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All Platinum X Pictures Movie Reviews directed by Tim Von Swine

Showing 1 - 25 of 39 ReviewsMovies Per Page: 25
Boxcover for Swine's P.O.V.
Swine's P.O.V. 

Release date: 9/9/2005
Reviewed on: 11/3/2013 by captain-jack

Starring: Lea Stevenson, Tim Von Swine, Sunny Lane, Nikki Nievez, Andrea Ash, Haley Paige
Studio: Platinum X Pictures

Directed by: Tim Von Swine
Review brief: An older DVD made it’s way to me this week and I was more than happy to put my thoughts down. When I see Haley Paige staring at me from the box cover, I knew I was going to enjoy it! Tim Von Swine is the ‘everyman’ representation in the porn industry. The dude likes to drink beer and bang hot girls, something that we guy’s would love to do but it doesn’t come so easily for us. Plus, he has a gut like me so I can relate to him! It gives me hope! LOL.
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Boxcover for Swine's P.O.V.
Swine's P.O.V. 

Release date: 9/9/2005
Reviewed on: 1/10/2009 by mrharvard

Starring: Lea Stevenson, Tim Von Swine, Sunny Lane, Nikki Nievez, Andrea Ash, Haley Paige
Studio: Platinum X Pictures

Directed by: Tim Von Swine
Review brief: This is a film starring Andrea Ash, Haley Paige, Lea Stevenson, Nikki Nievez, Sunny Lane. This is your typical POV scene style with nice lighting and a good mix of adult stars. Most of the action is kept with Andrea and Haley. I preferred those two but some may like others. The camera angles and erotic poses were nice as well as the dirty talking but better stars would have been appreciated.
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Review brief: Title: Four On The Whore Studio: Platinum X Pictures Cast: Tiffany Rayne, Claire Robbins, Hillary Scott, Amber Wild Director: Tim von Swine Condoms: None Running Time: 02:54:08 Scene 1 (Hillary Scott and four guys [3 white, 1 black]) Sex Acts: Anal, Ass To Mouth, Double Penetration Four guys are standing in a room. The camera man introduces them. Also Hillary Scott is in the room, she is wearing blue/black lingerie and she is teasing the boys. Hillary shows her ass and the camera man asks if it is right that Hillary Scott likes to have cock ij every hole of her body. Off course that is right. Hillary puts a finger in her ass, the camera man spanks her ass. Hillary is 22 and has fucked 12 guys before she was in porn. She plays with her pussy and teases the camera man. Then the camera man says that the guys can start. Hillary starts sucking the guys dicks. This girl loves cock. One guy licks her pussy but Hillary keeps sucking those dicks. When the first guy fucks her in the reverse cowgirl position she is sucking the dicks of two other guys.
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Review brief: Dirty Birds Get Ready To Eat Crow! Director: Tim Von Swine Studio: Platinum X Pictures Running: 140 min Genre: Gonzo - Euro Release: 2005 I dont know about you, but I cant watch porn unless I have a reason. Im not a big fan of Euro women, but a couple do turn my crank, and they happen to be in this title. 1 is the ass fucked Poppy Morgan an 2 is the fake tittied Michelle B. Prepare for the PCP transmission of Dirt Birds (This aint no Red Robin!) Scene Breakdowns: Poppy Morgan Lets start this off with Poppy Morgan. From the 1st time I saw her I knew I was seeing something special. She had solid potential, but her makeup was less than impressive. Today all the kinks have been worked out and there is no doubt why she was chosen to kick this off.
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Review brief: The Little Details Running Time: 141 min. Production Date: 3 / 2 / 2005 Director: Tim Von Swine Cast: Alicia Rhodes, Isabel Ice, Michelle B., Poppy Morgan, Sophie Dee, John Strong, Jon Dough, Manuel Ferrara, Randy Spears, Robert Rosenberg, Steve Holmes, Tee Reel, and Toni Ribas The Short Story Initial Expectations: I havent seen anything from Von Swine yet, but Ive heard very good things about him and his movies. Even without that, with this cast I cant help but have high hopes. Initial Reaction: Its just as good as I hoped! Who Should Watch It : Fans of British women Who Should Avoid It: Anybody wanting an all anal movie The Technical Stuff Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are nicely done. The audio is clear and well balanced for the most part, but does stumble slightly a couple times. The video is much the same. It has just a hint of grain and is nicely lit. The only complaint I have about it is theres a few fast pans and zooms that just didnt work.
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Boxcover for Swine's P.O.V.
Swine's P.O.V. 

