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655321's Movie Reviews

Showing 1 - 10 of 10 Reviews
Boxcover for Pussyman's Teen Land 6
Pussyman's Teen Land 6 

Release date: 5/12/2003
Reviewed on: 4/25/2004

Starring: Billy Glide, Steve Hatcher, Tony Tedeschi, Kitty, Guy DiSilva, Loni, David Pussyman Christopher, Lee Stone, Flick Shagwell, Nautica, Brett Rockman, Felix Vicious, Cassie Young, Anna Mills
Studio: Legend

Directed by: David Christopher
Review brief: Teenland VI - Age of Innocence Legend Video / Feline Films Director: David Christopher Women: Kitty, Nautica, Felix Vicious, Anna Mills, Flick Shagwell, Loni Men: Whatever. Who cares? Plot: It would appear that "Pussyman" is looking for women for his next movie and the effort to find them is itself filmed. Some scenes are interrupted by appearances by Pussyman looking for or setting up the tryouts. If I got the plot synopsis wrong, it is because I wasn't really paying attention. But, I think that's the gist. Scene 1: Loni - Loni is a Latina looking women. Largish breasts, big butt, big belly. OK looking, but nothing to write home about. She is dressed in a skimpy purple top and shorts. Too small for her, given her heft. Bad acting on the couch as she and the man await "Pussyman." They need to pass the time, so they have sex. Seems reasonable to me. Starts off with a little foreplay; neck kissing, nipple sucking. Loni is nice and nipply, but one's eyes are drawn to the belly.
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Boxcover for Screaming Orgasms 3
Screaming Orgasms 3 

Release date: 11/27/2001
Reviewed on: 6/23/2003

Starring: Brandi, Stevie, Sunrise, Cherie
Studio: Digital Sin

Review brief: First things first: None of the five women in this DVD scream. In fact, in the last scene with Brandi, one can actually hear the director or someone telling her that they want a screaming orgasm. Despite the cryptic direction, she was unable to oblige. Also, the photos on the DVD case are not in the movie itself. This DVD is a simple concept. Each woman uses sundry toys on herself, culminating with a ride on the Sybian. The best scene (and my rating perspective is based upon the Sybian ride) is #2 with Majella. The worst is with Cherie. Majella looks like she might have actually achieved orgasm. Her reaction is both erotic and cute. Cherie is so clearly trying to "act" like she's aroused that the phoniness is the only thing that "screams." The scene with Stevie is pretty good, and she does look aroused on the Sybian, but I found her to be the least attractive woman, so . . . . . Sunrise Adams is very, very attractive, and I'll bet when she actually has an orgasm it is wonderful to watch.
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Boxcover for Babysitter 2 (Notorious)
Babysitter 2 (Notorious) 

Release date: 9/21/2001
Reviewed on: 3/23/2003

Starring: Rod Fontana, Backey Jakic, Melanie, Damien Michaels, Johnny Thrust, Dynamite, Chuck Martino, Jeanie Rivers, Hunk Hollywood, Sabina Black, Dyn-o-mite, Channel Lockett
Studio: Notorious

Directed by: Jim Powers
Review brief: The Babysitter 2 Director: Jim Powers Dynamite, Melanie, Jeanie Rivers, Channel Lockett, and sundry ambulatory dildoes First scene is with Dynamite and two guys. One foreigner hopped up on viagra and a guy pretending to be physically disabled. Except for the fact that the portrayal of the disabled person is pretty damn offensive, this was one insanely hot scene. Dynamite sucks and fucks. Takes it anally, vaginally, orally, and DP. Viagra guy cums several times and Dynamite takes it in the face and elsewhere. Her nipples are very hard and she fucks like a hurricane. Overall I loved this scene. One of the better parts was when she started cracking up. It was so natural and fun that it genuinely added to the spontaneous eroticism. Second scene is with Melanie. She is picked up by the divorced father of an old friend. Clumsy, silly seduction, but a reasonably hot fuck. Nice body on Melanie. Third scene is an appallingly acted, stupidly scripted, abysmally conceived scene starring Chanel Lockett. OK sex, I guess, but the idiocy of the scene detracts.
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Boxcover for I Never Knew Kendra Jade was Such a Cock Up Her Ass Gang Bang Slut
I Never Knew Kendra Jade was Such a Cock Up Her Ass Gang Bang Slut 

