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• Husband wants me to do degrading things 8/22/2012 2:45:36 AM
  
  UPDATE PART TWO: His parents wrote me back - his brother did too. They believe some of what he says and some of what I say. Anyway, the parts that they believe me about are enough for them to do right by me. They all know I don't want him back - definitely not now without him seeing the light and getting help. I don't think he's abusive but the man's got issues and he's definitely hurtful to me in bed and emotionally. He's addicted to porn, and weird porn at that, has anxiety issues, is a dry drunk and is using other weird herbs... anyway, I'm going off topic. The man's got issues and is in denial about the issues. I'm not a shrink or going to label him but I don't need to stay with him either. I'll leave it at that and I'm not sticking aro...

• Husband wants me to do degrading things 8/22/2012 2:29:50 AM
  
  OKAY HERE'S ANOTHER UPDATE. It's going to be a long one. I am afraid to say that I couldn't follow the plan. I really wanted to but I couldn't control myself and I did end up confronting him. First though, I took my laptop to my friend's house and downloaded the files I created on him to her hard drive and left her the hard-copies of everything I had printed off in a filing cabinet at her house as well. I have found even more stuff that proves substance abuse and copies of nasty emails he's sent me in the past and I copied those have since sent those to her house as well. He doesn't know I did this so I am pretty sure it's all safe. She knows what's going on and I trust her completely to keep this safe. I fully plan on getting a safety de...

• Husband wants me to do degrading things 8/22/2012 1:25:09 AM
  
  Breeze wrote: SO why are you seeking advice on a porn forum, that seems a bit weird to me? Actually, I thought this was the PERFECT place to seek help when my problems with my husband were just porn related. Being told that you are not overreacting about your husband's attitude's and treatment towards you sexually or his use of porn on a porn forum is pretty darn vindicating. I've been amazed and impressed with the high number of quality answers, support, advocacy and insight that I've gotten here. Who to better speak to about porn issues (when that was my main issue) than porn users? If they tell me he's taking it too far, I'm a heck of a lot more apt to believe them than if users of some religious or non-sex related website told me the s...

• Husband wants me to do degrading things 8/17/2012 8:12:30 PM
  
  BYOB_Kenobi wrote: 4). This is a time to be smart and suppress emotions. The smarter you are, the best outcome out (which might not be high, but most optimal) will happen. Don't let him know, continue to collect evidence. 5). Make sure he's not endangering your kid and draw line if it happens (abuse). I grew up in verbal and physical violence parents/house and still have PTSD. It's a lot of responsibility and work, but there is hope, my mom made it and only reason why her kids (me and sibs) are somewhat psychologically functional. All this is not ideal and even if you make mistakes, just remember the goal, stick to your plans. Your solid and there is hope and many in same situation who did it, you just have to do the hard part and do it. P...

• Husband wants me to do degrading things 8/17/2012 7:48:55 PM
  
  lindi wrote: ***** I AM CANADIAN!!! ***** That's why I specified U.S. laws. Because I don't know if they are similar in Canada. Also, nothing I say is legal advice--just a little info. The advice is, you need to see a lawyer. Edited by - lindi on 8/17/2012 5:30:28 PM I wasn't trying to be facetious Lindi, so I hope you weren't offended but I was feeling silly at the time and also like that commercial lol. Today has been such an emotional roller coaster and I haven't slept a wink since Wednesday night so there's that too, and am still running on yesterday's granola breakfast because when upset, I don't eat. I feel like I'm going crazy. I've laughed at dumb shit and made dumb jokes, cried and wanted to throw things, felt numb, felt angry, fe...

• Husband wants me to do degrading things 8/17/2012 3:41:53 PM
  
  ***** I AM CANADIAN!!! ***** Sorry, couldn't resist, it was in a beer commercial up here for the longest time. I just thought I'd add that. U.S. Family Law Rules are not the same as here but the general legal advice is mostly good. Here the Divorce Act is Federal/Nationwide so different State advice may or may not help. I definitely do know I need to think about contacting a lawyer. Having worked with them, I might just go to my old coworker for general advice before pursuing anything. Unfortunately, I don't have friends I can stay with. There are no rooms available in any of their Inns, as many of them are still younger and unmarried, without kids. The married ones with kids have cramped enough houses of their own to deal with. I could be...