Release date: 9/9/2005
Reviewed on: 12/31/2005 by morbidthoughts

Starring: Lea Stevenson, Tim Von Swine, Sunny Lane, Nikki Nievez, Andrea Ash, Haley Paige
Studio: Platinum X Pictures

Directed by: Tim Von Swine
Review brief: Poor Tim Von Swine. Even though this is a POV movie, the male looks category has to be filled. Now you may wonder how the hell do you rate a guy's looks when you're using a first person's point of view. You can see Swine's furry pork belly in every shot and his ham hocks in some others like when the girl is kneeling down. For some people, that is way too much bacon to process in the head. The girls in the scene seem to like Swine. Some even play with the pork belly with Sunny Lane remarking that the belly was saltier than his pig sauce. As for the sex, it was fine and the camera steady. Every girl except for Sunny get bacon shoved in their pooper. In some of the scenes, Swine seems like he's having a heart attack as he's banging some of the finest chicks in porn and behind the scenes confirms this as you see the pig sweat and try to catch his breath. Maybe it wasn't appendicitis that knocked out Swine from his scene with Leah Stevenson which Jake Malone ably fills in.
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Review brief: Teen Fuck Holes #3 STUDIO: Platinum X Pictures DIRECTOR:Tim Von Swine CAST:Tiffany Taylor, Nilla, Lindsay Layne, Andrea Ash, Zoie J, Steven French, Marcos Leon, John Strong, Manuel Ferrara, Sean Michaels & Randy Spears Q U I C K I E REVIEW: I only recently realized I've seen the first Teen Fuck Holes. It was okay. This one has a bit more pizzaz but not that much. I liked the Andrea Ash and Lindsay Lane scenes. Both do anal. Lindsay Lane is a Jamie-Lynn DiScala look alike but Tiffany Taylor is the hottest in this. Her scene was okay. Nilla and Zoie J didn't really do anything for me but they do put in decent performances. I thought the camera work lacked diversity but it's good enough. Overall, I would say this is worth renting if you're a fan of one of the girls but I personally wouldn't put this on my priority list.
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Review brief: Well this is one title I'm very keen on reviewing since it stars two of my bigtime faves at the moment, Hillary Scott and Tiffany Rayne. You will see in this Hillary's sporting her new puppies and I really dig the cover shot too for this, love the use of colors. Let's not waste any time and get right to it. Hillary Scott: Alright we get our covergirl leading off. The scene gets going with Tim making sure the Squad is introduced first but really who cares about the guys,lol. I like the easy going atmosphere Tim has on his sets and then we get to Hillary who is just smoking hot in her black & blue lingerie. There is some good bendin over done by Miss Scott and a fun conversation is heard while we check out her body with Tim also doing some ass spanking! We also get some good footage of the new boobies and Hillary then sits back to do a little pussy/ ass fingering. Hillary then moves over and gives Tim the POV look like she wanted to whip out his pig sausage but lucky or I guess unlucky for Tim the squad comes over per his request and rescues him.
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Review brief: Teen Fuck Holes 3 Studio: Platinum X Pictures Category: Barely Legal Director: Tim Von Swine Starring: Sean Michaels, John Strong, Randy Spears, Tiffany Taylor, Manuel Ferrara, Steven French, Marcos Leon, Nilla, Lindsay Lane, Andrea Ash, Zoie J. Synopsis Here we go again with another effort from Tim V. Swine and PXP, and judging for the cover with tiffany and her fabulous tits, tits...
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Review brief: Here we have a chance to appreciate some fine looking ladies through the eyes of a pig,lol!! Tim Von Swine has brought an impressive group of young ladies together and the girls do a variety of fun activities in their scenes which have been nicely documented in the reviews already published for this title. My take is pretty similar so I'll cover the scenes which really got my blood boiling. I do need to say the cover shot of Tiffany Taylor was just beautiful to gaze at, I have to say I love a girl with nice boobs and Tiffany's got a gorgeous set!! So let me hit a couple scenes which took me for a nice ride. Andrea Ash: We begin with Andrea introducing herself to us and Tim procedes to have a short conversation with this young lady while also taking the opportunity to fondle her very nice rack. I like how he gets the girls at ease before unleashing a hard cock on them. 36C are the size of her good looking tits, liked the floor shots too we got for this tease. Bringing in Manuel Ferrara was a good choice as he brings out a good scene just about every time.
