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Throbin Hood

Throbin Hood

Studio: Dreamland
Category:  Comedy , Couples
Directed by:
Starring: , , , , , , , , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD RentStreaming/Download
Morrigan's ratings for Throbin Hood:
Overall Rating 4 stars
Throbin Hood overall rating 4 stars
Female Looks Throbin Hood Female looks rating 4.5 stars
Male Looks Throbin Hood Male looks rating 3.5 stars
Sex Throbin Hood Sex rating 4 stars
Plot/Acting Throbin Hood Plot/Acting rating 3.5 stars
Extras Throbin Hood DVD Extras rating 1.5 stars
Audio/Video Quality Throbin Hood A/V Quality rating 2 stars
Rating Scale
Reviewed by Morrigan  on  7/17/2000

Throbin Hood...Prince of Beaves

My favorite children's tale turned naughty? Hell yeah! This has to be one of the funniest porn films I have ever seen. It has plot , great camera shots, Ron Jeremy, and oh yeah, lots o' sex. Here's the lowdown...

The Cast:
  • Angelica Sin as Maid Mary Ann
  • Alicia Allure as Village Wench 1
  • Terri Star as Village Wench 2
  • Rich Handsome as Prince Dick
  • Anna Malle as Queen Caroline
  • Steve Austin as Squire of Pennypinch
  • Randy Spears as Sheriff Naughty Ham
  • Nakita Cash as Maid Ginger
  • Joel Lawrence as Alan A'tail
  • Alec Metro as Throbin Hood
  • Ron Jeremy as Friar Fuck
  • Ron Vogel as Little Dong
  • Directed by Cash Markman
The Plot:

Well, this is your basic porn plot with a great twist. Easy women, horny men and the funniest chapter interludes I have ever seen in any film.

The film opens with a hilarious little ditty by Alan A'tail. He also pops up between each scene to sing us neat little tunes about how well maids can suck your cock while milking the cow...or was that the other way around? I can hardly remember, I was laughing so hard. You also get the great little Medieval bookpages that turn before each scene. You all know what I'm talking about, the "Meanwhile, back at the ranch..." routine.

Chapter one: We meet Throbin and his band of merry men. They are grousing in reaaaally bad English accents around the campfire about the current state of affairs in Merry olde England. Apparently, Queen Caroline and the Sheriff of Naughty Ham have imposed a tax upon, you guessed it....Pussy. Now Throbin and his men are pretty cranked about something they think should be free. HA! There just ain't no such thing as a free lunch, honey! Oh, sorry, was that my out loud voice again? :)

Ahem, back to the story...As I was saying, in retaliation for the tax, they have waylaid the Squire of Pennypinch, who has been collecting the tax for the Queen. They steal his jewels, his condom pouch (now that really sucks!), and his two "maids". Yeah, right. The first thing these girls do is go off for some Sherwood Forest style scrompin' with Friar Tuck, Little Dong and Throbin himself. We have the sex scene with Throbin and then the sex scene with Friar Fuck. Poor Little Dong gets left out because Friar Fuck wears the wench out. During all this humpage, we learn that Mary Ann has been kidnapped by the Sheriff and the Queen and is currently imprisoned as a, get this, MAID in the castle. Gee, who'da thunk it? Meanwhile, Throbin pines away for his sweet Mary Ann.

Chapter two: Mary Ann is scrubbing the floors of the Prince's chambers and revealing her ample cleavage to the best of her ability. Damn, I wish MY cleavage looked like that. I think I'm jealous...She tantalizes the Prince, makes some sad faces and then he leaves. Leaves?! What? This is a porn movie, For The Love of Pete! You're supposed to screw her, not walk out of the room, you royal dork!!!!

Uh, sorry, bit of the backseat director in me coming out...won't happen again, I promise.

The Sheriff of Naughty Ham and the Queen have an unbelievably hot scene, once he gets her chastity belt off, that is. This was a gorgeous scene with some out-of- this-world camera angles. They plot the requisite archery contest, only the prize isn't Maid Mary Ann's hand, it's her body. Go figure.

Chapter three: Back in the woods, Throbin finds out about the contest and the prize and decides to enter the contest(no sex forward unless you really like the plot).

Chapter four: The Queen has a bubble bath given to her by none other than Mary Ann and Maid Ginger. I'll go into detail on this in a minute. Hot, hot, hot scene and I'm not even into girl/girl action all that much. The girls have their fun and the Queen tells Mary Ann she's to be the prize in the archery contest.

So, They have the archery contest, which degenerates into a jack-off contest. "Hey, I can squirt 50 yards, no problem!" Throbin (in disguise) scores a bullseye, the Sheriff just dribbles all over his nice, velvety slippers. LAH-OO-SER! Robin is unmasked, ducks into the castle with Mary Ann and immediately gets surprised by the Prince who, repulsed by the come-ons from the Queen(hey, he's her stepkid, ok? It's not THAT kind of movie.) has decided to hang out with the outlaws and help them escape the castle after dark. And, of course, to bide the time until the figure a way out of the locked room they're all in, they decide to have a bit 'o fun. Here follows the most tastefully done, attractive, and all-around sexy DP scene I have ever witnessed. Makes me want to try that at home, ladies and gentlemen.

