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jayo's Classic Movie Reviews

Showing 1 - 22 of 22 Reviews
Boxcover for Memphis Cathouse Blues
Memphis Cathouse Blues 

Release date: 3/1/2005
Reviewed on: 1/25/2013

Starring: Mike Horner, Joey Silvera, Billy Dee, Danielle, Kay Parker, Michael Morrison, Lisa De Leeuw, Annette Haven, Jon Martin, Rhonda Jo Petty, Dorothy LeMay, Herschel Savage, K.C. Valentine
Studio: Caballero

Directed by: Louis Lewis
Review brief: A medicore movie from the "golden age" of features (1982) it's patterned after "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" with Annette Haven as the madame and Mike Horner as the sheriff who loves her. The movie is so-so but the DVD transfer is feces. If you want to see the movie, find it on VHS or Beta or on streaming video.
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Boxcover for Two-Way Mirror
Two-Way Mirror 

Release date: 12/8/2009
Reviewed on: 6/17/2012

Starring: Minnie Clayton, Blaire Jefferson, Shira Goodlow, Candice Lipton
Studio: Cal Vista Classics

Directed by: Tom Booker
Review brief: An obscure english-language (i.e. dubbed) feature from Europe circa 1985, starring nobody you ever heard of. The actresses have natural (and small) boobs (which is fine if you like 'em that way), the sex is pretty vanilla, but with an emphasis on fellatio, you get the crap music soundtrack, and a collection of extras (four scenes and a bunch of trailers) of dubious value. I'd recommend it only if you're already aware of the title and want it, or you recognize one of the performers. Otherwise, it's just not worth the time.
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Boxcover for Private Teacher
Private Teacher 

Release date: 12/15/2000
Reviewed on: 4/22/2012

Starring: Tom Byron, Paul Thomas, Marc Wallice, Joanna Storm, Eric Edwards, Kay Parker, Blair Harris, Laurie Smith, Honey Wilder, Janey Robbins
Studio: Caballero

Directed by: Robert McCallum
Review brief: A feature from the early 80s. Kay Parker is a therapist brought in to coax withdrawn teen Tom Byron out of his shell. Mainly MF sex with one FF bathtub scene, one solo-female scene, and a brief j/o by Tom Byron. Your opinion will largely depend on whether you like Playboy or Hustler, as this is definitely the former. Sex is vanilla and not so explicit as modern stuff. Kay Parker is only in one sex scene. But overall it's fun and well done.
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Boxcover for Nasty Girls (VCX)
Nasty Girls (VCX) 

Release date: 5/10/2010
Reviewed on: 12/31/2011

Starring: Sharon Kane, Sharon Mitchell, Joanna Storm, Tiffany Clark, Kelly Nichols, R. Bolla, Ashley Moore, Alan Adrian, Fred Lincoln
Studio: VCX

Directed by: Henri Pachard
Review brief: I've watched a fair number of "classics" and most of them suck. This one's actually pretty good. It attempts to be a little better than the average porno without turning into a pretentous piece of shit. The original film was quality and the DVD transfer is done well. Best of all you get some stars when they were young and smoking, like Sharon Mitchell and Joanna Storm. I don't know why I've never heard of this one beforeif you like films from that era (about 1983), it's definitely worth a look.
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Boxcover for Three Cheers For B J U
Three Cheers For B J U 

Release date: 5/10/2010
Reviewed on: 12/30/2011

Starring: Michelle, Kitty, Sherry, Sharon Thorpe, Linda Lovewhip, Sheri Suzette, Suzzette
Studio: VCX

Review brief: Three broke hookers attend Linda Lovewhip's cock-sucking academy. Lesbian and straight-sex orgies ensue, with cock-sucking as the main feature. The film looks like it was shot on super 8 with WW2 surplus film stock. Sound is murky and the music is awful. Not worth a penny.
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Boxcover for Voluptuous Naturals (Alpha Blue Archives)
Voluptuous Naturals (Alpha Blue Archives) 

Release date: 9/1/2010
Reviewed on: 11/18/2011

Starring: Leslie Winston, Big Bertha, Roxanne Brewer, Lillian Parker
Studio: Alpha Blue Archives