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Review brief: Prologue I know the title of this series sucks. Just another example of the contempt porn shows for their lifesblood. It's supposed to be funny, I know. But it's mean just the same. So why did I pick this up? Mostly because covergirl Brooklyn Night impressed me in Semen Sippers 4 and also bears the name of my homeland. Another compelling reason is Simone West. An incredibly cute black woman who can't seem to get nailed hard enough to suit her. I'm familiar with big breasted Gianna and the very shrill, but cute, Jamie Elle. Lana Peaches and Chase Chandler are new to me. The studio is PXP, so that usually means better than average male talent to keep things rolling. Let's see if Tim Von Swine can get past the wiseguy attitude and deliver something special. Chase Chandler is a 20 yr. old dirty blond with lighter streaks. She's pretty and has a body packed with ample and smooth flesh. Von Swine asks her what makes her a whore.
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Review brief: The thing that surprised me most about this video was the cover girl, Tiffany Taylor. I have seen many movies from her including her past incarnation as Heather Hunt and was never really impressed with her performance level despite her good looks. I wondered what Tiffany would be doing in a Platinum X movie. Then when I played the movie, the first thing that popped up was Randy Spears which surprised me again since I'm used to him doing his acting chops for features. He has a distinct manner of speaking and it was funny to see him waste his acting chops on introducing Tiffany as a teen fuck hole. Kind of a vulgar term coming from Randy. The most surprising thing was that Tiffany put in a good scene. Either it was Von Swine's direction, working with Randy, or just sheer improvement over time, she seems into the sex. As for the other girls, I liked all except the last scene Zoie J. Her body just doesn't fit my idea of a teen and I didn't care much about her face either.
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Review brief: Well fans it's time for a little thing we call Whore Time!! All these young ladies which you will soon watch fuck all have one thing in common- they are just another whore but hey it doesn't mean we can't like them or even lust after them which I think is the chief aim! You have a nice mixture here too from the petite Kat to the relative newbie Bambi and the one young girl I'm totally nuts over being in this is Tiffany Rayne who has just burst onto my screen in the last month or so and I can't seem to get enough of this sexy New Jersey babe. Tim has an easy going style which is easy on the eyes and well hard on your cock!! Let's hit a few highlights to wet your appetite. Kat: This girl may be the shortest one in the cast but she's a fucking 7-footer when it comes to fucking. Kat can handle any cock thrown her way and come back begging for more which is why she's got quite the following. Her scene actually anchors this disc and we begin with Tim having a casual conversation with this skinny sexy lady.
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Review brief: Where's the Cum? #2 Produced 07/05 Platinum X Pictures (www.clubplatinumx.com) 170 minutes Directed by: Tim Von Swine Starring: Saana, Brianna Love, Claire Robbins, Trinity Post, Kelly Wells, Carmen Sancha, Sara Stone, Brad Baldwin, Arnold Schwarzenpecker, Carlton Banks, Dick Nasty, Jason Horne, Lefty LaRue, Marcos Leon, Mark Furious, Tone"F.T.W." Capone, Kyle Stone and Tim Von Swine. Check out my reviews at www.lsbreviews.com Gonzo Oral Where's the Cum? #2 is almost three hours and features seven girls blow banging several guys before swallowing multiple loads of cum. Most scenes begin with the girl chatting with director Tim Von Swine. He asks them some personal sexual questions and they talk dirty with their responses. The ladies then begin sucking cock, which includes plenty of deep throating. The girls don't get fucked, but the guys do play with their pussy's and there's some pussy licking.
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Review brief: Teen Fuck Holes #3 Produced 08/05 Platinum X Pictures (www.platinumxpictures.com) 134 minutes Directed by: Tim Von Swine Starring: Tiffany Taylor, Andrea Ash, Nilla, Zoie J, Lindsay Layne (Lindsay Lane), Marcos Leon, Steven French, John Strong, Sean Michaels, Manuel Ferrara, Randy Spears and Tim Von Swine (DVD only) Check out my reviews at www.lsbreviews.com Gonzo No Condoms Young newbies are on the menu in Teen Fuck Holes #3. Boxcover girl Tiffany Taylor and Andrea Ash are both beautiful brunettes, and one look at Lindsay Layne had me thinking of Jamie-Lynn DiScala (aka Meadow Soprano). There are five scenes. Cute blondes Nilla and Zoie are fucked anally, as is Lindsay, who along with Nilla, is also double penetrated. The cumshots are all oral/facials, with all the girls swallowing cum, except Tiffany. Nilla performs in the only interracial scene in her threeway scene with Sean Michaels and John Strong. Andrea's pussy starts flowing as Manuel fingers her pussy.
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Boxcover for Swine's P.O.V.
Swine's P.O.V. 

