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Behind the Scenes of Stupid Cupid and Girl Uninhibited - Steph's Story

Now I understand why men wear socks in pornos while having sex. Now I understand how dildos magically appear in scenes. Now I understand why the sex often has nothing to do with the movie. Now I understand why so many porn movies look like they're made in three days. They are.

Porn Set #1 - Stupid Cupid

So I went to my first porn set. I met some of the greatest performers in the industry andů others. I learned why in our chat with Kylie Ireland she named Kyle Stone as one of her favorite performers (he could make a virgin feel comfortable on stage.) I realized how different we ADT folk are from other press people (they needed an angle for the story, like Keisha's comeback or Stacy Valentine's departure; for us being on the set itself is the story.) I found that last semblance of shame stuffed deep in my conscience. Watching in the privacy of your home and standing 6 feet away from the 'stage' just aren't the same.

Before entering the set I had to sign my life away to VCA Pictures. I guess they've had some problems with websites using explicit photos of VCA girls without permission. Everyone was definitely shocked that 90% of the pictures I took were of the dialog scenes rather than the sex scenes. Nobody quite understood that we don't show graphic nudity on our site. Maybe it's my strange sense of humor, but I'd much rather have a picture of the stage hand eating chips two feet in front of the couple screwing on the couch than I would a close-up of a penis entering a vagina. Judging by the bored faces around the room, you'd think they were filming a woodworking infomercial. Now I understand why Marilyn Chambers said that the standing ovation she got from the crew when shooting Insatiable's pool table scene was such a rarity. The cameraman yawned as he captured Pat Myne thrusting into Heather Lynn's butt.

The morning began with the filming of the dialog scenes in Stupid Cupid. Kyle Stone, aka Stupid Cupid, plays a comical drunk shooting his love arrows at unsuspecting partygoers, with only a few hitches. He had to shoot three people with two arrows. And the Valentine's Day party only had three guests (Saki and I were getting nervous that they were going to ask us to sit in.) Apparently, the arrows will be edited in later - more attention was paid to the clenching of the butt cheeks (when hit) than the actual shooting of the arrows. Each scene was 'rehearsed' once and filmed in less than three takes.

I don't know how this works on mainstream sets, but Kyle was doing as much directing as Jim Enright, the director. During the sex scenes, it's pretty much the guy holding the camera (yes one camera) that determines the outcome. According to the folks around the set, Jim is famous for saying, "3 positions, transitions, hard and soft(core), have fun, go nuts!" and then leaving the room. After seeing Jim's involvement in the dialog scenes, I was shocked that he didn't even watch the sex. He was in the back of the room having an unrelated conversation. Though when Heather Lynn first took her clothes off Jim said a little too loud, "Oh God, she has a tattoo on her front and her back and they both say something."

I have to give credit to the effort at paying attention to detail. The soundman always noted the shadow of the boom. Keisha reminded Jim that she had to enter the party with a purse (since she later pulls two massive dildos from it.) Nobody ever said, "Who cares this is just a porno."

Many thanks to VCA for letting a couple first timers like Saki and I onto the set. And to the gracious Kylie Ireland for greeting us at the door (so we didn't have to walk up to the dressing room and ask, "hi is this the porn set?")

Porn Set #2 - Girl, Uninhibited

Recently I stopped by my second porn set, the set of Girl, Uninhibited - where Chloe plays the Angela Jolie part and Tina Tyler the Whoopie Goldberg role (I'm not sure which parts Kylie Ireland and TJ Hart were taking on.) Luckily we (Drew and I) arrived at the worn mansion on Mullholland Dr at the same time as Tina (Tina, I won't say anything about your parallel parking skills ;) Kyle Stone came up to Tina, put his arm around her and said, "Hey, I get to screw you today!" with a big grin on his face. Kylie brought me into the dressing room so I could meet Chloe - I really got to see The Other Side of Chloe - she was in curlers and having her face painted.

We watched Steve Hatcher and TJ Hart have sex on the stairs and a quick dialog scene with Kylie and Chloe. Then TJ went outside to pose for some magazine photographers. And there she was wearing my underwear (OK it wasn't mine, but I was wearing the same ones.) We headed back outside to say goodbye to my favorite stars. Once again I begged Kyle Stone to let me interview him for ADT - Kyle, if you're reading this, write me back already :)

Two porn sets later and I'm still convinced that the people of porn are some of the nicest people on this planet. Thanks, everybody!

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Stupid Cupid Photos

courtesy of VCA Pictures
click on image to see large photo

Keisha with her props
 
Pat Myne getting ready
 
Girl, Uninhibited Photos

Tina Tyler incognito
 
Kylie, Chloe and Kyle
 
TJ Hart in my underwear
 
Kylie Ireland waiting for her cue
 
  

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