Review brief: A collection of old stag reels from the late 60s and 70s featuring busty models in posing and simulated masturbation. Video quality varies from mediocre to nearly unwatchable. The sound is entirely a music track of obscure 60s psychadelic rock. None of the models are credited so who knows who's in it. Worthwhile only if you have a fetish for this kind of video.
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Boxcover for Free and Foxy
Free and Foxy 

Release date: 5/25/2004
Reviewed on: 11/12/2011

Studio: VCX

Review brief: Sixteen scenes of "outtakes" from various early 1980s feature porn. This is a who's who of porn stars from the era, including Honey Wilder, Ron Jeremy when he's still young, Becky Savage, Mike Ranger, Bunny Bleu, Cara Lott, Jennifer West, Kay Parker, Hershel Savage, Seka, Desiree Cousteau and John Holmes. The quality of the clips are good, but some are very short and end early there should be a This Film May Cause Blue-Balls warning label on the cover.
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Boxcover for Busty and Wet By Herself 2
Busty and Wet By Herself 2 

Release date: 12/22/2010
Reviewed on: 7/4/2011

Starring: Mona, Keli Stewart, Uschi Digard, Angel Cash, Mary Waters, Jaki
Studio: Alpha Blue Archives

Review brief: A collection of video centerfolds, mostly R-rated by modern standards, of some classic busty models from the Golden Age era. Typical Alpha Blue Archives low-effort production. If you really want to see Keli Stewart or Mary Waters moving around instead of in stills, it's good stuff. But if you want something more than just a video posing guide, keep your magazines or photosets and look elsewhere.
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Boxcover for Girl Service
Girl Service 

Release date: 12/8/2009
Reviewed on: 3/12/2011

Starring: Barry Vane, Zachary Strong, Mira Vane, Caro Keff, Rod Tuiet, Mara Dunn
Studio: Cal Vista Classics

Directed by: E. Tense
Review brief: Savoy says, "tell me a story through sex." Tell me a good story through sex, because this one sucks.
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Boxcover for Blonde, The (VCX)
Blonde, The (VCX) 

Release date: 12/1/2003
Reviewed on: 1/30/2011

Studio: VCX

Review brief: A unjustly forgotten feature from the "classic" era (1980). Annette Haven wears a blonde wig to play an old time movie actress who loved getting laid. The actress's house is now a hotel, so there's a lot of fooling around going on. Also appearing are Brooke West, Mai Lin, Dhaije Taan, Bonnie Holiday, Blair Harris, David Morris, Holly Page, Harmony, Nikki Anderson. If you like features from that era, check it out. The story is preposterous (as most are) but it's fun, Annette Haven was in her prime, and the soundtrack features some cool jazz to break up the monotony of crap porn rock. No anal, no cream pies, no pile-drivers, and definitely no condoms. But if you like your porn laid back and easy going, and it looks like the performers are actually having some fun, it's worth seeing.
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Boxcover for Big Tit Super Stars Of The 80's: Lotta Topp Collection
Big Tit Super Stars Of The 80's: Lotta Topp Collection 

Release date: 5/10/2006
Reviewed on: 12/5/2010

Starring: Lotta Topp
Studio: Alpha Blue Archives

Review brief: Lotta Topp is an obscurity, but should have been a star: she was rather pretty (I think she looks a little like Trinity Lauren), she has big breasts and a huge clit. And she did hardcore. This DVD is a collection of her clips from various films you probably never saw. Sex varies from straight MF to dildo masturbation and a little light lesbian. Video quality is fair, sound quality varies from acceptable to atrocious. No extras. Almost any question about this DVD could be answered by "because they couldn't do less." Worth getting if you're a Lotta Topp fan because there's almost nothing else. But only for that reason.
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Boxcover for Superstars Of Porno 1 (Cal Vista Classics)
Superstars Of Porno 1 (Cal Vista Classics) 

Release date: 4/8/2010
Reviewed on: 5/29/2010

Starring: Bunny Bleu, Amber Lynn, Mai Lin, Joey Silvera, Ron Jeremy, Nina Hartley, Joanna Storm, Kay Parker, Bridgette Monet, Harry Reems, Jerry Butler, Dave Cannon, Summer Rose
Studio: Cal Vista Classics

