All All Sex Movie Reviews directed by Tim Von Swine

Showing 1 - 24 of 24 Reviews
Review brief: Dirty Birds Get Ready To Eat Crow! Director: Tim Von Swine Studio: Platinum X Pictures Running: 140 min Genre: Gonzo - Euro Release: 2005 I dont know about you, but I cant watch porn unless I have a reason. Im not a big fan of Euro women, but a couple do turn my crank, and they happen to be in this title. 1 is the ass fucked Poppy Morgan an 2 is the fake tittied Michelle B. Prepare for the PCP transmission of Dirt Birds (This aint no Red Robin!) Scene Breakdowns: Poppy Morgan Lets start this off with Poppy Morgan. From the 1st time I saw her I knew I was seeing something special. She had solid potential, but her makeup was less than impressive. Today all the kinks have been worked out and there is no doubt why she was chosen to kick this off.
read the complete review
Review brief: The Mope Squad Mike Lyons Reviews Director Tim Von Swine Cast Naomi, Gianna, Misty May, Marquetta Jewel, Haley Scott, Arnold Schwartzenpecker, Kyle Stone, Mike Hash, Jason Horne, Lee Bang, Left Larue. Genre All Sex, Gangbang Condoms None. Running Time of Main Feature 2 Hr. 47 Mins. Female Orgasms 0 REVIEW: Alrighty, this is an early release by Vince Vouyer's latest venture--Vouyer Media. I've never been a big fan of Vince Vouyer, but I've always thought that Tim Von Swine seemed like a decent enough fellow, and I can get behind some of Von Swine's sexual fetishes.
read the complete review
Review brief: What I Liked All girls in this movie are attractive. Every scene the girls performance are intense and vocal. This is the first movie that I've seen where the women talk down to the men and keep asking then to pound them harder. No plot but theme seems to be Mope Squad can't handle real porn women. (1) Mysti May - playfulness, missionary (piledriver and anal) (4.5 out of 5) (2) Marquetta  Jewel - intense CG riding while giving BJ and facial (4 out of 5) (3) Gianna - forcefulness constantly asking for more pounding and CG camera angle (3.5 out of 5) (4) Naomi - All of it, incredible body, face and hair. This is the first time I've seen her get DP'd and it was good. Both men where moving during the DP the only flaw was that she never went balls deep. I guess I'll have to wait for her to get DP'd by the specialist DP companies like Red Light District, PlatinumX, Anabolic or Diabolic. Anal (missionary, doggie, CG, RCG and Creampie), DP (CG and RCG) and facial.
read the complete review
Review brief: The Little Details Running Time: 141 min. Production Date: 3 / 2 / 2005 Director: Tim Von Swine Cast: Alicia Rhodes, Isabel Ice, Michelle B., Poppy Morgan, Sophie Dee, John Strong, Jon Dough, Manuel Ferrara, Randy Spears, Robert Rosenberg, Steve Holmes, Tee Reel, and Toni Ribas The Short Story Initial Expectations: I havent seen anything from Von Swine yet, but Ive heard very good things about him and his movies. Even without that, with this cast I cant help but have high hopes. Initial Reaction: Its just as good as I hoped! Who Should Watch It : Fans of British women Who Should Avoid It: Anybody wanting an all anal movie The Technical Stuff Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are nicely done. The audio is clear and well balanced for the most part, but does stumble slightly a couple times. The video is much the same. It has just a hint of grain and is nicely lit. The only complaint I have about it is theres a few fast pans and zooms that just didnt work.
read the complete review
Review brief: One in The Pink, One in The Stick #6 Get Ready for Stinky Winky Director: Tim Von Swine Studio: Red Light District Running: 140 min est. Genre: DP - Anal Release: February 2005 I can appreciate a good DP. But I have to admit that 1 on 1 with a kiss of anal will most likely always be my 1st choice. If you havent figured it out already there is a specific reason that this title was calling me. If the box didnt tip you, Ill tell you. Lisa Marie + Anal+ IR= Must See TV. This girl has a flawless natural figure and an ass that any straight man would crave. Scene Breakdowns: Lisa Marie With those wild wicked streaks in her hair, Lisa has never looked better. She has an ass like no other white woman I love and a big bright smile.