Release date: 9/9/2005
Reviewed on: 10/12/2005 by bono-one

Starring: Lea Stevenson, Tim Von Swine, Sunny Lane, Nikki Nievez, Andrea Ash, Haley Paige
Studio: Platinum X Pictures

Directed by: Tim Von Swine
Review brief: Having just reviewed a POV title I'm in the zone so here comes one in this genre helmed by the Pigman himself, Tim Von Swine. Ok if you can get past the fact he's fucking these hotties, I mean Haley Paige and Sunny Lane are among his conquests in this one so kudos to Tim for booking this ladies. I'll try to block out the fact he's boning these hotties,lol. Let's hit some highlights! Haley Paige: Ok this party gets started with this busty babe. A bare bones location, a hotel room serves nicely to showcase Haley and her incredible body. Tim likes to talk to the ladies and since he's the male talent we can take our time before getting to the action but I want to see those tits so let's FF, lol. After a short bit Haley pulls those boobs out and for those who wonder 12 was the age these magnificent beauties started growing. Haley also has an easy going demeanor about her that sets her above a lot of girls for me. Tim lets the camera drink in her bod which also includes a fine bootie.
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Review brief: Welcome to another Tim Von Swine pig in a poke feature though this time his piglet stays holstered, hence it's an interracial title, well if he'd brought in Marie Luv perhaps then he could have jumped in but I digress,lol. Tim has brought in a nice group of young ladies who all have a desire for some black cock and leading the way would have to be the squirting sensation Flower Tucci. Let's hit a few highlights for each scene. Brianna Love: Our first girl up just happens to be the covergirl, but first we get some chat with Tim and Tee Reel before seeing the girl. Panning over we then see Brianna sitting and Tim like to talk with the girls before the action gets going to heavy. She reminds me a little of Teagan in the face and the similarities also extend to the perky tits and you see she's also possessing a nice ass when Tim lets her stand up. I like this girls fun loving attitude and she seems eager to please.
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Review brief: A Tim Von Swine movie, this movie features a bevy of white girls plugged by either a Mr. Tee Reel or a Mr. Sean Michaels or sometimes both. You know... By looking at the cover, there's is a sphincter instead of an o in "Holes" so I expected every girl to give up the butt but that wasn't the case. Von Swine introduces each scene by interviewing the girl gonzostyle while acting as the cameraman. At times, you get the feeling that he wants to drop the camera and jump in if the title didn't begin with the word Interracial. The reason I wanted to watch this movie was the cover girl, Brianna Love. Brianna was the only girl in the movie that didn't get her sphincter probed by a chocolate stick. Not that I was disappointed in Brianna's scene. Having run into her in passing at Erotica LA, I was a bit surprised to hear her high squealed voice on video similar to Gigi from Cum Drippers 8. Beautiful lithe blonde with a flat chest, beautiful bunda butt, and a mole on her brow. Tee puts her through a workout but it wasn't my favourite scene.
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Review brief: Well I just reviewed it's cousin over at RLD called Cum Glazed and here the ending is the girls swallowing the jizz instead of it glazing their pretty faces and that's the finish I like more having them gargle the jizz and then swallowing. Tim's brought a another fine group of girls along for the ride and rather than go scene by scene I'll just give some impressions of what I felt went on. The scenes again follow a similar pattern, the girls have a few words with Tim perhaps before the swinging cocks are brought before them. Some take on two maybe but I seem to recall most of the ladies taking on at least 3 cocks and to me that seemed like an ideal number though I think two maybe the best, no odd cock left out but then again the more the merrier so who knows eh! As for energy you can't top Kelly 'fuckin' Wells who just attacks the dicks put before her mouth and like another blond cockslut, Hillary Scott, we see Kelly's makeup smudged all to hell by scenes end due to the sheer force of the dicks slamming down her throat no less.
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Review brief: Well this title certainly doesn't pull any punches, these girls are all just another whore and it's the Pigman himself, Tim Von Swine who brings them to the plate, serves them up, and now it's your turn to devour them!! Brooklyn Night makes for an appealing cover model showing off her delictable ass and I see also Jamie Elle is in this along with Gianna who has two humongous hooters to play with so lots to see her and I suspect Tim will interject with a comment or two and perhaps one of these ladies will be tasting some pig sauce in the extras, stay tuned to find out! I'll cover a few scenes to give you some flavor, no need to spill everything otherwise there's no mystery,lol. Lana Peaches & Gianna: I skip to this scene because of the wonderful tits of Gianna's and we start this scene with Lana teasing us, a little pussy tease and then it's a turn around to show off her ass which looks pretty good. Meanwhile, we find Gianna on a couch with those huge knockers already out and she does a little pussy massaging before we fade out.
