All Metro Movie Reviews directed by Jace Rocker

Showing 1 - 6 of 6 Reviews
Boxcover for Hanky Panky
Hanky Panky 

Release date: 4/24/2000
Reviewed on: 7/23/2002 by gattman

Starring: Tom Byron, Julian, Mark Davis, Tina Tyler, Tye, Candy Apples, T.J. Hart, Melanie Stone, Jonathan Morgan, Shyla Foxxx, Janis Jones
Studio: Metro

Directed by: Jace Rocker
Review brief: Wow, what can I say this happens to be one of my fave porn films of all time It has humour, a story, laughs, gorgeous women why the only thing missing was me but anyway ..... Film starts off with Julian, as a judge [with a pierced tongue no less!!!] taking on both Melaine Stone and Janis Jones Flashback to Jonathon Morgan and Tina Tyler in a hot scene and the set-up for the blackmail plot Hmm I wonder if I had sex with Tina Tyler I could blackmail her into being an Australian :) Next scene is also good with Tommy Byron and Shyla Foxxx Then the scene that lets this film down in my opinion, the all girl scene with Tina, Candy Apples and T.J Hart. Mark Davis plays a detective who Shyla gets to spy on Tom Byron great sex scene again After some more hijinxs where Tina goes to confront Jonathon Morgan, Shyla enters carrying an axe and chases Tom and Jonathon out of the house Tye [who plays Johnathon's wife] then decides to hook up with Julian and another great sex scene Look just stop reading and order this dvd as it is a must buy I have 2 complaints I would of liked to of seen
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Review brief: The best thing about this movie is it's own preview, which is tightly edited, funny, and very entertaining. The movie itself is not so great. This was an attempt to parody the 1940's private detective genre, the type of Sam Spade/Phillip Marlowe roles that Bogart played. I'm a fan of Jace Rocker comedies, but this one fell flat. It simply wasn't funny, even where it could have been. It is supposed to be set in New York City, the "Big Apple" but, last time I checked, they don't have many palm trees in New York, nor a lot of pools in the back yards. The end credits state that it was shot "on location in Southern California" but that was a) not where the movie is set (in other words, not the location), and b) painfully obvious throughout. The sets are cheesy and cheap looking. A better approach would have been to use actual footage from old 1930s and 1940s movies for all of the exterior shots, per Steve Martin's "Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid" (although that would probably have caused too many copyright problems). Despite the presence of the always wonderful Asia Carrera, the sex was pretty much by the numbers.
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Review brief: Production Information Studio: Cal Vista Stars: Shyla Foxx, Melanie Stone, John Decker, Mark Davis, Tina Tyler, Candy Apples, Nick East, Dave Hardman, Ruby, JJ Michaels, Anthony Crane, Herschel, and Julian Pre Viewing Expectations Non-explicit photos shows us some shots of the movie. There is a write up which gives us a brief synopsis of the plot. A list of the stars and the included extras are also mentioned. The Main Event The wife of a soap opera producer is feeling a bored, and has dreams of doing the pool guy (how original). The producer gets some side action from his secretary in his office. The secretary has a pretty convincing orgasm before they try some anal action. The scene concludes with him giving her a facial. When the ratings of her husband's show starts to drop, his wife wanting to protect his job (and her standard of living), and three other bored housewives decide to "research" sex in order to spice up the script of the soap opera.
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Boxcover for Thai Me Up
Thai Me Up 

Release date: 4/24/2000
Reviewed on: 10/18/2000 by darkmage

Starring: Asia Carrera, Tom Byron, Julian, Brooke Ashley, Marc Wallice, Jonathan Morgan, Anna, Jessica James, Kimi Ji, Flora, Gail
Studio: Metro

Directed by: Jace Rocker
Review brief: Okay, picture this in your mind: You are a porn director. You have until noon tomorrow to come up with the script you will be using to shoot your next film. It is now 10 PM. You haven't started writing yet, but you have finished your third can of Jolt cola. As a last-ditch effort to inspire the creative juices, you bring out the big guns: You make a pot of coffee strong enough to bench press a Doberman and use it to wash down a couple Vivarin. Your fingers vibrating at roughly two times the speed of sound, you manage to watch Ace Ventura: Pet Detective with your finger firmly on the fast forward button. And you are so wired that you understand every word in the zip-squeal of sound coming from your protesting speakers. Having done your research, you begin to write... This humble scenario must have been the inspiration behind the plot for Thai Me Up.
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Boxcover for Thai Me Up
Thai Me Up 

Release date: 4/24/2000
Reviewed on: 8/2/2000 by dean

Starring: Asia Carrera, Tom Byron, Julian, Brooke Ashley, Marc Wallice, Jonathan Morgan, Anna, Jessica James, Kimi Ji, Flora, Gail
Studio: Metro

Directed by: Jace Rocker
Review brief: Spoof on Charlie Chan Movies. It takes place in Bankock. The story is about a private detective hired by an insurance sceem to uncover a plot to defraud them on a death benefit claim. Several other people are also interested in finding the beneficiary to claim the money that she will receive. The sex sences are exciting with all types of action. The girls are very pretty and all asian. Acting over done and sound track does not sync with video.
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