Review brief: An anthology of early 80s era porn. A couple people actually deserve the "superstar" status but most don't. The credits (and lack thereof) defy logic. Video quality is so-so, but the audio is unlistenable. It's a decent DVD if you're a fan of the performers and you want to see someone again, but overall it's mediocre at best. Lower your expectations and you may be satisfied.
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Boxcover for Aunt Peg Ultimate MILF
Aunt Peg Ultimate MILF 

Release date: 3/26/2010
Reviewed on: 5/16/2010

Starring: Sharon Kane, Jamie Gillis, John Holmes, John Leslie, Erica Boyer, Seka, Juliet Anderson, Suzanne French, Lemay
Studio: Cal Vista Classics

Review brief: An anthology of clips from Juliet Anderson (Aunt Peg)'s films. You either have to be a fan of hers, or be interested in the Golden Age (70s/80s) to appreciate this. If you are, it's a lot of fun. If you don't care for that period, then you'll probably find this too vanilla for your tastes.
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Boxcover for Insatiable (30th Anniversary Edition)
Insatiable (30th Anniversary Edition) 

Release date: 10/14/2009
Reviewed on: 2/21/2010

Starring: John Holmes, Marilyn Chambers, John Leslie, Jessie St. James, Serena, David Morris, Richard Pacheco, Mike Ranger, Joan Turner, Robert Pennard
Studio: Dynasty Group Distribution

Directed by: Godfrey Daniels
Review brief: A true classic, and possibly the best porn movie ever made, gets a first-class transfer onto DVD. Besides being erotic, beautifully shot and edited, you get a quality video transfer, clean sound, many chapters, and real special extras: two audio commentary tracks, plus an interview and an original trailer. This is the single best Porn DVD I've seen, and I'm not even a big Marilyn Chambers fan.
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Boxcover for Flipside (Cal Vista Classics)
Flipside (Cal Vista Classics) 

Release date: 12/8/2009
Reviewed on: 2/12/2010

Starring: Josey Duval, Johnny Nineteen, Lotta Topp, Tasha Voux, Josey Duvall, Millie Sutton, Diane Balsam, Patrice Trudiean, Jeremy Kane
Studio: Cal Vista Classics

Directed by: Jack Genero
Review brief: A feature from the "classic" (1985) era of porn. Basically a collection of standard porn faire connected together by a slender thread of forgettable plot. The actresses are pretty and natural looking, outside of Lotta Topp, a softbodied redhead with huge boobs and possibly the largest clit in porn. Outside of her scene, it's all pretty much the same old same old, with a mediocre video transfer and irritating sound. Unless you're a fan of this era or a particular performer, this is probably best forgotten.
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Boxcover for Girls With Curves
Girls With Curves 

Release date: 4/28/2009
Reviewed on: 11/19/2009

Starring: Jennifer, Jean Pierre Armand, Dominque Saint Clair, Sarde Renaud, John Lourdes, Evejarre, Alan Oliver
Studio: Cal Vista Classics

Review brief: It's your standard late 70s/early 80s porn featureŚ not a particularly good one, but not terrible. The title is misleading as none of the performers would be classified as busty. The sex scenes are par for the eraŚ a bit softer than what we get today, but a little more realistic and romanticized. The video is pretty good, the english language dub is laughably bad. I'd recommend it only if you're a fan of one of the performers. Otherwise, you can do a lot better with a true classic.
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Boxcover for American Nudes 1, 2 and 3
American Nudes 1, 2 and 3 

Release date: 5/7/2009
Reviewed on: 11/7/2009

Studio: Cult Epics

Review brief: A 3-DVD set sampling skin flicks from the 40s, 50s and 60s. The original video content is poor but the transfer and the sound are bright and clean. Much of it's quaint but some of it is surprisingly erotic. I think it's better as a party video for laughs and fun.
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Boxcover for Only the Best Of Breasts
Only the Best Of Breasts 

