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Topless Academy's Guide To Bartending
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Topless Academy's Guide To Bartending

Studio: 3 Vision Entertainment
Category:  Instructional , Softcore

Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD RentStreaming/Download
astroknight's ratings for Topless Academy's Guide To Bartending:
Overall Rating 3 stars
Topless Academy's Guide To Bartending overall rating 3 stars
Female Looks Topless Academy's Guide To Bartending Female looks rating 3.5 stars
Male Looks Topless Academy's Guide To Bartending Male looks rating 3 stars
Sex Topless Academy's Guide To Bartending Sex rating 0 stars
 
Plot/Acting Topless Academy's Guide To Bartending Plot/Acting rating 5 stars
Extras Topless Academy's Guide To Bartending DVD Extras rating 1 star
Audio/Video Quality Topless Academy's Guide To Bartending A/V Quality rating 3.5 stars
Worth$15.00
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Reviewed by astroknight  on  9/30/2005

The Little Details

Running Time: 58 min.

Production Date: 2003

Director: David Horowitz

Cast: Skye Ashton, Alex Arden, Laurie Wallace, Chrissy Sparks, Elle Williams, April Hanna, Tawny Young, Nicole, Penny Flame, Aubrey Taylor, Gabriella, Kira Lane, Shae Lynn, George Hobbs, David Horowitz, and Nic Brandt

The Short Story

Initial Expectations: This one sounds fun enough that I just canít resist it!

Initial Reaction: Itís surprisingly educational as well as a lot of fun.

Who Should Watch It : Anybody wanting to learn mixology

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody wanting a lot of tease or any sex

The Technical Stuff

Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are pretty good. The audio is clear and nicely balanced without any background noises. The video is nicely lit, but does have a touch of grain. Once of the cameras also pokes into view now and then.

Music: Thereís a bit of classically styled music which nicely rests in the background throughout the movie.

False Advertising: The cover lists bloopers, behind the scenes, and outtakes very clearly on the front cover. Sadly, theyíre not included anywhere on the DVD that I can see. For this reason, Iím deducting a full point from the overall score.

Menus: The menus are extremely basic. Both the main menu and the chapter menu just lay out your choices with stills of the girls around them.

The Feature

Due to the dropping off relationship between a manís attention span and visual stimulation, the Topless Academy has developed a new method to impart information. They have many different subjects they cover, such as piano lessons, abstract self expression, and sixteenth century lesbian limericks, but here the focus is on bartending, led by Master Bates.

Master Bates, aka George Hobbs, starts with the basics, namely setting up the bar and the equipment behind it. He goes through the many different types of glasses, as well as different types of alcohol, mixers, and condiments. Hobbs moves on to cover serving drinks. He starts simple with beer, and moves through wine and into mixed drinks. He covers counting for pours, and goes from basic drinks through two step drinks such as screwdrivers and onto fancy mixed drinks such as long island teas. He even covers blended drinks such as strawberry margaritas, frozen daiquiris, and pina coladas and muddled drinks such as the old fashioned and mojitos. Hot drinks arenít left out, as Irish, Mexican, and Kioki coffees are covered as well as the hot toddie. Of course, thereís also specific drinks such as the bloody mary and martini and their offshoots, the rob roys and manhattans. Finally, thereís shooters such as B-52s, buttery and slippery nipples, blowjobs, and body shots. After the drinks, Hobbs gives several tips on how to be a better bartender, from who to serve first to what to never forget.

Topless Academyís Guide to Bartending is a surprisingly well done movie. It does a fantastic job balancing humor and information, and never sacrifices the information for the humor. Hobbs does a fantastic job moving things along, and never seems to lose his focus through the movie. He seems very knowledgeable on mixology, and as he went through the over fifty different drinks there were several times when I skipped back after watching him make a drink because I felt like I might have missed something. The girls are hot, and do a very nice job as his very able bodied assistants. Topless Academyís Guide to Bartending is an extremely well done feature on bartending, and one that Iíd highly recommend to anybody who wants to learn about mixing drinks.

The Extra Stuff

A trailer is included for the movie thatís short but very amusing. Unfortunately, the outtakes, bloopers, and behind the scenes that are advertised on the front cover are nowhere to be seen, which is easily the biggest thing to hold back the entire DVD.

The Down -n- Dirty Sex Stuff

Themes: Softcore and instructional

Raincoat Factor: Extremely low

Condom Usage: None needed

The Bottom Line:

Currently, the Topless Academyís Guide to Bartending can be found online for about $15. If youíre at all curious about mixing drinks, this oneís well worth the money. The technical aspects are nicely done, but sadly thereís virtually no effort put into the extras (even though the cover says there is). The only thing that really holds this one back is the false cover advertising.

Note to Topless Academy: I hope you release many more DVDs like this, but please watch your cover claims!!!

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

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