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This Ain't Terminator XXX 3D

Studio: Hustler
Category:  Feature film
Directed by:
Starring: , , , , , , , , , ,
Released on: 
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bono-ONE's ratings for This Ain't Terminator XXX 3D:
Overall Rating 3.5 stars
This Ain't Terminator XXX 3D overall rating 3.5 stars
Female Looks This Ain't Terminator XXX 3D Female looks rating 4.5 stars
Male Looks This Ain't Terminator XXX 3D Male looks rating 3 stars
Sex This Ain't Terminator XXX 3D Sex rating 4 stars
 
Plot/Acting This Ain't Terminator XXX 3D Plot/Acting rating 3.5 stars
Extras This Ain't Terminator XXX 3D DVD Extras rating 3.5 stars
Audio/Video Quality This Ain't Terminator XXX 3D A/V Quality rating 4 stars
Worth$17.00
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Reviewed by bono-ONE  on  2/8/2013
Greetings porn fans. I have a new parody title from recent AVN director winner Axel Braun and the movie in question is a Sci/Fi classic-- The Terminator!! Yeah the movie that helped make Arnold a huge star and launched a pretty good series of films that followed. If I'm not mistaken there is to be a new installment with Arnold coming back, we shall have to wait on that one though. This movie here is based on the first in the series which introduced all the main characters such as The Terminator, Kyle Reese and Sarah Connor herself. In this show that role goes to Bailey Blue while Dick Delaware gets The Terminator and Brendon Miller is Kyle Reese. One thing I noticed watching this movie and this might turn off some of the die hard fans of this franchise is they made this much more of a comedy rather than the more dramatic film that James Cameron made.

They filmmakers do work in some cool special effects like when both Dick and Brendon travel back in time you see the big light circle appear followed by them showing up naked. Another effect used nicely in this show was the vision through the Terminators eyes which is briefly used in the first movie but much better in T2-- this is the effect we get used here when Dick shows up in a strip bar.

Juelz Ventura:

The story opens with Dick appearing much like Arnold did but unlike that debut here Dick isn't alone with Juelz and two guys there in the alley way. Alex Gonz and Billy Glide are on hand to have their way with Juelz who isn't playing an important character in this but who would turn down a chance to watch this pretty lady. I thought it was a bit odd to have Dick standing there just watching, though, for the early part of the scene while the threesome was ongoing. It didn't seem odd to them either as the guys quipped about there being an audience now so she better put on a good show. It wasn't a bad scene and after you have Dick stepping in asking about Sarah Connor and the two guys try to act tough but hey dudes you're all naked including Dick who shoves both aside. He takes care of Juelz off camera and this is really the only time he even gets somewhat violent in the entire show another change from the real movie.

Melina Mason & Brett Rossi:

The movie then moves to a strip club where Dick shows up and you get the nice visual effect when he confronts a bouncer who is quickly shoved aside. Dick then finds Brett who brings in Melina as the two shove Dick into a seat and he watches a pretty decent g/g take place. Breast play and some oral are captured. The lighting was a bit dark of course this being a strip club and at least Dick was wearing clothes now. We don't get any explanation on how he found that a Sarah Connor worked there where as in the Hollywood version you had Reese and Arnold looking up where the various Sarah's lived in LA.

Leya Falcon:

Still in the strip club we do get a Sarah Connor showing up but it isn't the one he's looking for. This Sarah is one of the dancers who apparently doesn't know there's any danger possibly about to happen, not that Dick was acting menacing at all. Seems this Sarah is known for her BJs and that is what we get here as the Terminator gets his cyborg cock sucked but good by Leya who looks great wearing a cowboy hat.

Julia Ann:

By the time we get to Julia's scene Brendon has finally decided to time travel here and join the story. A stark departure from the movie version too as he's more of a bumbling fool trying to go all over finding Sarah Connor unlike Michael Biehn who was all badass in the real movie. But back to Julia who plays a Milf Sarah as she's billed for this show. The Terminator shows up at her door and she thinks he's an escort and pulls him right in. Dick is shown a real good time by Julia who even gives us some good anal action in this one before the pop comes to her ass. At this time Brendon comes crashing through her door and it is he who actually fires off a volley of gunfire that ends up killing Julia-- yeah Kyle Reese kills Sarah Connor in this one, ouch!

Bailey Blue:

As the story begins to wind down, at least as much of a story as we've seen they finally bring in the real Sarah Connor that the Terminator has been sent back to kill? We can't really be sure since only one Sarah has died and that was from Kyle shooting her. Dick has only been fucking babes since he's been back in our time. So Brendon shows up to Sarah's pad and tries the ole I'm a cable guy here to fix a problem. When that doesn't work he is like I'm a plumber, whatever please open the door, lol. Bailey does and yeah she's looking hot. We move ahead to Brendon inside her apartment and he has already told her the story about the future events that will unfold and she seems to believe him so the two take off. They end up in a big room and I have to say Bailey's outfit here was pretty close to what Linda had on and the two decide to fuck. Not much relationship building has taken place unlike what we had between Michael and Linda on the big screen. And I get the idea that Brendon knows he's supposed to be the daddy and again that's a big departure from what the original story was. In fact he fucks up the pop which you'd think would be an internal one by blowing his load just outside the pussy. Bailey tries to scoop some in but alas the Terminator has found them. Seems Bailey updated her face book status with their exact location, lol. The story isn't quite over as they have the final confrontation where the Terminator loses his skin, Brendon dies planting a bomb on him and Sarah gets Dick in that machine which crushes him. But his cyborg cock comes back to life just as the credits are about to hit-- sequel perhaps!!!

Final Thoughts:

Overall this was ok but much like The Expendables parody he did last year this one changes a bit to much of the story for my taste. At least the parts that helped make those two respective movies so good. Bailey Blue as the main Sarah isn't on screen long enough and comes in like half way through the movie. Dick I assume isn't supposed to be a big bad ass as he only really asks are you Sarah Connor and not much else. There were a few good effects in this and the actual sex scenes weren't to bad. I see this as more of a rental for those who aren't die hard Terminator fans because if you are then this story here is different in many ways from what you are used to. I just watched The Terminator to brush up and they hit some points pretty good but changed some as well. Brendon being not as tough as Michael was a change that didn't work for me. I wouldn't mind another crack at the story for Axel because he does make really good parodies when he wants to this one here just didn't quite reach that level for me. Of course if they do a T2 much more of Bailey Blue is in order and that wouldn't be a bad thing at all.

I realize there is a 3D version for this as well but I only checked out the regular version.



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