read the complete review
Review brief: Prologue I know the title of this series sucks. Just another example of the contempt porn shows for their lifesblood. It's supposed to be funny, I know. But it's mean just the same. So why did I pick this up? Mostly because covergirl Brooklyn Night impressed me in Semen Sippers 4 and also bears the name of my homeland. Another compelling reason is Simone West. An incredibly cute black woman who can't seem to get nailed hard enough to suit her. I'm familiar with big breasted Gianna and the very shrill, but cute, Jamie Elle. Lana Peaches and Chase Chandler are new to me. The studio is PXP, so that usually means better than average male talent to keep things rolling. Let's see if Tim Von Swine can get past the wiseguy attitude and deliver something special. Chase Chandler is a 20 yr. old dirty blond with lighter streaks. She's pretty and has a body packed with ample and smooth flesh. Von Swine asks her what makes her a whore.
read the complete review
Review brief: Well this title certainly doesn't pull any punches, these girls are all just another whore and it's the Pigman himself, Tim Von Swine who brings them to the plate, serves them up, and now it's your turn to devour them!! Brooklyn Night makes for an appealing cover model showing off her delictable ass and I see also Jamie Elle is in this along with Gianna who has two humongous hooters to play with so lots to see her and I suspect Tim will interject with a comment or two and perhaps one of these ladies will be tasting some pig sauce in the extras, stay tuned to find out! I'll cover a few scenes to give you some flavor, no need to spill everything otherwise there's no mystery,lol. Lana Peaches & Gianna: I skip to this scene because of the wonderful tits of Gianna's and we start this scene with Lana teasing us, a little pussy tease and then it's a turn around to show off her ass which looks pretty good. Meanwhile, we find Gianna on a couch with those huge knockers already out and she does a little pussy massaging before we fade out.
read the complete review
Review brief: Jersey Jaxin, Riley Rider and Brooklyn are the highlights of this Tim Von Swine directed DVD with a couple of very intense b/b/g threesomes. This time around, each separate scene has a little intro story that leads into the sex which is a refreshing change of pace from the usual gonzo interview before banging formula. Scene breakdown as follows. Jersey Jaxin This petite cutie looks so innocent except for the numerous tats that she has on her back, arms and around her belly button. Jersey is the pool girl doing an inadequate job and Jon Dough and John Strong are looking to find some other use for her. A very hard , very messy blowjob sequence follows, which results in poor Jersey's throat getting stuffed and runny eye make-up and drool everywhere. The energy level remains high for the sex with Jersey's mouth and pussy getting banged hard. Although she doesn't do a proper DP here - she gets hammered very hard in pile driver, doggy and gets passed between the 2 Johns for standing cowgirl. Mr.
read the complete review
Review brief: Like most other reviewers, I have no formal training in reviewing kitchen appliances, cleaning supplies, porn or any other item. Yet, I can say that I love my new LG 22744 refrigerator with bottom freezer. It is so wonderful not to keep bending down to look in your refrigerator everything is eye level. The lighting is terrific, really bright. The water dispenser keeps the water nicely cold, and the filter gives it a great taste. Ah, but you say youd rather read about sexually explicit movies? I actually thought this one was pretty good. And chances are youll like it better than I do. That seems strange to say, but I'm not the greatest fan of Platinum X.
read the complete review
Review brief: Dirty Birds Studio: Platinum X Pictures Director: Tim Von Swine Editor: Brad Stark Year: 2005 Feature Time: 2:22:14 Extras: Behind the Scenes / Bonus Footage / Trailers (0:29:23) Starring: Alicia Rhodes (Cover Girl) Isabel Ice Poppy Morgan Michelle Barratt Sophie Dee Themes: European Von Swine has me ready for some fresh-baked British tarts in this title spotlighting strumpets from across the pond. These "Dirty Birds" are the best porno talent the British Isles have to offer! There's something about a girl dirty talking in an English accent while getting fucked that really gets the old juices flowing. Looking at the line-up I see we have some premier dirty talk artists in Poppy, Michelle, and Alicia. Scene 1: Poppy Morgan and Tee Reel Poppy starts this movie off right with a fiery performance. She seems like the filthiest of birds in this effort filled with dirty talk. Tee Reel gives her a fucking she won't soon forget where Poppy acts like an animal in heat. Poppy starts off with a real sloppy blowjob where Tee's cock gets covered in spit.
