Adventures Of A Teddy Bear, The Review

Reviewed by Sean Renaud  on  10/15/2014

Heading In: I’m not really sure what I’m getting heading into this. None of these girls are names that I’m familiar with and I think I’ve seen one other movie from Teen Fidelity. The summary on the back tells me that this is about a guy who sets up a spy camera in a teddy bear and follows around some teens. It could be fun.

Scene 1: Natasha White

I’m probably dating myself here a bit but Natasha White reminds me a lot of the original Pink Ranger. The scene starts out with her frolicking around outside in an adorable pink outfit. It’s really too cute for words and a hat that just adds to the youthful look. It’s got this music that I don’t know quite how to describe, it’s kinda haunting in my opinion. Our stunt Cock Ryan Madison walks in on Natasha in the bathroom and after a little pussy eating force feeds the her his cock. The lack of sound here is very disappointing for me. After a good few minutes and a fuck in the bathroom Ryan tosses Natasha over his shoulder and carries her to her room for the main event. I love the way this girl sucks and fucks. If she wasn’t genuinely enjoying herself she was doing a damn good job of pretending and I love how Ryan is so into fucking her brains out that he just can’t be bothered taking his pants all the way off leaving them around his ankles a huge chunk of the scene. There’s some light choking if that’s your kind of thing (it’s certainly mine) I can’t even tell where he came but oh well.

All things considered I really love this scene once it gets going. I’d really like to see Natasha White in something where I don’t feel quite so dirty watching her and the occasional switch to the teddy bear spy cam is kinda creepy. Still it’s a damn hot scene.

Scene 2: Carmen Calloway

Carmen’s a cute petite blonde in a dress right out of a fairy tale about little girls and the Big Bad Wolf, which is exactly what Ryan is when he walks into her hotel room and starts making out with her. The music stops quickly in this scene which is a plus for me. Because of the dress the scene starts out adorably awkward. Including the BJ where she alternates between this girl who doesn’t know what she’s doing so she’s licking and kissing it while giggling and letting Ryan pump her pretty face. The sex starts with her still in that dress, her panties just yanked to one side. It take s a long time to even get her out of her dress, and Ryan does that thing again where he keeps his pants around his ankles. Maybe that’s not so great every scene. At one point in the scene Ryan folds Carmen in half and brings her panties up around the back of her neck to keep her that way for a thorough fuck. At one point in the scene she’s noticeably bleeding, which take it as you will.

All things considered a few parts of this scene really stand out. How adorable she looks sucking cock, especially toward the end where she’s happily kicking her feet back and forth, how sexy she looks with her panties behind her neck and they really work that for all it’s worth and how long it takes her to get out of that dress. Carmen’s tattoos are a tiny bit distracting since she’s clearly supposed to be an innocent girl but honestly her act is convincing enough that might be a comfort.

Scene 3: Nickey Huntsman

Sweet little Nickey receives the Teddy Bear in the mail and decides to take it with her to the local fair for a bit of fun before she makes that most fatal of mistakes and gets in the car with a strange man who almost immediately begins feeling her up to some ominous sounding music. Of course she doesn’t seem to mind too much kissing him back and spreading her legs. After a while the action moves to the back of the van. Nickey doesn’t seem to be nearly as confused as the other girls pretend to be about what to do when a cock is shoved in your face but Ryan is a little rougher with her mouth than the others not that she can’t take it. I love Nickey’s eyes. Those are definitely the eyes you want staring up at you when you fill a girl’s throat with cock. Like the earlier scenes it takes a while to get Nickey out of her dress and longer out of her bra. After a good and thorough rutting Ryan closes the van on his newest victim.

All things considered this is easily my second favorite scene behind only Natasha in the opener. Even if the set up is worse (She gets in a van with a stranger for fucks sake!) once you get past it it’s not half as creepy as any of the other scenes. The van is actually one of the more creative locations I’ve seen in porn where half of it seems to be filmed on the same three couches and four beds.

Scene 4: Sara Luv

Sara Luv is our fourth and final girl, she would probably be the girl who seemed most like she was supposed to be an almost legal teen instead of serious jail bait if they didn’t have her playing with dolls and skipping down the street with the teddy bear in a stroller. At least her get up is something that I wouldn’t find completely unbelievable on a woman. When Ryan finds the sleeping beauty he decides that it’s appropriate to sniff her hair, lick her neck and nuzzle her cunt to wake her up. She certainly likes the wake up. From there he eats her out, wraps her panties around her head to keep her folded in half, wraps his belt around her ankles and goes to town. She’s super cute covering her mouth so she can’t scream. As usual for this film the dress stays on for a long time. I love listening to her beg him to cum in her mouth. The absolute best is that her hair started off in these little pig tails and as the scene progresses her hair just gets messier and messier till she’s a solid wreck by the end.

All things considered this I like the scene, I don’t feel weird getting off to it and by the middle or so of the scene all pretense that Sara isn’t loving the deep dicking she’s getting is completely gone. It almost seems like something from another DVD.

Extras: If you are the kind of person who likes behind the scenes and fluffing (which in this case is mostly just odd camera angles or stuff that was cut from the feature for various reasons) then you might like this. I’m not a really big fan of that stuff but it runs nearly an hour and a half. During it however Natasha is commenting on her outfit and the cameraman mentions they never dress girls up this young. But they ran a poll to see what the fans want and they always say the same two things. They want the girl next door and the younger the better. And looks at her outfits and jokes that they wanted a five year old. She’s clearly comfortable with it, and the outfit is super cute but it really boils down to the fact that it’s hard to claim she’s trying to look sixteen, seventeen, eighteen. The only reason I’m going to complain about these extras is because I strongly believe that if you’re going to give me an entire extra disc you better have a bonus scene or something, not just the photo gallery and other basic stuff that I’ve come to expect but don’t honestly care about.

I also have to give really high marks to the acting. They accomplish their goal with flying colors here.

Heading out: The story part of Adventures of a Teddy Bear is probably the hugest make or break I’ve seen of any porn. It’s compelling to watch these girls, who are obviously pretending to be a little younger than most porn find their way to the Teddy Bear and bring it home only to have Ryan find each of them and put them to use. The makers of this film figured out something that far too pornographers ever figure out. A good cocksmith can really make or break you. Ryan is a convincing molester and if the scenarios don’t turn you off his performance along with the girls is truly immense.

Three of the four scenes in a cream pie but usually you can’t see enough so it’s like the scene ends when he gets bored. I like my facials personally but if it’s a cream pie I want to see it oozing out of her little cunny at the end. Which leads me to my next point.

There are only four scenes with four girls on this. Now they each put in work with a total run time of a little under two and a half hours but industry standard is five scenes so this runs a little short. They also easily could have gotten a little more variety in there. The girls might not be wholly interchangeable but they are all white and blonde or brunette.

The bottom line is that this movie aims for a kinda creepy stalker vibe and knocks it if not out of the park certainly into the cheap seats and I wouldn’t blame you at all if it made you a little uncomfortable. I don’t think the cover art really does it justice and the description sounds like you’ll be watching these girls with their boyfriends without them knowing which isn’t at all what it’s like. Of course as I watch all the previews and extras on this I’m coming to think that at least part of that mistake is mine for not knowing who Teen Fidelity is. Apparently they specialize in the intense. Which is good, but I do like to know what I’m getting into ahead of time since I’d probably not pick this up with the missus and would like add to the porn that lives in my Microsoft Office case (i.e. places my SO is never going to randomly look.) but that’s just me. I liked it quite a bit once I got over my apparent purity in some areas.