out.

Finally we get to the other moment that people have been waiting for, KLK’s first onscreen anal. Again we’re in the study with a lot of dark tones and furniture, but it’s daytime and the room is much lighter. For about the first 10 minutes, Kagney has her backdoor prepped with a series of butt plugs and other toys before the guy lays on his back and she gives him head while she’s on all fours with a butt plug still in her ass. Now for the big moment. KLK is lying on her side and as the guy comes up from behind her, still on the couch, and is going to enter her anally in spoon. Do we have a close up of penetration? No we don’t! Quite the opposite actually, for the first 5 minutes or so of spoon the shot is a far back shot and the view is obscured by various hands, first we have KLK or the guy rubbing her pussy with their hand, or we have his or her hand gripping the cock again obscuring it so as the thrusts never go in more than an inch or two. We then go to RCGA with far away shots also from an angle versus a direct full on shot. Surprisingly, we have some A2M by KLK before she climbs on for the scene’s first vag penetration in CG. From a side shot we can barely see a little leftover gape, but again we’re not getting the close-ups. KLK climbs off, switches sides on the sofa, leans over the end, and looks over her shoulder and gives the guy a “let’s get this over with” look as he anals her again, this time in doggy. Obligatory “oh baby, don’t stop” type of comments, some more A2M, then regular CG before KLK receives a rather large batch of penis pudding into her mouth which she immediately spits out. Nice camera close-up and a very good sized batch of hand babies close it out.

Pluses: 5 KLK scenes on 1 disk, KLK doing I/R with guys and girls. The popshots in scenes 4 & 5 were pretty good. The MFM scene was real good.

Minuses: This almost looks like it was shot for minimal editing if and when it gets sold to “hotel in-room porn service companies.”
The anal commentary listed above, the technical issues listed for the I/R scenes.

Sleaziness Factor (1-10): 6 for the I/R scenes, the A2M by a non anal girl, an anal scene by someone clearly doing it only for the money.

Is it worth it? If you really want to see KLK do anal or I/R, this might be a rent, but as a purchase, not at all.