|Where to buy:||Streaming/Download|
|Weapons of Ass Destruction 2 (2003)|
The First Word: Jules Jordan is probably the hottest property in gonzo today and his stuff is tearing up the best seller lists at the time I'm writing this review. The reason? He's got a talent for capturing women's beauty while still producing some of the nastiest hardcore. Welcome to Weapons of Ass Destruction 2, and if the title says anything, we know we're in for a treat!
What's It About?: WOAD 2 starts out with Jules rolling a suitcase through the street and then up to a hotel room. There, some buyers are waiting for the merchandise that he's peddling. Jules unzips the suitcase to reveal Gauge folded inside of the bag. Proclaiming that she's the "best ass money can buy," he collects payment, and the buyers, Mark Wood, John Strong, and Arnold, begin to sample this top quality T&A. Gauge looks great, dressed in a short pleated miniskirt, garter belt, lavender stockings, and a killer open-breasted number. The blowjobs leading off the scene are great, with plenty of spit and lots of multiple-dick action. Next, Gauge shoves a jelly-beaded anal dong up her ass. It's great to see her getting DP'ed and then watching the beads being pulled out of her ass. The penetrations are massive and the shots crystal clear as Gauge is probed in all of her holes. While it's not my thing, the big cocks create anal gapes on every withdrawal, and there's plenty of ass to mouth. The common theme of this scene is definitely the anal ravaging of Gauge.
That ravaging continues with a trio of amazing DPs that threaten to pull her insides out. My favorite angle of the movie is seeing her in a flying DP where she's impaled in mid-air by two huge dicks. This is what modern pornography is all about folks...put this up against a Vivid DP scene and the latter will seem like a G-rated bore. The mere fact that Gage can still poop normally after this scene is a medical miracle! This great scene ends with Gauge taking sperm in her wide-open asshole and then blowing cum bubbles with her ass. It's a bit of a--no, make that a very--crude ending to perhaps the best scene JJ's shot. It's definitely worth the $1500 that she got for the reaming.
When you regain your consciousness and are able to continue on with the rest of the DVD, you'll be greeted with the sight of Taylor Rain sticking a finger up her ass. After regain your consciousness again, you'll watch Eurostud veterans Toni Ribas and Manuel Ferrara plunder this all-American cutie. First off, the beaded anal dildo from the first scene makes it's way up into Taylor's ass and then into her mouth. Then, after some fucking and sucking, Manuel brings her to a gushing, finger fucked, orgasm. Next, there's an extended section of piledriver and reverse piledriver that will make some health-conscious viewers cringe when the guys take turns fucking her ass and pussy interchangeably. In one case, one of the guys puts his cock into her cunt, then into her ass, and then back into her pussy in the space of 10 seconds. Bacterial vaginitis, here we come!
The scene builds up to the climaxes with two separate DP's that look great. The scene is capped off with a fetish bit as both guys pop onto a glass coffee table (and one of them reflects his cum off of Taylor's face and eye onto the table). It's pretty kinky to see Taylor lick up the cum and smear it around the glass with her tongue. Just when you thought that Taylor couldn't get nastier than she was under Vince Vouyer's direction, she has one of her nastiest scenes in a Jules Jordan flick.
Superslut Catalina is next, wearing a pink outfit with spiderweb tights. She may not be the most attractive girl in porn, but she more than makes up for that with her willingness to do some pretty outrageous things on camera. Such as...filling up an enema ball with milk, emptying it into her ass, and then squatting next to the pool and spraying the milk out onto the patio. On her second attempt, she squirts the camera with the milk and then licks it off. After a third milk spraying for the still camera, she gets a butt plug inserted and then crawls into the house to get fucked by Mark Wood and Arnold. The sex isn't nearly as good as the first two scenes; the penetrations aren't very visually appealing and Catalina isn't my body-ideal. Still, between the milk enemas and the truly monster facial she gets at the end, it's all good.
One of my favorite girls from the past, Jessica Darlin, has been making a comeback of late. While I always preferred her as a redhead, she proves that she's still got the stuff that made her one of the nastiest of the 90's. Clad in a very sexy black, open-breasted and open-crotched leotard and full arm-length gloves, she shoves in a clear butt plug. The lucky guys for this scene are Jules himself and Brian Pumper. It's a wonderful sight to see Jessica mouthing Brian's big ebony stick, though I could do without the gagging, gasping blowjobs that follow. I'm also happier to leave the volume on mute during this scene, since Jessica moans in a hoarse, primal wailing that would have me calling 911 if I heard that coming from a neighbor's house! While Jules is no slouch in the cock size department, the better visuals come with BP's big dong penetrating Jessica's pussy and ass. The scene ends with another massive set of facials, covering most of her face.
The final scene is a disappointment to me, starring Spanish-Italian Bella-Marie Wolf. She's a big-boned girl, not exactly fat, but pretty solid. She's also got a huge pair of fake tits that not only defy gravity but have more unused breast surface than anyone since Julia Ann. Clearly, with that initial reaction to her looks, it's going to take a stellar performance to get me to like this scene. Unfortunately, even with the talents of Erik Everhard, it's still a below average scene in my book. The fucking is fast and furious, and Bella-Marie squirts throughout, but it still doesn't do anything for me. I didn't get the mutual face slapping either. I really want to know what was going through Erik's mind in order to get through this scene!
What I liked: Gauge. Massive penetrations. Big cocks. Monster facials. Taylor Rain. Jessica Darlin back again. Fun with cum. Did I already say "Gauge"?
What I didn't like: I didn't care for the circus acts, such as the constant ass-to-mouth and gaping, but it's not generally done for the sheer spectacle of it, like the milk enemas were. There wasn't anything excessively gross, but maybe that's because I've become desensitized to cum bubbles, ass blossoms, and the like. Still, I don't seek that stuff out and could do without seeing it, thank you very much.
DVD Extras: The biggest bonus is another 22 minutes of extra sex footage and outtakes. Some of the highlights: seeing Jules try to clean the camera lens in the middle of filming, Gauge pondering what to do with a string of drool, and seeing her clutch her $1500 paycheck while asleep on the couch. There's also a nice high-quality photo gallery with 40 scans, nearly all of which are hardcore. As a reviewer, I also appreciate the scene-by-scene cast list and Jules Jordan biography.
A/V Quality: Excellent, well-lit, no defects! About the only problem I saw was a little bit of graininess during the credits at the beginning of the video, and the common problem of shooting indoor with bright windows (the video cameras have a bit of a hard time compensating, so portions of the picture are sometimes washed out. But those are really minor nitpicks--in general, the quality is on-par with the best of the genre.
The Last Word: Four words: This video kicks ass! I daresay that if it wasn't for the final, questionably-hot scene with Bella-Marie, this would have been a solid lock for a four and a half star rating. And if the sex in the Catalina scene was a little more exciting (other than the beginning and ending), it might have gotten a near-perfect rating anyway. Regardless, it gets my unconditional recommendation in the gonzo category for the Gauge scene alone. If that one doesn't win awards this year, then the media don't know shit! Another great job, Jules!