And of course, my fellow pornophiles, we can't have it end there. Oh, no...Alan A'tail gets his very own rap during the end credits. Yes, you heard me, a RAP. I think I actually hurt something laughing.

The Sex:

Ok, ladies and gents, you get five sex scenes on this DVD. Each one is accessible from the menu and picks up at or before the foreplay, not the vagicam shot.

Scene 1: Throbin Hood and Village Wench 2. Here we have Throbin and Village Wench 2 going at it on a blanket in the woods. This is your pretty standard oral/oral/position 1,2,3/cumshot scene. Both actors are easy on the eyes and the scene is tastefully filmed. No super-close-up vagicam shots, thank heavens. Not much here really sticks out in my mind. Except for that annoying fake moustache on Alec Metro.

Scene 2: Friar Fuck and Village Wench 1. Mmmmm....Ron Jeremy getting busy, and being funny while doing so . Interesting to say the least. Very cute scene. Well, actually, Alicia Allure is cute. She, well, there's only one way to put this, COOS up at Friar Fuck while he's huffing away. I was a bit concerned for her because, it seems whatever thing they have her lounging upon to do this scene was definitely not comfortable. The sequence of events is unique in this scene. The Friar goes down on her, then he slowly slips it to her for a bit, then she gives him head, then they go to again and finish with the cumshot. Oh, and for those of you who aren't Ron Jeremy fans(shame on you all!), he keeps his frock on for this scene.

Scene 3: Queen Caroline and the Sheriff of Naughty Ham. Ok, first thing here: Randy Spears can act and is hillarious in this scene. Second thing, I have discovered the secret of a great sex scene, girls and boys: Take 1 chastity belt, 1 metal bra, 1 long, red velvety couch, 1 fireplace, some kick-ass camera angles, two willing participants and VOILA, you've got shower nozzle masturbation material for at least a week. This scene is worth it just for the camera angles.

Scene 4: Queen Caroline, Maid Ginger and Maid Mary Ann. Yeowch! Hot, hot, hot. And here I thought all girl/girl scenes were boring. Boy, was I wrong. I don't recall seeing Nakita Cash before, but oh my, the tongue on that girl. The only strange thing here was that all three women have the same body. I had to tell them apart by the different landing strips from the waist down. This scene starts with a sponge bath and ends with a tongue bath. All three girls get to cum(fake or real, I couldn't tell) and the visual image of water being poured down poor, helpless Maid Ginger's body is just fascinating.

Scene 5: Throbin Hood, Prince Dick, and Maid Mary Ann. Oh, my goodness. This is an excellent scene if you can get past the weak-ass opening dialogue. The three of them change position too often for me to keep count. Angelica Sin has a very athletic reverse cowboy scene here(Men, take note!). The DP scene is just too cool. She looks to be enjoying herself, which is more than I can say for the majority of DP scenes I've viewed in the past. The cumshot is pretty interesting to watch too-- it's that thing she does with her breasts...I can't even describe it.

The Image/Audio:

I noticed some pixelation in the image. This was really obvious when there was anything red on the screen. And seeing as how there are a lot of red backgrounds in this film, you see what I have been reliably informed are known as "artifacts". Blech!

The Extras:

Well, there ain't too much to speak of here, boys and girls. The menu on this disc is very basic. You have 4 choices: Play the movie, Look at the photo gallery, pick one of the Five Sex Scenes, or check out the contact info for the producers/distributors. I checked out the picture gallery and I wished I hadn't--- waaay too many cum-dribbing/cum bubble pics for my taste. Ick. There is no multi-angle option on this disc. I'd say I'm not impressed, but I like this DVD too much to complain.

The Good:

Joel Lawrence, you are the man. I just had to say that right off.

I really like the costumes. For the most part, these look like someone took the time to do their research. They're pretty accurate right down to the trim on the sleeves. I'm impressed.

There are some great moments where I had to hit the pause button. One is when Friar Fuck has the time-honored dilemma: Do I want to eat my nice, juicy turkey leg, or this nice, juicy pussy in front of me. I actually expected him to do a taste test!

The Bad:

Throbin's costume sucked ass. He looks like a guy in a bad spandex Robin Hood outfit or the Jolly Green Giant on crack. I couldn't decide which.

My pet peeve: If you're going to make an attempt at a period movie, have the decency not to inflict multiple piercings, 10 rings on each finger, dragon lady nails and tattoos on your porn-purchasing audience. Some of us DO notice these things. Especially when everything else is so well done. And what's up with the damned slo-mo shots in random parts of the film? They look like they might be there for a reason, but they just distracted the hell out of me.

The Ugly:

There isn't much in this film that's ugly. Besides, I was laughing too hard to notice.


This movie would be a perfect couples flick. I could have survived without some of the acting and the painful attempts at a Medieval English accent. But, this rates pretty high up on my must-see porn list.

Great movie. I wanna see it again and again and again....

Oh, and I learned an important lesson learned from watching this movie:
Never leave home without your turkey leg!

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The opinions expressed in this review of Throbin Hood from Dreamland are not necessarily the opinions of Adult DVD Talk. Adult DVD Talk provides a public forum for consumers to post their DVD reviews. Adult DVD Talk does not edit these reviews.