• Husband wants me to do degrading things 8/17/2012 1:01:59 PM
  
  Unfortunately, from the videos I've seen, he's more apt to want to piss and shit in mine, and then stick his dick in it to give it a good stir. :O He's right, I am not freaky enough for him! I took screen snippets/recordings of everything. I think I already have enough evidence to call him on his cheating and sex addiction but I will continue to collect more until I confront him so long as I can remain in this state of shock/emotional numbness that I am currently feeling. I cried this morning to my Aunt on the phone. Now I'm all business and sitting outside of myself. Thank goodness because my son is home and I couldn't imagine feeling what I felt last night or this morning with him here and having to hide it. lindi wrote: Oh, yeah, and sno...

• Husband wants me to do degrading things 8/17/2012 12:54:21 PM
  
  I know a bit about Family Law here (I'm actually a law clerk by trade) and worked at a law firm, sometimes in our Family Law department until the spring of last year but I think I am looking at some trouble ahead when it comes to finding immediate housing. The house we currently live in is rented and owned by none other but my father-in-law (also a cheater lol), like father, like son. He's also a total enabler, hence us living in this house despite me and my mother in law's efforts to convince my husband to buy a house. In the event of a divorce, I might actually end up very glad that my husband didn't grow up fully and stand on his own two feet. One less property issue to deal with in the courts if/when we get there. I think your advice ab...

• Husband wants me to do degrading things 8/17/2012 12:21:51 PM
  
  BYOB_Kenobi wrote: ^ 1). This guy is a grade a asshole. Don't feel guilty, this guy is not a man doing all this shit with a baby on the way. He's a fucking jackhole. 2). Are you older or on the younger side (you sound younger). 3). Are you family members or friends an options (moving in with them)? I know it's not that ideal, but many women do this. 4). I would say dump this asshole and leave, but not sure what best way is with extra factor of kid/pregnancy (I"m a guy). I'd ask Lindi, Kimi (and other wise women here) or the other women here that can offer good advice on this front. Just don't feel bad. It's all this guy's fault. Luckily you found it in time before finding years later (trust me). You sound like a solid girl, so there a...

• Husband wants me to do degrading things 8/17/2012 5:15:38 AM
  
  I am the OP to this thread. I updated the original post today. I am copying the updated portion of my original post here in case anyone new to this thread wanted to respond to the original question... I'm hoping this will save them time and give me answers that are more relevant based on new facts. What I wrote before is not as relevant to my situation as what I've written below but I left up the text from the original complaint for continuity. Like it says below, advice is appreciated. You occasionally read about situations like this and hypothetically, it's easy to say what you'd do if it was you. Now that it's me, I'm dumbfounded. :( Thanks everyone, Indigo indigoviolets wrote: *** EDIT *** I haven't had a chance to talk with my husband ...

• Husband wants me to do degrading things 7/13/2012 1:19:17 PM
  
  Thanks so much for the answers so far everyone. You all have made me glad I signed up here because I didn't know anywhere else on the web I could ask about something so graphic and personal. I thought maybe I was overreacting (I know, stupid) but really, this has been bothering me so much. I do attribute his new moves to his recent consumption of the more hard-core porno I mentioned earlier. He got into this stuff about a month or two ago so he's probably just experimenting but it's crossing the line with me. I know he's faithful to me (and I him) and there hasn't been any drama between us or anything like that. Outside of this issue, I'm happy with the rest of our marriage, our life as parents etc. I don't want to make him out to be a bad...

• The Truth About Anal Sex -- Question For the Girls 7/12/2012 7:22:44 PM
  
  I don't "hate" anal but it does nothing for me. It feels okay, once you get past the initial pain but I've never came from it. It also makes me sexually frustrated because I still feel like I need cock vaginally during/after the act but since my husband comes from anal, I end up having to use a vibrator to finish myself off. Toys are fun but I prefer cock so I feel shortchanged when I have to use a toy when my man is there! I'd prefer to use them only to put on a show for him or to get myself off when he's away and we can't have sex. The things I like about anal are how turned on it makes my husband. I like seeing him thoroughly enjoy it and feel closer to him during the act. I could never be with someone that preferred it to vag...

• Husband wants me to do degrading things 7/12/2012 7:10 PM
  
  *** EDIT *** I haven't had a chance to talk with my husband yet and I'm not going to about this issue from a relationship-fixing perspective. While not proud of it, I did some sleuthing this weekend while he was away and found out the real reasons for his sudden change in sexual tastes. As far as I can tell, my marriage is over and I am going to make sure to get tested for STDs this week. It's a shame too because I'm having his/our second baby in four WEEKS! It turns out, he's been cheating on me with random women online. I'm not sure if he's met anyone yet but from what I can tell, it's been going on since April of this year that he's been signed up to several different online dating and intimate encounter websites. I found his profiles (...