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NeoBumCleaver's Movie Reviews

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Boxcover for Major Slut
Major Slut 

Release date: 5/31/2002
Reviewed on: 3/19/2006

Starring: Marc Wallice, Don Fernando, Tony Martino, Shaunee Cates, Tiffany Wong, Natasia
Studio: Cream

Review brief: Introduction Major Slut is the first and hopefully last film I ever view from Cream Entertainment. It deals with the adventures of a hot slutty army chick who happens to be named Major Slut. This is one of the more unimpressive pornos Ive seen in a while. The first thing that happened when I put Major Slut in the dvd player was I was treated to a bunch of advertisements, mostly for phone sex numbers. The movies menu called the commercial a trailer. the funny thing about it is Ive probably watched these commercials more than Ive watched the movie. These one minute little clips are better than the film Major Slut. Most of them are just a girl sucking a dick and telling you to call the number, but they say some pretty hot dirty talk while theyre trying to get into your wallet so its kind of hot. When all the advertisements were over the menu for the movie came on. I clicked on play movie and my adventure, or perhaps misadventure with Major Slut began. Plot The entire movie of Major Slut seems to be a series of dreams playing out in the character, Major Sluts head.
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Boxcover for Hot Slut Orgies
Hot Slut Orgies 

Release date: 6/11/2001
Reviewed on: 1/27/2006

Starring: Nikki Randall, Hillary Summers, Tiffany Jordan, Veri Knotty, Laurien Dominique, Susan Nero, Kyoto Sun
Studio: Classic X

Review brief: INTRODUCTION My newest XXX movie review is a peek at a delightful, group-sex themed porno, known as Hot Slut Orgies. Hot Slut Orgies was originally released in 1976 and many people consider the 70's THE decade for porno, with movies like Hot Slut Orgies who could blame them? This movie is entertaining and doesnt fail to deliver group sex in more than half the scenes, but whether the average joe will find this movie sexy in the traditional sense is up for question. There are a lot of people out there who like to watch porn containing generic looking porn starlets with perfect silicone tits and plastic bodies to get themselves off, (and who can blame them since their girlfriends are so ugly.) If you are one of these types then Hot Slut Orgies probably isnt for you.
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Boxcover for Teenage Hustler (Classic X)
Teenage Hustler (Classic X) 

Release date: 10/15/2001
Reviewed on: 1/21/2006

Starring: Olinka, Franklin Clemente, Rick Martino, Glenda Turner, Barbara O'Farrell, Liz Wilson
Studio: Classic X

Directed by: Ricado Malatoté
Review brief: INTRODUCTION The first pornographic review Ill ever write is for a cheeky little film by the name of Teenage Hustler. The film is based around the antics of a young sex maniac by the name of English Billy who always puts women first and often gets into trouble as a result. Teenage Hustler is a light-hearted romp that will most likely keep its audience smiling, but at the same time the movie as several flaws that cannot be ignored and keep it from being a legendary masterpiece. The film opens with a female narrator with an English accent setting the scene in Hollywood, California. No matter their reasons for coming to Hollywood, they come, and come, and come. one of my favorite opening lines from a film.
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