Release date: 5/31/2002
Reviewed on: 6/24/2002


Studio: Cream

Review brief: That was not an exclamation of surprize. "I Never Knew Kendra Jade was Such a Cock-Up-Her Ass Gang Bang Slut" is the name of this gem. When one acquires a DVD centering on one performer, one runs a basic risk. I reviewed the DVD My Plaything: Gauge, and was very happy. Unfortunately, I had never seen (though I had heard of) Kendra Jade and took a stab because the DVD was cheap. This is one astonishingly unattractive adult film performer. From her sagging belly, to her pimpled and bruised ass, to her ski jump nose, this is not a fun person to watch have sex. Prevaricating wooden puppets don't have honkers this big. The only way she'd have a problem with a gag reflex is if the guy had a 20" dick. The Navy could land F-18s on her schnozz. Of course, she improved things with tattoos. (Not!) A scene by scene review is unnecessary. This is a compiliation of Kendra Jade's "best" scenes from previous Cream productions.
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Boxcover for Fantasiany 3
Fantasiany 3 

Release date: 7/3/2001
Reviewed on: 6/13/2002

Starring: Leanni Lei, Mia Smiles, Chris Cannon, Mika Tan, Miko Lee, Tiger Lilly, Ray Shannon, Mayumi, Brice Canyon
Studio: Metro

Directed by: Mimi Miyagi
Review brief: Fantasiany 3 Toxxxic Entertainment Directed by (yeah, right): Mimi Miyagi Starring: Mia Smiles, Leanni Lei, Miko Lee, Tiger Lily, Mika Tan, and Mayumi. Ambulatory dildoes: Chris Cannon, Ray Shannon, and Brice Canyon. Five scenes featuring Asian women. Each scene starts with a little interview conducted by Miyagi, the contents of which are so devoid of value it is beyond description. If I had been stranded for a decade on a deserted island, and my most fundamental wish was simply for the sound of a human voice to break the tedium, I would still not be able to generate one iota of interest in these conversations. These women have an aggregate IQ of about 65. WHO THE HELL CARES? Scene #1: Mia Smiles and Chris Cannon. Tacky set (actually throughout the DVD). Starts off in a home bar. He undresses Mia revealing a gorgeous body. Nice, small, firm tits and a shaved pussy. He starts off licking and fingering her on the bar, and she appears to be getting into it. Mia then lays on her stomach on the bar and leans over to blow him while he sits on a stool.
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Boxcover for Figg's Fantasy
Figg's Fantasy 

Release date: 5/19/2002
Reviewed on: 5/16/2002

Starring: Asia Carrera, John Decker, Nick East, Chloe, Cheyenne Silver, Shelbee Myne
Studio: Vivid

Directed by: Toni English
Review brief: ___________________________________________ Figg's Fantasy Studio: Vivid Director: Toni English Starring: Asia Carrera, Chloe, Ava Vincent, Cheyenne Silver, Shelby Myne, Kyle Stone, Evan Stone, JOhn Decker, Nick East Asia plays the wife of Kyle Stone. Kyle writes erotic stories, but Asia doesn't know it. Wah Wah Wah, our marriage is bad. Scene #1: Kyle's fantasy. Some guy and a blonde (I'll randomly decide it is Ava Vincent. Most porn stars should have their names tattooed on their foreheads). Starts off with some cunnilingus on a barstool. Nice scene, with hard nipples. Moves to the next logical step which as a blowjob. Actually, a pretty damn good BJ. On the same barstool, they move on to a nice missionary. Lots of good moaning on Ava's part with the guy rubbing his po-po on her clit. They switch to the old bow-wow on the barstool until he cums on her ass. Toni English seems to really like the old "cum on the buns." Scene #2: After seeing Asia's friend (Chloe) Kyle Stone goes to take a shower and have an extended handshake with the mayor.
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Boxcover for Jenna's Built For Speed
Jenna's Built For Speed 

