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Oatmeal's Movie Reviews

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Boxcover for Editor's Choice: Celeste
Editor's Choice: Celeste 

Release date: 10/20/2005
Reviewed on: 1/6/2006

Starring: Asia Carrera, Dyanna Lauren, T.T. Boy, Bobby Vitale, Steven St. Croix, Mark Davis, Randy Spears, Celeste, Rocco Siffredi, Tammi Ann, Chennin Blanc, Eric Masterson, Renee Larue, Nancy Vee, Jordan Haze, Vicky Vette
Studio: Vivid

Review brief: It's time to give back to the ADT collective with a quick review of Vivid's Editor's Choice: Celeste. Let me start by staying that Celeste is my ultimate woman, gorgeous, brunette, busty, curvy and dirty. The only complaints I've ever had are the awful plastic surgery scars around her nipples and her habit of spitting on cocks during a blow job. When you start the DVD you're greeted by just over 5 minutes of commercials before you even get to the main menu. Your only option is to fast-forward through them. The Menus are simple but most of them lead to commercials (More Adult Fun, The Web and Vivid Products). The 10 main scenes of this title all involve Celeste for a total of 110 minutes. Remember that these scenes are 10 years old, that's before DVD and 30 minute gonzo scenes. That's better than some of the compilations out there such as New Machine's Exposed series. The only problems with the scenes are they don't have chapter breaks and the video quality is below average.
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Boxcover for Education Of Claire, The (L'Education De Claire)
Education Of Claire, The (L'Education De Claire) 

Release date: 7/1/2004
Reviewed on: 2/3/2005

Starring: Christophe Clark, Frank Gun, Niki Blond, Barbarella, Dolores, Frank Gunn, Choky Ice, Mick Blue, Black Widow, Maya Gold, Melanie Coste, Csoky Ice, Nikki Blond, Dotty Love, Niki Belugie, Nikki Bellucci
Studio: Wicked

Directed by: Jorn Wolf
Review brief: I thought it was good but not great and would rate it a 7 out of 10. Here's my quick summary of the film. The Actors Beautiful Women and Men. Nothing to complain about. Melanie Coste, Barbarella, Maya Gold, Nikki Blond, Dolores, Dotty Love, Niki Belugie, Frank Gunn, Mick Blue, Choky Ice, Dr. Love, Ricardo Bell, and Clark. I'd give a scene by scene breakdown of the performers but it's tough to figure out who was who, especially the male actors. Video Quality Anamorphic Wide Screen and typical Dorcel quality video. If anything the colour of the outdoor shots were a bit dull (cloudy day). The metal shop scenes (in the basement of a mansion?) with the furnace had a nice warm look. Audio Quality Everything sounds good. It's offered in 5.1 surround but I didn't notice it being utilized (I listened to the English track). The over-dubbing wasn't terrible but it would have been better had they offered the original language and a set of English subtitles. Story It's a typical fantasy porn storyline...
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