read the complete review
Review brief: Here we go with a dvd featuring some hot young babes who like cock-- that might cover just about every dvd except g/g but Tim Von Swine brings a little humor too to the process and it's always cool to check out the hole new talent as most girls here seem to be fairly new to the biz. So sit back and watch as hot young teens get their dirty fuck holes cleaned out by throbbing cocks-- how's that for romance language! Jersey Jaxin: Our first scene begins with two johns-- Strong and Dough standing over a pool discussing the need for cleaning to it and who comes strolling up but a hot young babe to do just that. Jersey is dressed in some military style gear but really who cares it's skimpy and she's going to be out of it in no time. The two guys quiz her on the qualifications and it seems this is a summer job for Jersey and she wants to do whatever it takes to get the job done so you know what happens next. The chemicals are put away and the trio head inside where Jersey must check out a different set of poles namely the two attached to the gentlemans frontsides.
read the complete review
Review brief: Who has my attention at the moment:  Mary Anne. Flawlessly fresh face, flawless skin. Gorgeously round, supple bum and tiny, perky tits- think Teagan in her early days. Brand spanking new and she already does all the dirty stuff. 'Nuff said.  Director: Tim Von Swine Camera: Tim Von Swine? Genre: Gonzo Release: 4/05 Notes:  act 1: Poppy Morgan  vs. Tee Real    Poppy: "I came to America to fuck all these American boys... right here in my love tunnel."  OVERALL SCORE:  4 Vaginal, stockings, Facial Poppy puts in a very, very intense scene here, with her screaming at the top of her lungs and biting her partner. She repeatedly screams at Tee, calling him a 'dirty bastard' as he pounds her into oblivion.
read the complete review
Review brief: Well fans we've got some hot talent from over the pond in this one led by the filthy delightful Alicia Rhodes and another personal fave Poppy Morgan graces the blue screen in this title. You've probably read Vinh's review on this one so I won't go much further just give my impressions of what I saw. Poppy Morgan: To lead off please allow me a personal comment, Poppy is such a delight to talk to in person and meeting her the first time live I was struck at just how beautiful she really is and I just hope you see a bit of that come across on screen. She has a good dirty mouth too that she knows how to use and along with her sterling body I'd say she's got a most interesting package worth unwrapping. As for this scene we see that gorgeous face right off and she does a good job playing with her body.
read the complete review
Review brief: Before I start this review, I must make some disclosures. I'm friends with both Poppy Morgan and Van Swine and had the opportunity to preview the Alicia Rhodes scene... live. I don't know what is it about British girls but they drive me nuts. I think it's cause I can barely understand half of what their dirty talk even though they're speaking english due to the accent and slang. Poppy Morgan: Von Swine interviews Poppy on some of the British stereotype. We find out she loves Tia Maria but I already know that. Poppy is paired up with Tee Real in an active sex scene. As Tee says, "It's all true. They all love Tee" (tea). Poppy is more expressive than I remember from some of her older scenes. Even though this scene was strictly vagina, she bites down on Tee's fist, pulls down his head and begs him to fuck her harder. Very good scene. Michelle B: Michelle has been in porn for about a year and she likes to get her dirtbox stuffed. We find out that the dirtbox is slang for her butt.
read the complete review
Review brief: Sex & Groping Studio: Platinum X Pictures Director: Tim Von Swine Editor: Johnny Fly Year: 2005 Feature Time: 2:47:30 Extras: Behind the Scenes and Trailers (0:12:13) Starring: Persia (Cover Girl) Sintia Stone Gianna Erin Moore Myaluanna Themes: Gonzo I watch a lot of Red Light District and Platinum X movies but this is the first one I've seen from new director Tim Von Swine. The theme appears to be a kind of "reality" porn where Tim films some girls getting crazy in hotel rooms in Las Vegas. I heard it from the man himself (Von Swine) that the movie was originally supposed to be much longer, and a lot of the background material (convention footage etc.) was excised from the movie, unfortunately. What we have here is pretty good, though, five long gonzo sex romps with some new (and unknown for the most part to me) young starlets. Another thing that must be mentioned is the fact that "Sex & Groping" is watermarked. There's a faint watermark in the lower right-hand corner of the screen the entire time.