Release date: 9/6/2000
Reviewed on: 3/21/2002

Starring: Jill Kelly, Brittany Andrews, Missy, Felecia, Serenity, Melissa Hill, Shayla LaVeaux, Jenna Jameson, Nadia
Studio: Wicked

Directed by: Brad Armstrong
Review brief: I shant go on at length because astroknight has provided a perfectly detailed and accurate description of the movie. I write this review only to add my observation that the scenes are so contrived, artsy, and overdone that each one truly lacks any spontaneous and enticing sexual heat.
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Boxcover for Bukkake: Orgies & Gang-Bangs
Bukkake: Orgies & Gang-Bangs 

Release date: 7/19/2000
Reviewed on: 3/18/2002


Studio: Avica

Review brief: Hector (who posted a review before me) seems to have viewed the "quality" copy of the DVD. "There's one born every minute." "This way to the egress." Thank christ no one was selling the Brooklyn bridge the day I handed my credit card over for this piece of excrement. Four hours of hot gangbang action claims the DVD case. Many alluring and enticing pictures of several different women beckon the unwary buyer. This DVD is one, repeat, ONE ten minute scene that loops. That's it. The producers of this lemon are bad men. Bad, bad men. An addendum to my review. I would like to point out that FiveStarDVD gave me a full refund when I expressed my dissatisfaction with the film.
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Boxcover for My Plaything: Gauge
My Plaything: Gauge 

Release date: 1/16/2002
Reviewed on: 3/3/2002

Starring: Erik Everhard, Gauge
Studio: Digital Sin

Directed by: Nic Andrews
Review brief: Excellent masturbatory fare! I have always been a Gauge fan (though I truly wish she would use some makeup to cover the tattoo). Tease section: Naughty and nice toggle. I have to admit I just cracked up when [nice] Gauge says: "I've never shown anyone my boobies." Having seen her "boobies" oh, maybe sixty or seventy times, the line just had me in stitches. Gauge shows her body to advantage in this segment. Masturbation section: Wow, wow, wow. I must admit that after watching the section with the purple vibrator, I was "done" for a while and the rest of the DVD would have to be viewed at a later date. Gauge is very hot. Do me / Do you section: The weakest part of the interactive DVD, but fun nonetheless. No matter how weak the section is relative to the rest of the DVD, it is still Gauge being naked and nasty. Gauge is like a split-fingered fastball. Even when thrown poorly, its still a pretty damn good pitch. However, I did not like the ambulatory dildo in this scene.
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Boxcover for Cherry Poppers 18
Cherry Poppers 18 

Release date: 5/14/2001
Reviewed on: 2/9/2002

Starring: Dominica, Jade Marcela, Gauge
Studio: Zane

Review brief: Excellent DVD. A serious woody maker. First scene is with Dominica Leoni and her encounter with the baby sitter. I know, why does an "eighteen" year old need a baby sitter? Who cares, don't bother me with trivia you pedant! He seduces her in her innocence (I've got a toy for you to play with). Excellent blow job followed by vaginal, then anal. Extremely sexy. Kind of a sparse facial pop-shot, but all in all a steamy scene. Second scene is with Gauge (another favorite). She is being temporarily watched by her brother's friend. Unfortunately, the guy looks like he is having a last fling because he violated his probation and is on his way back to the joint. Nonetheless, for my purposes, the men in porn flicks are just large, ambulatory dildoes, so who cares. Gauge is spectacular. She looks so innocent (except for the tattoo which kind of wrecks the affect. Don't they have make-up on porn sets?). An innocent, "gosh its so big" cock-suck, followed by two-position vaginal sex, followed by rather acrobatic anal.
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