A.E.R. Adult Entertainment Robot 1 Review

Running Time: 94 min.

Production Date: 1 / 18 / 2002

Director: Phil Barry

Cast: Cathy Barry, Michelle Thorne, Angel Long, Jane Whitehouse, Pete Le’ Meat, Taylor-J., Rebecca Smyth, Lucy Law, Lee Henshaw, Karina Clark, Stephanie Grany, Sahra Wright, Laura Meadows, Beth Thornton, Justin Round, and Frazer Fox

Initial Expectations: I haven’t been impressed with anything from Union Jaxxx yet, so I’m not expecting too much here either.

Initial Reaction: Perhaps the only thing more cleverly invented than the AERs is the fast forward button.

Who Should Watch It : Anybody looking for something cheesy

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody wanting something very hot or well done

Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are surprisingly well done. The audio is normally clear and well balanced, but there are a few areas where the sound gets a little jumbled. The video has a slight bit of grain, but is normally very well lit.

Music: There’s a little music, but it’s kept very quiet in the background.

Menus: The menus are extremely basic. The main menu is unanimated and the chapter menu lets you choose a scene based on a still from the scene and a chapter number.

The Feature: The AER (Adult Entertainment Robot) has been designed by Synatron Electronics to fulfill any needs humans have sexually. You can either go to the factory to test one or two out, buy them, or call in to have one sent out to you.

AERs Cathy Barry and a blonde are booked by a pair of blondes for the first scene. I can’t be certain since there’s nothing close to decent credits here, but I’m guessing the three blondes are Michelle Thorne, Angel Long, and Jane Whitehouse. They go after each other with tongues and fingers with plenty of spit, dirty talk, and over the top moaning before adding a few toys to the mix. They mostly pair up between the four of them, but the three girls do team up on Cathy to DP her with the toys at one point. It’s a fairly uninspired and boring scene, with much of it feeling very amateurish (and not in the amateur porn sort of way). One of the girls even talks to the camera a bit while working on one of the others, which seemed completely out of place. The girls aren’t bad looking and do look to get into it pretty good, but I just couldn’t get into it. I think a good portion of it was probably the camera work, which has held back almost every scene I’ve seen from Union Jaxxx.

When a couple of guys (I’m guessing they’re Pete Le’Meat and Lee Henshaw) have problems with their pair of blonde AERs (one of whom I think is TaylorJ.), the factory sends a serviceman by. He fixes the two broken ones and gives them a brunette (who I think is Lucy Law) one in case one of the blondes breaks down. One of the guys takes on the new brunette while the other has the blondes go at it and then joins in with them. After warming up in separate groups, they all come together for a conglomeration of flesh that’s so cramped that once the fucking starts you rarely see less than four people even when it’s a close-up. The guys work their way around the girls, with the girls doing the same, until one of the blondes (the one I think might be Taylor) finishes things with a good double facial. It’s a pretty average scene despite everybody in the scene appearing to be into everyone else.

Karina Clark and another blonde decide to try out a pair of AERs in the third scene. This time I’m guessing that the other three are Stepohanie Grany, Sahra Wright, and Laura Meadows. They start out working each other over naturally before breaking out a few toys and a bottle of lube. This is an okay scene, but I couldn’t get past that it seemed to be exactly like the opening scene. If it isn’t bad enough that it’s the same setup (two girls hiring two AERs), it’s even the same location. Karina normally impresses me, but this scene couldn’t even make me think about getting hard.

A brunette AER with a bit of a red dye job is sent out to a customer’s house (I think the customer might be Justin Round, but I’m not sure) in the penultimate scene. They exchange oral favors before he fucks her from behind, as well as in missionary and spooning. He even fucks her ass from behind before she strokes him onto her nicely natural tits. I really wanted to like this scene, since the girls seemed to be into it pretty well, but the scene didn’t get much better than the others. I think a fair amount of the blame here might be on the guy, who seemed a bit lost at times. The scene also seemed a bit jumpy, as the oral warmups jumped back and forth like they forgot they did something rather than because they had such a good time at it.

Finally, a guy (who I think might be Frazer Fox, gets a blonde AER sent out to him. They energetically work each other over orally before fucking in several positions, including a little anal doggie. The girl even gets a little nasty and takes an ass to mouth before taking as much of his guy goo in her mouth as she can. This is by far the hottest scene in the movie. It’s energetic, has great chemistry, and the camera work isn’t quite as bad as in some of the other scenes.

A.E.R. Adult Entertainment Robot is a fun idea that fails due to the ineptitude of the direction. The idea isn’t the most original, but it is a fun idea that lets the director do pretty much whatever he or she wants to do in a scene. Cana it be cheesy? Yes, but it can also be a lot of fun. Sadly, here all it does is come off as cheesy, and feels like a B-movie grade of porno. Much of the fault here is due to the direction and camera work, which leaves more than a little to be desired. There are few distance shots that let you see all of the performers, and the cameraman chops off so many heads that I think he might have manned a guillotine in a previous life. I couldn’t help but use the fast forward button repeatedly throughout the movie because of this, since the camera work is bad enough that you often only got half of the girl’s head when she was sucking cock! It’s bloody ridiculous and if I wouldn’t have used the fast forward button I think I would have slept right through the last scene. This would have really been unfortunate, as it’s the only good scene in the movie. The couple there puts more energy and chemistry into the scene than almost the entire rest of the cast combined. A.E.R. Adult Entertainment Robot doesn’t even have the mechanics of porn down.

Extras: There’s trailers and a photo gallery with about twenty very clear full screen photos.

Themes: Straight, lesbian, group, fetishwear, toys, rimming (female > female), DP (technical), masturbation, anal, and ass to mouth

Raincoat Factor: High

Condom Usage: None.

Overall: Currently, most Union Jaxxx DVDs can be found online for $15 to $20. This is way too much money for what you get here. There’s only one good scene in the movie, and the camera work stinks throughout almost the entire thing. The technical aspects aren’t too bad, but there isn’t much for extras.

Note to Union Jaxxx: A few decades ago moviemakers invented a thing called “credits”. These allow the viewer to put names with the stars so that they can look for or avoid particular people they like or dislike in the future. In adult films, it’s even done where the star’s name is put up on the screen at the same time as a picture of the star or a clip of the star in the movie. These would be great here, and would help your movies feel a little more professional. It’s something that is hopefully taught at film school, which would be an even bigger help for your movies.

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

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