Release date: 10/9/2009
Reviewed on: 10/3/2009

Starring: Tom Byron, Christy Canyon, Mike Horner, Jamie Gillis, Keisha, Marc Wallice, John Leslie, Tony Martino, Kay Parker, Desiree Cousteau, Jon Martin, Mike Ranger, Candy Samples, Vanessa D'oro, Lotta Topp, Herschel Savage, Ali Moore, Susan Nero, Jose Duvall, Jeanette Littledove
Studio: Cal Vista Classics

Directed by: Buck Adams, Jim Holliday
Review brief: A collection of gold and silver-era big-boob stars in clips from their films. The sex is definitely from that period--less harsh but a little less explicit. This was transferred over from VHS and the video quality is lacking, sounds is uneven. It's a good compilation if you like that era of soft bodies and (mostly) natural boobs, but the video quality makes this less attractive than most "regular" videos.
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Boxcover for Big Tit Super Stars Of The 80's: Lesbian Bra Busters Of the 1980's
Big Tit Super Stars Of The 80's: Lesbian Bra Busters Of the 1980's 

Release date: 10/28/2004
Reviewed on: 2/27/2009

Starring: Christy Canyon, Lee Caroll, Colleen Brennen, Linda Shaw, Trinity Loren, Rachel Ashley, Buffy Davis, Rhonda Jo Petty, Keli Stewart, Leslie Winston
Studio: Alpha Blue Archives

Review brief: A collection of lesbian scenes from 1980s-era porn. The sex is standard, stylized, fakey FF stuff. The actresses are generally attractive, but the video and audio quality are very uneven, often terrible. It's good if you want to see a particular obscure actress, but pass it by otherwise.
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Boxcover for Odyssey (VCA)
Odyssey (VCA) 

Release date: 1/10/2006
Reviewed on: 1/5/2008

Starring: Vanessa Del Rio, Susan McBain, Hope Stockington, Eva Henderson, Ellyn Grant, Bobby Star
Studio: VCA

Directed by: Gerard Damiano
Review brief: Gerard Damiano's dark, downbeat journey. It's not really erotic, but it's hardcore sex. It's an adult film with a message. Or is it? It's a lot of things but it doesn't seem to actually become anything in particular. Not this version, anyway.
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Boxcover for Taboo 3 (Standard Digital)
Taboo 3 (Standard Digital) 

Release date: 8/24/2000
Reviewed on: 5/15/2007

Starring: Kay Parker, Lisa Lake, Jerry Butler, Kimberly Wong, Pamela Ann, Colleen Brenan, Honey Wilder
Studio: Standard Digital

Review brief: It's not Taboo, but what is? Still it has Kay Parker looking pretty hot, some steamy sex, and absolutely gorgeous cinematography. The plot is lame, but the rest of the movie looks like it was made by people who cared.
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Boxcover for Vista Valley P.T.A. (NuTech)
Vista Valley P.T.A. (NuTech) 

Release date: 2/17/2001
Reviewed on: 8/21/2005

Starring: Jamie Gillis, John Leslie, Kay Parker, Jessie St. James, Juliet Anderson, Shirley Wood, Dewey Alexander, Desiree West, Lottie Hayworth, Dorothy LeMay, George Spelvin, Aaron Stuart
Studio: NuTech

Directed by: Anthony Spinelli
Review brief: Vaguely based on the popular song of the time, "Harper Valley PTA," this old-school movie-with-a-plot is about a new teacher (Jessie St. James) and the students and parents of Vista Valley High School. Forget the plot, because like most porn movies it's just a method of setting scenes and it's pretty worthless. The real attraction of this movie is its stars, which reads like a who's who of porn circa 1980. Jessie St. James, Dorothy LeMay (credited on screen as Lexmax), Juliett Anderson, Kay Parker (on screen as Kay Taylor) Jamie Gillis and John Leslie are all in their prime. By modern standards the scenes are often missing something--the camera doesn't get every little thing the way it does now, and a lot of scenes seem shorter than one might expect. Almost everyone gets only one sex-scene in the movie, including Kay and Juliett, who would become two of porn's biggest stars, and Jessie St. James, the star of the movie. The DVD itself is no-frills. It divides the movie into six chapters, so expect a lot of fast-forwarding if you want to see something in particular.
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