read the complete review
Review brief: Sex and Groping Directed By: Tim Von Swine- Initial Thoughts: This is sort of like PXP goes wild, or something along those lines, there is a definate campus esque vibe going on around this disc. The idea is supposed to be that all of this is taking place in Vegas, aparently during the awards and expo weekend there, and they just decided to shoot a bunch of scenes in the hotels and the like. For the most part, it's a hot disc, there is a ton of hot sex here and a couple of new girls to both my eyes, and the porn camera that are definately going to be getting some more looks, and established talent to get things going smoothly. Some of the disc is shot kind of like bystander POV, as in your the guy watching the whole thing happen, and it's a bit different and interesting, bt at times the frat style of a couple of the scenes is not ideal to my way of thinking. But if you like series like "College Invasion" or even the softcore "Girls Gone Wild" discs, there are a few similarities here at times that you will appreciate.
read the complete review
Review brief: I like this series. And I like the name. Naughty but not overly nasty. Since I watched this title and one called She Takes Two (same genre) from New Sensations the same night and back-to-back it almost makes sense to compare Pink/Stink to it. Overall, She Takes Two is a superior product but Im still giving a favorable review to Pink/Stink. It does contain some great anal poking. But you have to take all the great action with the flaws skin flaws on the girls such as the dreaded ass pimples and some face pimples, razor bumps around the puss and on one girl, bruises. Combine this with average lighting and an average camera the product does not approach the beautiful visual look and appeal of a title like She Takes Two. (It actually seems like the camera here accentuates the color red which makes any blemish stand out more.) But enough about other titles and ass pimples and surely I have a trashy, shit encrusted butt that would be laughed at across the nation. Hairy too. Luckily my hinder doesnt need to pay the bills. My favorite scene is little Deja Daire.
read the complete review
Review brief: Really basic premise guys: every girl in the movie gets one in the pink, another in the stink. A double penetration movie that features that freaking RLD watermark at all times. Lisa Marie satisfies the curiousity of anyone who ever wondered what Jenna Elfman looks like getting dp'd. Her interview with Von Swine is relaxed and funny and she shows the shocker hand sign more than once! Tee Real and John Strong get the pleasure of putting her in sexual agony. She's only done two dps in the past two years so she strains pretty hard. The first thing you notice about Deja Daire is the huge bruises on the side of her ass. Apparently the bruises come from some bondage scene she did. I automatically suspect Bono's wife. Otherwise she looks stunning. This was my favourite scene as she is well penetrated by Stefano and Ferrara. Okay, normally I love redheads and I love Crystal Ray and I personally knew a hot redhead named Allison White.
read the complete review
Review brief: Welcome to a new romantic jizzfest courtesy of the mind of Mr. Tim Von Swine. I haven't reviewed to many Latina titles but do think the girls I see her a very hot. I am somewhat familiar with Avy Lee Roth having seen her in a few titles and Chanel Chavez as well. So let's get right to the action shall we. Meagan Martinez: We start with a very cute young latina sitting on a couch wearing some sexy lingerie. Swine is there to have a chat with the girl and you get the usual questions but really you are checking this hot babe out aren't you, heck Swine is with his camera. We get a great spread open leg shot by Meagan and she pulls her panties aside letting us see her snatch. We learn she hasn't slept with that many guys before trying out the porn biz. Swine also gets to pull directors privelege and cop a feel on her nice tits. Michael Stefano then joins in and he certainly knows what to do. There are few laughs as they start the scene with him feeling her boobs and he also samples them before moving down to eat her pussy.
