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You're Nailin' Palin

You're Nailin' Palin

Studio: Hustler
Category:  Interactive
Directed by:
Starring: , , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD NewDVD Rent
astroknight's ratings for You're Nailin' Palin:
Overall Rating 2.5 stars
You're Nailin' Palin overall rating 2.5 stars
Female Looks You're Nailin' Palin Female looks rating 4.5 stars
Male Looks You're Nailin' Palin Female looks rating 0 stars
Sex You're Nailin' Palin Sex rating 2 stars
Plot/Acting You're Nailin' Palin Plot/Acting rating 0 stars
Extras You're Nailin' Palin DVD Extras rating 3.5 stars
Audio/Video Quality You're Nailin' Palin A/V Quality rating 4.5 stars
Rating Scale
Reviewed by astroknight  on  10/29/2009

The Little Details

Running Time: 97 min. total footage

Production Date: 2009

Director: Axel Braun

Cast: Alexis Texas, Lisa Ann, Chris Charming, and Jay Lassiter

The Short Story

Initial Expectations: This is the first I've seen of Hustler's Palin movies, and with how much fun it sounds like Lisa Ann has been having with the role and the addition of Alexis Texas I can't help but have a little hope here.

Initial Reaction: It's mildly amusing but lacks quite a bit in regards to being an interactive sex release.

Who Should Watch It : Anybody wanting to blend interactive porn with laughing at Sarah Palin

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody looking for a fully interactive virtual sex simulator

The Technical Stuff

Audio /Video Quality: This is a nicely presented release. The audio is clear and well balanced, and I didn't notice any background noises. The video is presented in anamorphic widescreen and also looks very nice. There are a few minor lighting inconsistencies, which go towards overlighting rather than shadows, but the camera work is smooth and the picture is always nicely clear.

Music: There's a little minor music here and there in the setups and menu areas that works okay for the release.

Menus: The main menu blends a still and a little animation with clips from the movie for a nice first impression. The Select a Star Menu lets you choose between Lisa Ann and Alexis Texas based on their name and a still for each girl.

The Feature

You're Nailin' Palin is broken into two interactive sections. The first lets you go one-on-one with Lisa Ann as Sarah Palin, while the second lets Alexis Texas join in as Miss California Carrie Prejean.

Scene 1 – Lisa Ann and “you” (played by Chris Charming and Jay Lassiter)

After a little introduction in the office and a strip tease, Lisa Ann lets you choose how you want her to tease you between her tits, ass, and pussy, all with the help of a bottle of oil. Next you can watch her masturbate using her fingers or a toy on her pussy, or to watch her play with her ass using a toy. When it comes to foreplay you have the choice between a handjob, titty fucking, a foot job, or a blowjob with either you or her on top. For fucking not only do you get the choice between missionary, cowgirl, or doggie style, but you get the choice between her pussy or her ass for each of the positions. Finally, you get to choose where the pop goes between her face (with it being nicely directed onto her glasses), tits, ass, or feet.

This is an okay segment. Lisa Ann looks to be having fun with it all, and it's hard not to liker her smile. She drops a political one liner at the start and close of each scene that started out being mildly amusing, and quickly got old due to the one sided political nature of the comments. The camera work turned out pretty good, but the mechanics leave a bit to be desired. Since the mechanics are the same throughout the DVD I'll get into that later. Lisa Ann does a nice job for her part of this release.

Scene 2 – Alexis Texas and Lisa Ann

After a setting Alexis' trophy and flowers aside, Lisa comes back to kiss her and help strip her down leaving her only with her sash, tiara, and gloves. Alexis kisses her way around Lisa as she helps her strip down, and after a little more titty sucking both ways Lisa starts to play with Alexis' pussy and give it a little tongue action. She grabs a dildo out of the desk that she lets Alexis suck before fucking her with it. Lisa sucks the toy as Alexis sucks her tits and plays with her pussy, and even gives Alexis a second toy to fuck her with as she sits back on her desk. Finally the girls share a taste of the toy and a kiss.

This scene doesn't even make it to the average mark. The girls look great, and there definitely is some novelty humor to it. At the same time, although Alexis looks to be into Lisa Ann pretty good, Lisa mugs the camera so badly that it seems like Alexis could have been replaced with a farm animal in the middle of the scene without her noticing. I had high hopes for this scene, and it didn't come close to meeting them.

Scene 3 – Alexis Texas, Lisa Ann, and “you” (played by Jay Lassiter)

After Alexis talks about how glad she is that her grandfather fought in World War 2 so they could have a threesome to prove that homosexuality is wrong, she and Lisa drop down to team up on “your” cock orally. They take turns licking it back and forth before mixing licks and sucks, starting slowly and building up speed as they go. Finally, the segment ends without a pop and instead leads into the sex menu.

This is a short and pretty forgettable blowjob sequence. There's a nice balance between the girls, but both of them seem to be pretty much phoning it in. The lack of a pop definitely hurts it the scene, especially because it could have been offered as a nice choice between it and going on to fuck Alexis. This scene just didn't do much for me and felt like it only have half of what it was supposed to due to the lack of a pop shot for the blowjob.