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Review brief: Jersey Jaxin, Riley Rider and Brooklyn are the highlights of this Tim Von Swine directed DVD with a couple of very intense b/b/g threesomes. This time around, each separate scene has a little intro story that leads into the sex which is a refreshing change of pace from the usual gonzo interview before banging formula. Scene breakdown as follows. Jersey Jaxin This petite cutie looks so innocent except for the numerous tats that she has on her back, arms and around her belly button. Jersey is the pool girl doing an inadequate job and Jon Dough and John Strong are looking to find some other use for her. A very hard , very messy blowjob sequence follows, which results in poor Jersey's throat getting stuffed and runny eye make-up and drool everywhere. The energy level remains high for the sex with Jersey's mouth and pussy getting banged hard. Although she doesn't do a proper DP here - she gets hammered very hard in pile driver, doggy and gets passed between the 2 Johns for standing cowgirl. Mr.
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Review brief: Like most other reviewers, I have no formal training in reviewing kitchen appliances, cleaning supplies, porn or any other item. Yet, I can say that I love my new LG 22744 refrigerator with bottom freezer. It is so wonderful not to keep bending down to look in your refrigerator everything is eye level. The lighting is terrific, really bright. The water dispenser keeps the water nicely cold, and the filter gives it a great taste. Ah, but you say youd rather read about sexually explicit movies? I actually thought this one was pretty good. And chances are youll like it better than I do. That seems strange to say, but I'm not the greatest fan of Platinum X.
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Review brief: Dirty Birds Studio: Platinum X Pictures Director: Tim Von Swine Editor: Brad Stark Year: 2005 Feature Time: 2:22:14 Extras: Behind the Scenes / Bonus Footage / Trailers (0:29:23) Starring: Alicia Rhodes (Cover Girl) Isabel Ice Poppy Morgan Michelle Barratt Sophie Dee Themes: European Von Swine has me ready for some fresh-baked British tarts in this title spotlighting strumpets from across the pond. These "Dirty Birds" are the best porno talent the British Isles have to offer! There's something about a girl dirty talking in an English accent while getting fucked that really gets the old juices flowing. Looking at the line-up I see we have some premier dirty talk artists in Poppy, Michelle, and Alicia. Scene 1: Poppy Morgan and Tee Reel Poppy starts this movie off right with a fiery performance. She seems like the filthiest of birds in this effort filled with dirty talk. Tee Reel gives her a fucking she won't soon forget where Poppy acts like an animal in heat. Poppy starts off with a real sloppy blowjob where Tee's cock gets covered in spit.
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Review brief: Here we go with a dvd featuring some hot young babes who like cock-- that might cover just about every dvd except g/g but Tim Von Swine brings a little humor too to the process and it's always cool to check out the hole new talent as most girls here seem to be fairly new to the biz. So sit back and watch as hot young teens get their dirty fuck holes cleaned out by throbbing cocks-- how's that for romance language! Jersey Jaxin: Our first scene begins with two johns-- Strong and Dough standing over a pool discussing the need for cleaning to it and who comes strolling up but a hot young babe to do just that. Jersey is dressed in some military style gear but really who cares it's skimpy and she's going to be out of it in no time. The two guys quiz her on the qualifications and it seems this is a summer job for Jersey and she wants to do whatever it takes to get the job done so you know what happens next. The chemicals are put away and the trio head inside where Jersey must check out a different set of poles namely the two attached to the gentlemans frontsides.
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Review brief: Who has my attention at the moment:  Mary Anne. Flawlessly fresh face, flawless skin. Gorgeously round, supple bum and tiny, perky tits- think Teagan in her early days. Brand spanking new and she already does all the dirty stuff. 'Nuff said.  Director: Tim Von Swine Camera: Tim Von Swine? Genre: Gonzo Release: 4/05 Notes:  act 1: Poppy Morgan  vs. Tee Real    Poppy: "I came to America to fuck all these American boys... right here in my love tunnel."  OVERALL SCORE:  4 Vaginal, stockings, Facial Poppy puts in a very, very intense scene here, with her screaming at the top of her lungs and biting her partner. She repeatedly screams at Tee, calling him a 'dirty bastard' as he pounds her into oblivion.
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