The Little Details
Running Time: 72 min.
Production Date: 3 / 12 / 2006
Director: Paul Thomas
Cast: Brooke Banner, Daisy, Lacey Love, Lyndsey Love, Christian, Dino Bravo, Jack Lawrence, James Deen, Jay Huntington, Justin Syder, and Will Powers in sexual roles with Frank Bukkwyd, Julian Ott, and Steven St. Croix in non-sex roles
The Short Story
Initial Expectations: Paul Thomas can be a bit hit or miss for me, but there's something about this one that looks really fun and gives me a lot of hope.
Initial Reaction: Although this could have been a fun movie, slightly below average sex and the Love Twins showing a complete inability of acting talent even by porn standards make this an hour and a quarter of pain instead of pleasure.
Who Should Watch It : Extreme twins fans
Who Should Avoid It: Anybody wanting a feature with both sex and acting skills
The Technical Stuff
Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are okay. The audio is clear and well balanced, and I didn't notice any background noises. The video is presented in anamorphic widescreen and looks pretty good. There's just a touch of grain to make it a touch artistic, as well as some nice attention towards the lighting. Unfortunately there's also a lot of camera motion and choppy editing.
Music: There's a little music that rests in the background extremely quietly. It's so quiet that it's hard to notice unless you specifically pay attention for it.
Menus: The main menu works together the boxcover with a little animation for a pretty good first impression. The chapter menu is okay, and lets you choose a scene based on a small clip of each scene and a title for the scene. There's also a positions menu that lets you go directly to specific sex acts such as pussy eating, missionary, or cum shots.
The FeatureWhen Lacey and Lindsey's grandpa they've been leeching off of dies, they think they just got rich the easy way. They soon find out that Grandpa wants to make them earn it, and they have to spend a year working in medical and science fields. Their first week takes them to work for Steven St. Croix at his research lab working with sperm samples.
|Scene 1 Lacey Love, Lindsey Love, and James Deen|
Lindsey starts out sucking James' cock as he leans against a column outside. She lets him guide her head as she blows him and mixes in a little stroking and some great eyes. When he turns around to get his ass eaten she runs off only to have her sister Lacey return and eat his ass. He doesn't expect a wooden handle up the ass, nor does he expect Lindsey to return and introduce her twin sister. After an opening credit sequence they get it back on in the kitchen with one of the twins sucking James before he fucks the other over the counter from behind. James also gets in a bit of missionary work and both cowgirls before he lets go with a nice load over the Love Twins' faces.
This is an amusing little scene. There's very nice humor to start things out and it moves on with some pretty good sex after the credits. The editing was a little choppy and made it so there was no way I could tell which twin James was fucking, but that's some of the fun with the twins fantasy so I'm not going to complain too much about it. This is a pretty average scene to start the movie with.
|Scene 2 Lacey Love and Jay Huntington|
In payment for fixing up an old VW bug they're left, Lacey gets it on with mechanic Jay. She starts out straddling his face before leaning forward to help him out of his pants so she can suck his cock. He picks her up for a standing sixty nine and takes her over to the car where they pleasure each other orally on the hood. Finally she takes a nice facial finish.
This is an okay at best scene. The chemistry is pretty average and the camera angles aren't anything overly impressive either. I know that I'm not a big fan of oral sex scenes so maybe I'm not the best to comment on this one, but it just came off as a bit boring and reminded me why I normally don't bother with all oral movies. This scene didn't quite make it to the average mark.
|Scene 3 Brooke Banner, Daisy, Lacey Love, Lindsey Love, Taryn Thomas, Christian, Dino Bravo, Jack Lawrence, Justin Syder, and Will Powers|
After their semen samples are stolen, the Love Twins go around advertising free sex to get enough guys to give them the samples they need. As Lacey and Lindsey team up on Christian orally, Brooke and Daisy lay back on a table for Dino and Justin to fuck them missionary style. Daisy also rides Will reverse cowgirl style and gives him some nice head as Christian works his way between the twins eating and then fucking them. The guys move around to fuck the girls in the common positions before the twins have them each try to cum in a test tube.
