There was a terrible old joke I heard as a kid. It went: “Who was the most elastic man in the Bible?” The answer: “Balaam. He tied his ass to a tree and walked several miles.”
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The film WHAT’S UP YOUR ASS 3 certainly proves that the ass has elastic abilities. Some mighty big things find their way where the sun don’t shine.
Have you ever had a blowjob while in the lotus position? Well, yoga student Philip Pines gets one from his instructor Kai Kato. Kato first talks his young pupil out of his shorts (getting nude himself) and then goes down on the young cock until it stands stiff and proud. Showing the agility of a gymnast Kato then sits with his legs spread-eagled to allow his charge to reciprocate.
Kato then goes to work stretching Pines asshole by inserting a variety of objects—including two dildos at once prior to adding his own condom-clad cock. (When Philip propels a small ball that has been up his butt a remarkable distance he giggles delightedly.)
Scene Two features the two twinks on the cover: Brad Slater and Luke Cherry. Luke (the one with the mop of curly hair) tells us that his roommate Brad is gay but he himself is straight. Luke has borrowed some toys from his girlfriend. If Brad can take a certain big one up his ass, Luke will suck his cock. If Brad can take a baseball bat, he can fuck Luke. Luke tells us all this in a voice that resembles a Munchkin hairdresser, making him sound about as straight as the Yellow Brick Road. When Brad is enjoying a double-headed dildo, Luke decides to insert the other end in his own ass and they gleefully share it. Needless to say Brad does take what is expected of him and Luke so “straight” Luke sucks cock and gets fucked.
Three more twinks are lined up for scene three: Chip Sastre, Jay Lopez, and Joey Jay. Jay Lopez suggests to the other two that the tool a ball and take the number of tenpins that are knocked down up their bungs. The hottest part of this scene is the cocksucking as both Jay and Chip have shaved their pubes. (Joey has not only kept his pubic hair but has a small clump of hair on his chin, too.) It’s not much a stretch to take the head of a pin up your bum and as we’ve seen the balls-up-the-butt trick before the dildoing leaves much to be desired. Both Jay and Chip fuck Joey—Jay entering Chip’s ass while Chip is banging away at Joey.
More shaved dicks appear in the final scene which takes place outdoors on raised deck. Sage Hunter—the only daddy in the film—is wearing a pair of leather pants with no crotch revealing his naked protuberance. A very skinny, very pale guy with mutton chops and wearing only a leather codpiece approaches. This emaciated (yet quite sexy) stud goes by the name Sokobo-1. (When I was thirteen I was that skinny. I never knew it was sexy. Even after that Scout leader----) Sokobo-1 sucks Sage and then Sage kneels to sample Sokobo-1. When he removes the leather codpiece we see that the skinny stud’s crotch is as smooth as a marble table-top. He also has quite a lengthy gnarled dick.
After the mutual cocksucking, Sage rims and fucks the skinny boy. Sage then sits on Sokobo-1’s long dick. It is the dildoing however that must be seen. Sokobo-1 takes both ends of a double-headed black monster that would make a fist seem small by comparison and then takes all of a three-foot long one. AWESOME!
If you like toys and assplay you will like this one. The third scene is weak but the others certainly have their moments. To my mind, the most dangerous thing seen here is putting golf balls up the ass. I don’t think one should put anything up there that disappears. Something should always remain outside to make certain you can get it out. Otherwise you may find yourself embarrassed in the emergency room. So stay away from golf balls, tennis balls, baseballs, footballs, basketballs, and gerbils unless they are on a string.