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Valley 911
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Valley 911

Studio: Wicked
Category:  Comedy , Feature film
Directed by:
Starring: , , , , , , , , , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD NewDVD RentStreaming/Download
Miroku's ratings for Valley 911:
Overall Rating 4 stars
Valley 911 overall rating 4 stars
Female Looks Valley 911 Female looks rating 4 stars
Male Looks Valley 911 Female looks rating 0 stars
Sex Valley 911 Sex rating 4 stars
 
Plot/Acting Valley 911 Plot/Acting rating 4 stars
Extras Valley 911 DVD Extras rating 3.5 stars
Audio/Video Quality Valley 911 A/V Quality rating 4 stars
Worth$17.00
Rating Scale
Reviewed by Miroku  on  5/12/2005

Valley 911

Reviewer's Tilt

Likes

  • Mature women.
  • Expert and professional performers. The girl should know how to give it up for the camera.
  • Two assertive women on one guy.
  • Big, round, plump asses.
  • Black/Latina lesbian sex.
  • Appropriate atmosphere and setups. Just throwing people together and having them fuck is not erotic to me. There should be some context and the performers should appear to want each other.

Dislikes

  • Young girls, barely legal girls.
  • Trashy, slutty, or ghetto women.
  • DP's
  • Double cock sucking. (Two in the mouth at the same time.)
  • Two (or more) guys on one girl.
  • Anal gaping. Im not a proctologist and I don't care for the colorectal exams.
  • Spitting. Lubrication is okay but blatant spitting is disgusting to me.
  • Forced, domineering sex.
  • Gagging, choking, slapping, humiliation, etc.
  • Girls who appear in pain or discomfort.
  • Boring girls who just lay there.
  • Facials. (That's right. I don't like ejaculation on the woman's face. Call me crazy.)

Intolerances

Other than these basics, there are a few things that I do not tolerate at all and I avoid at all costs.

  • DAP, DPP.
  • Swallowing, snowballing, cum drinking.
  • Ghetto, racist, or otherwise demeaning titles.

Cast: Devon Michaels, Kaylani Lei, Cherokee, Julia Ann, Jessica Drake

Initial Expectations

This movie was supposed to be a parody of the TV series 'Reno: 911'. I watch that show and I wanted to see how Jonathan Morgan carried this project out.

Who Should Watch It

If you like your porn with some context to it and you have a good sense of humor, and you don't mind comedy mixed in with your porn, you will probably like this.

Who Should Avoid It

Most definitely, if you like straightforward, hardcore, no-plot sex, you should steer clear of this title. Furthermore, anal fanatics will be sorely disappointed by the lack of it in this movie.

Initial Impression

I rather enjoyed this title. It had good sex scenes and a decent sense of humor. The acting was quite well-performed by porn standards.

Scene 1 Devon

Valley 911 is immediately noticeable as a take on 'Reno 911', a popular comedy television show. 'Reno 911' is itself a comedic take on the 'COPS' TV show. Steven St. Croix is the commanding officer of a squad consisting of Trevor Zen, Eric Masterson, Jessica Drake, and Julia Ann. After some initial hijinks to introduce the characters and set the tone for the movie, we are out on the first call. Eric and Jessica respond to a domestic disturbance call. Devon and Alex Sanders are a couple arguing with each other in true stereotypical "white trash" fashion. The next minute they are all over each other, fucking on a couch while Masterson watches through the window waiting for his partner Drake to set up on the other side of the house. This was a pretty good scene. Devon's tanned and tone body looks great here especially her ass during cowgirl and doggie.

Scene 2 Cherokee, Kaylani

St. Croix and Zen patrol the streets in their squad car and arrive at a porn shoot. They try to fill their ticket quota by looking for phony parking violations and hassling the movie crew on set. Apparently, a scene is about to start and rather than endure the shakedown by our officers, the director bribes them by letting them perform the scene with Cherokee and Kaylani. This turns out to be perfect since the porn scene requires the two women to be the cause of a residential disturbance complaint, hence two officers are called to respond. St. Croix pairs with Cherokee and Zen takes Kaylani. The girls go down on the guys and Cherokee gives some fantastic head as usual. After a while the girls change partners. The sex progresses through cowgirl, doggie, and missionary for both girls and they switch partners again toward the end of the scene. This was another nice scene and it fit in well with the tone of the movie.


Scene 3 Julia

The overall story arc, if you can say there is one, is that there is a sex offender at large. Apparently, some dude is going around and peeping in on couples, masturbating in the process. Masterson and Julia have Cheyne Collins in custody as a suspect and they are interrogating him. Masterson does his best impression of an over-the-top cop trying to force a confession out of Collins. When he gets worked up, Julia tells him to go take a break and let her get a crack at him. Instead of using brute force, Julia tries to get a confession out of Collins using her mouth. She pulls his pants down and goes to work on him for a few minutes before stripping naked and lying back on the table to feed him her pussy. What follows is another good scene including standard positions an some great looking standing doggie. Masterson comes back just as the two are finishing getting dressed. Julia give Collins her business card and tells him to call if wants to be "interrogated" again.

Scene 4 Jessica

Jessica goes undercover on a prostitution sting. Zen and Masterson are keeping surveillance in a police van. She is worried about being found out they assure her that they will come swooping in to the rescue when she mentions the codeword. Brad Armstrong picks her up hoping for a good time and he takes her to a back alley in his Hummer. Meanwhile, Zen and Masterson are distracted by a woman who comes jogging by the van. Instead of watching of Jessica, they start to chat it up and try to impress to jogger. Jessica nervously mentions the codeword several times, expecting her comrades to swoop in with the bust before she has to "perform" but since they are otherwise occupied, she has to go through with the deed in order to keep her cover. There's some nice oral exchange between the two parties before some brief missionary. I liked this scene but it was very brief and marred by some dark lighting.

Scene 5 Julia

Julia and Masterson get a tip that the sex offender has been spotted near an abandoned building. They urgently move in hoping to apprehend the suspect but they can't locate him and ascertain that they just missed him. They're both pretty worked up and they decide to work out their frustration by fucking on top of the squad car. During the sex, the camera is positioned from inside a nearby dumpster, implying that the two officers are being watched. Like the other scenes, this one was quite hot as well.

As part of the plot , the two discover that they have been spied upon by someone in the dumpster. In a funny turn of events, the movie ends with the two officers chasing the voyeur down an alley.

Negatives

In comparison to most gonzo movies I've seen, the scenes in this movie are somewhat short. I like to see a scene last between twenty and twenty-five minutes. The scenes here were more like fifteen minutes in length. I guess that's the tradeoff: most features' scenes are about half as long as gonzo scenes. Also, features tend to pan the camera to the guy's face every so often and this one was no exception. I wish they wouldn't do that. Other than that, I can't complain.

Summary

I thought this was funny, well-executed porn feature. I'm really getting sick of the monotonous, repetitive style of today's gonzo. Everything is so impersonal and cookie-cutter. I'm not putting gonzo down in general, but I really like some context and a fair level of intimacy in my porn. Valley 911 fits the bill nicely. You have some decent sex wrapped inside a funny, well-acted plot that doesn't get in the way of what you're really interested in. I thinks it's well worth checking out if you like this type of thing.



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