read the complete review
Review brief: Nasty Hardcore Latinas Volume 2 Initial Thoughts: Jessica Dee directed the first volume in this series, and it was one of my favorite discs of the year, and probably my favorite Latina disc. So I had to check out the second volume in the series, but I was a little shocked to see that Tim Von Swine had taken over the directing duties, not sure as to why, but not to worry, he has successfully picked up the torch and carried on the series in a good way. There is so many super sexy Latina girls out there now, and this cast is full of them, and thier all more than willing to get the job done, it seems like the enthusiasm level in porn has gone up in the last few months, there are a lot of discs that have such willing ladies, and this one is right up there.
read the complete review
Review brief: Here we have another teen title but it features the very cute Keri Sable on the cover and inside we have the fiery Kat doing a scene and another girl I've really started to like a lot, Hillary Scott also graces the blue screen. I see two other reviews so I'll give my general impressions of how the disc went for me. Kat: You start with Steve Holmes and Michael Stefano outside chillin while Von Swine shoots them and the guys talk. Soon they go for a walk finding cute little Kat smoking also. She looks good in her yellow outfit but with Michael and Steve you know it won't take long until she is out of those clothes. Her tits get some early attention and Kat gets a giggle or two out before she starts in on sucking their cocks. This girl has fun in her scenes that I've watched and she looks to be enjoying herself here as well. Michael eats her ass some before they move to some double sucking by Kat with great eye contact from her. Sexwise you get mish anal, spoon anal plus some rimming by Kat, then it's a hot reverse cowgirl anal with dp.
read the complete review
Review brief: Teen Fuck Holes Initial Thoughts: Well with a title like "Teen Fuck Holes", the idea behind the movie shouldn't be too hard to figure out, youthfull woman getting fucked. One of the keys to me in these themed movies, is to actually use young looking girls, too many times you see girls that are still probably pretty young, but are well past being 18-19 years old. This one though delivers very well, some really cute looking girls that for the most part are likely pre 20 years old. On top of that these are some pretty well known newer girls, and they put on quite the show, the male cast is about as strong as it gets in porn, and that really helps bring out the best in the ladies. Just about every scene starts out with a simple but fun script, and it borders on being mini vignettes for some of them, the sex is energetic and chemistry is strong at most instances. Extras are pretty nice with a bonus POV scene among them, and overall this was a very good disc.
read the complete review
Review brief: I must make a confession. Tim Von Swine, the director of this movie, is a friend of mine but I had never actually watched a video that he directed. I've seen his camerawork before since he works for some of the other directors at RLD and PXP. This may be a biased review though. However, I decided to remove any bias by drinking a shitload of beer before watching this movie. Just to be certain, I made sure it was Paulaner Hefeweizen instead of the mexican beer that we both like to drink Keri Sable, Michael Stefano, and Steve Holmes: This is the first video I've seen Steve with his beard that I had spotted in Vegas. Stefano and Holmes jabber with Swine a bit before Kat joins them. I've already mentioned that I'm not too big into little girls with braces but Kat has certain appealing qualities about her despite this misgving. She gives deep blowjobs but looks a little uncomfortable doing so with those bulging eyes. They look like a frog peering out of the water with how wide open they are.
read the complete review
Review brief: Well it's on to review #3 for the day and what is there to slip into the player but this nice 2 on 1 series from Red Light. I see my onscreen wife makes an appearance along with the gorgeous blond Holly Wellin who impressed at the Evil Angel booth this year and also Isabel Ice who made many friends I'm sure at Platinum's booth. Well they are here for this bit of anal and pussy loving along with Alex Divine and Jasmine Byrne so I say let's jump right in. Holly Wellin: We get going with some great shots of Holly crawling on a bed towards the camera, here tits already spilling out of her outfit. Holly also shows off her other areas of interest namely her bootie and some fingers make their way into both holes. You get lots of images of Holly here doing some fine boob caressing, some pussy play and this all serves to set us up for one good scene I hope. Holly is then interviewed briefly and we see those boobs come out to play again and some nice squeezing is done to those melons.
read the complete review
Page 1 of 0 
Current Filters
All Sex X
Tim Von Swine X

Available Filters
Trailers (2)

Category

Studio