I remember seeing this when it first came out 7 years ago. It didn’t come out on DVD until 2003, I believe. But recently, I found the DVD used. And I had to buy it! I’m not even sure if it’s still in print or if this is still being made. Santino Lee is a black male porn star/director, who made an appearance once on the TV show “Blind Date”. Also, he’s really funny and he’s qualified to have the title of “The Black Buttman”! “Waxxxin’ Phat Asses” is his own series dedicated to the female booty. In this series, he casts a number of unknown black & white females, who’s carrying some groceries on them (and by that, I mean some ass)! There are a few known females, but there are more unknowns than known. And these women’s asses are perfect, I mean they’re not overweight asses, like you may see in some black-on-black pornos. I watched this one with a friend of mine years ago, and all we did was laugh our black asses off, while we got hard ons, mind you!
You think Jules Jordan & Buttman were obsessed with asses? Santino Lee takes it to a whole new and somewhat “perverse” way! And Santino Lee calls it “Booty-ism”! So far, I’ve seen three parts from this series (parts 1, 3 & 6) and this is the best one in the series with volume 3 (Nationwide) being the second greatest! I know there’s a lot of people, even black people, who don’t like black-on-black porn. The reason why is because much of it looks amateurish and the camerawork is horrible. They say “it’s not there”. Well, once you see this, you will probably say this is the best black-on-black porno ever made. And this is much better than overrated black pornos such as “Black Ass Addiction”, “Ghetto Booty”, “Black Ass Candy”, “Booty Talk”, “Black Girls Get Nasty Too“, etc… This is THE greatest black-on-black porno-flick ever made! Santino Lee is a funny muthafucka. He composes a theme song for this porno, which is actually his remake of Ricky Martin’s “Livin’ La Vida Loca”. And he calls it “Waxxxin’ the Phat Ass Locas”. And it’s some of the funniest shit you’ll ever hear in your life!
THEME SONG LYRICS:
“Waxxxin’ the Phat Ass Locas” theme song
By Santino Lee & Special K.
“She’s into penetration, black dicks vibrating dolls
I’ve got a john-eration, that ass is gonna fall.
I’ve got an ass addiction, new butts every night
They get a good sensation, waxed ass by candlelight
I make her take her pants off, put her fat ass in my face
She’ll fuck me ‘til I’m crazy, but I won’t come in her face
No, I won’t come in her face!
Inside, outside - Waxin’ the fat assed locas
They’ll try to fuck me down, waxin’ vanilla & mochas…”
There are 5 scenes in this flick and all of them are hotter than Mercury! Three of the women (Mary Jane, Pebbles/Adina Jewel & Tyra Butts) have anal sex with Santino Lee), while the other two (Caramel & Sabby) do not! All of the women are very, very attractive and very bootylicious and they’re with everything that goes on in this flick! All of the ladies are black, except Sabby, who looks as if she’s bi-racial and have some Latin inside of her. All of the ladies get fucked by Santino Lee. Each scene begins with an interview by Santino Lee, The Black Buttman himself! After the interviews/conversations, Santino checks out every lady’s ass, by “measuring” it; his own method of ass worshipping. The ladies turn around and shows their booties to the camera while they are either butt naked, or with clothes on. And he shows off the skin tones, textures, dimples, tan lines, creases of the booties & the assholes. Then, he does another method to measure how far their booties stick out, which is “The Finger Test”. Each of our fingers has 3 lines (from the palm -- and we all ought to know this by now) and from the way he sees it, each line represents an inch. He puts his finger between a woman’s ass and then, closes the buttcheeks. And if their buttcheeks go over half of his finger, he concludes by saying they have succeeded the test, and therefore, they got some ass! He usually says “Over 2 inches! Now, that is an ass!” Then he takes his finger out of the woman’s ass, sucks the butt-juices off his finger, then he buries his face, nose and mouth all in her butt hole and pussy! The oral sex is mutual, of course and sometimes, dude gets his ass ate out by some of the ladies! Then, he fucks each and every single one of the ladies in various positions/holes! The sex in this flick is very ass-oriented, nasty, sometimes sloppy and beast-like. But I mean this in a very good and freaky way. This is how sex should be! At some points, we see a woman coming on his dick, from her asshole and pussy, we see how he wipes his semen all on the cheeks of a woman’s ass, like it’s lotion and the women get ate out, fucked and sodomized in various positions! Santino Lee even says some funny shit before and during the sex. In his scene with Pebbles/Adina Jewel, he says to her "Pebbles, today you can call me Bam Bam. 'Cause I'm gonna bam that ass of yours!"
Negatives? The only negatives is that Sabby’s scene was only 14 minutes and that Sabby & Caramel didn’t take it up their butts! But that didn’t stop them from having their asses worshipped! The theme song is missing from the beginning credits. But… when you watch the trailers for the other “Waxxxin’ Phat Asses” flicks, you get to hear the entire song, uncut! The only problem with the trailers is that the sound is low. So, you’d have to crank this shit up a notch to hear what my man is saying!
This is the only DVD from “Avalon” that I’ve seen. They don’t have very many special features, but they have enough to get by! The a/v quality is very good and there’s only 6 chapters! There’s a quick and easy photo gallery, web info, contact info and 4 trailers, which have poor a/v quality. There are trailers for “Waxxxin’ Phat Asses #2: Nubian Style”, “Waxxxin’ Phat Asses #3: Nationwide” (which features black AND white girls with big booties), “Waxxxin’ Phat Asses 4: Nubian Style” & “Wrappers: Cream From the Microphone” (a blowjob flick), which had a funny-ass rap from Santino Lee! There are no trailers for “Waxxxin’ Phat Asses” volumes 5 & 6! But I guess those weren’t created until after the time this DVD was released!
I’m glad to own this DVD. In some adult video stores online, they claim that this DVD is either no longer made or out of print. I’m not sure if it’s the case officially, but you’ve got to own this. If you enjoyed flicks like “Black Ass Addiction”, “Black Ass Candy”, the “Ass Worship” series”, “Big Booty Revenge”, the “Ass Parade” series or even ass-obsessed flicks directed by Buttman, you have to fucking have this DVD! Period. I, personally, think it’s a damn shame that this flick is criminally overlooked and underrated. I might be the only person who reviewed this DVD on ADT or what have you. Pick this DVD up and even if you’re not trying to own it, please watch it! Even if you don't dig black-on-black porn or black ladies, check this out! Your perceptions of ass obsession will change for the rest of your natural life! I’m just glad that I finally own a copy of this Long Noel’s Long Erection winning series!