This scene is pretty much a mess of bodies with the key word being mess. The Love Twins, Brooke, and Daisy can all turn out a good fuck scene, but it just doesn't work here. The camera work feels like it's trying to capture too much of what's going on around the room and gets fairly jerky because of it. The editing also left plenty to be desired, as when it shifted between groups the action you were seeing in the background with one group isn't what's happening when it goes to a closer shot of the group. Although Brooke and Daisy looked to turn out a good fuck, there's enough going wrong with this scene that it didn't do much of anything for me.
|Scene 4 Lacey Love, Lindsey Love, and Jack Lawrence|
When Jack stops by to talk to the Love Twins about what happened at the lab the other day they take him inside to explain. While one of the girls sucks and strokes Jack the other stands in the doorway watching and diddling herself lightly. Jack crawls over to the other twin after a bit and eats her pussy while her sister watches and diddles herself before fucking his way between the girls missionary style. He also lets them have a little doggie fucking before he pops between their faces.
This is probably the best scene in the movie, but that doesn't mean too much with some of what it's up against. Jack has pretty good chemistry with the girls and works his way between them nicely. The positions are extremely limited, however, and made the scene drag a little because of it. I did like the romantic feeling that the low lighting gave the scene, but at the same time I can see others being disappointed with it for the same reason. This scene might actually make it above the average mark.
Twins Do Science is the most painfully bad porn movie I've watched in a long time. The problem might be a difference in the sense of humor between myself and Paul Thomas, as he seems to have set out to make an intentionally cheesy movie, but rather than coming out as the fun kind of cheesy movie it came out as the kind where you wonder if you're going to have to make an appointment with the chiropractor to undo the damage done to your body for wincing so hard and long. The story isn't bad, and with the right cast it could have had some very good potential. Unfortunately the best acting and moments in the movie came from non-sex performers Frank Bukkwyd, Julian Ott, and Steven St. Croix who brought some legitimate humor to the movie. The Love Twins, however, showed why people still have good reason to make fun of porn movies as they showed acting skills rivaling what you can find with a preschool class trying to perform The Merchant of Venice. The biggest difference between the two is that the preschoolers doing Shakespeare would be far less painful than watching the Love Twins do anything but fuck and suck. Unfortunately the fucking and sucking also left a lot to be desired here due to a fair amount of very noticeable camera motion, choppy editing, and editing that in some cases didn't even seem to put the shots together in the right order. When I saw that Twins Do Science didn't even last an hour and a quarter starting the movie I was a little disappointed thinking that this movie would be over before it started. Instead I ended up wishing it would have been over before it started with every instance taking a lifetime. Twins Do Science has a good idea behind it, but sadly that's about the only thing good about it.
The Extra StuffTrailers are included for Cry Wolf, Matt's Models 6, Shooting Savanna, and Team Squirt 5. The photo gallery lasts almost for minutes and takes about four seconds to annoyingly pan around or zoom in on each full screen photo. I absolutely abhor this style, and didn't make it fifteen seconds into the gallery because of it. Bonus scenes are included from Love Life, Stop Staring, Alphabet, Double Up, and Foreplay which last longer than the actual movie. There's also a bio on the Love Twins and plenty of commercials.
The behind the scenes featurette lasts about thirteen and a half minutes. After a montage of shots from around the shoot, Hank talks with the Love Twins as they chat and whine. Daisy is next, who has a little fun with her interview talking about herself, orgies, and girls before giving a little show. There's also a bit of Paul Thomas trying to work with the twins and the cast hanging out before the group scene. This is an okay little featurette. Daisy and the guys add some nice humor and eye candy to the featurette while the Twins continue to look like they were brought to the set in a short bus. This featurette adds a little to the overall DVD, but considering how much I hated the movie that doesn't take much.
The Down -n- Dirty Sex Stuff
Themes: Straight, oral, and group
Raincoat Factor: Medium
Condom Usage: None
The Bottom Line:Currently, many Vivid DVDs can be found online for between about $17 and $25 with several stores offering them for under $20. Don't even consider paying that much for this release, and if you have to watch it please rent it first. The movie is beyond stupid and the sex hovers around the average mark at its best. The technical aspects are bad and there's a bit of effort put into the extras to help out the overall DVD, but with most time spent in bonus scenes than the movie and BTS featurette I can't think that much of the release either. This DVD is a huge disappointment.
Note to Vivid: It's great that you want to give people a full DVD, but there's something not quite right when the bonus scenes last over half again as long as the movie people bought the DVD to get.
If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .
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