Scene 4 – Alexis Texas, Lisa Ann, and “you”

Finally you get the option to fuck Alexis Texas as Miss California. You get the choice to fuck her in doggie, missionary, and cowgirl, and in each case Lisa Ann is right there to offer her vocal support and plenty of smiles, as well as to play with Alexis. After you're done fucking Alexis, you get the choice between giving Alexis a facial finish or unloading in Lisa Ann's cunt.

This is an okay segment. The mechanics are the same as in Lisa Ann's earlier segment, which once again I will again get into later. The chemistry here is surprisingly good between Lisa Ann and Alexis after how little there was between the two of them as they got busy by themselves earlier, and the action is captured pretty well. Alexis does a great job taking the facial, but the cream pie finish took the scene down a notch or two due to how obvious it was that it was faked. This is a decent area of the DVD.

Through it all, the mechanics of You're Nailin' Palin is the biggest factor holding the release back. Unlike interactive sex simulators like Digital Playground's Virtual Sex With..., Digital Sin / New Sensation's My Plaything, or Zero Tolerance's Interactive Sex With... series, this one doesn't give you a menu where you can adjust what you're doing in midstream. All you really get here is a scene that's chopped up into smaller segments that normally last between two and a half and four and a half minutes (the shortest being just under two minutes while the longest sex segment lasts nearly five minutes, and the pop shots normally lasting between about thirty seconds and just over a minute) with Lisa Ann giving a one-liner to start and end each sequence. At the end of each sequence you're given the choice between one of the other choices in that sexual area or to move on to the next area in the list. You're not even able to easily jump to certain areas, such as perhaps starting with anal sex or to go from foreplay to anal sex, without jumping out of the movie and going to a fairly generic looking chapter menu. Also missing is the ability to go right to a pop shot after any position, something like a naughty or nice mood, or multiple angles to let you watch the scene in either POV mode or from a third person view. The mechanics of You're Nailin' Palin is a definite leap back from where most other companies are for interactive sex releases.

You're Nailin' Palin gets by almost completely on its novelty factor. Lisa Ann does look like she's having a lot of fun with the role, and gets into it pretty well from start to finish. She falls flat in her lesbian scene with Alexis Texas and doesn't do a lot better for the blowjob sequence, but picks it back up for the interactive Alexis Texas portion of the release. The main problem here is the mechanics of the release. It feels very basic, and against some of what the competition is putting out for interactive sex releases feels like a caveman that's just discovered the wheel put against the space shuttle. Lisa Ann shows that she definitely has what it takes for interactive sex releases, but the lack of technical skill creating the actually mechanical part of the DVD leaves You're Nailin' Palin falling short.

The Extra Stuff

Trailers are included for Barely Legal: Virgin Stories, Barely Legal: Black in the Saddle, This Ain't Hell's Kitchen XXX, Keeping It Up for the Kard-ASS-ians, Hustler's Real College Girls: Lesbian Stories 2, and Hustler's Naughty Nannies. The slide show lasts six minutes with about five seconds per nice looking snapshot. There's also a behind the scenes featurette, extra footage, and because this is a Hustler release, plenty of commercials.

The extra clips include one more choice that lasts about fifteen seconds. It's a few amusing seconds at first, but not something that adds anything to the overall DVD and can easily be skipped without missing anything.

The behind the scenes featurette lasts about eleven and a quarter minutes. Lisa Ann starts out talking about the schedule before talking about wondering what would happen if she met Sarah Palin and ripping on Chris Charming. After a quick intro to Jay Lassiter and Chris Charming, Lisa Ann washes up and then gets to work with Chris and Jay along with Axel letting them know how he wants to do things. There's plenty of laughs as they chat between takes before chatting with Alexis about being Miss California, her upcoming scene, and her award. There's also a little fun behind the scenes and a segment that was thankfully cut from the movie. Finally you get a little photo op and one last sequence being shot. This is an okay behind the scenes featurette. You get a fair amount of personality, eye candy, and laughs, but there's something that just didn't do much for me.

The Down -n- Dirty Sex Stuff

Themes: Straight, interactive, tease, masturbation, toys, oral, feet, anal, lesbian, group, and cream pie (pussy)

Raincoat Factor: High

Condom Usage: None

The Bottom Line:

Currently, many of Hustler’s DVDs can be found online for between about $16 and $25 with stores offering it everywhere in between. Rent this one before you buy it. There's a bit of an amusing novelty factor to this one, but due to the extremely basic mechanics of the release I don't think it's going to have a lot of replay value. The technical aspects are nicely done and the extras make it just past the average mark due to a little effort put into the behind the scenes featurette. This release barely claws its way to the average level.

Note to Hustler: I hope you hold off on more interactive releases until you find somebody who can help you bring out something that can actually compete on the interactive playing field.

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

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