* DIRECTOR: Rick Blaine (1998) * DURATION: »120mins * FEMMES: Alyssa Allure, Angelica Sin,
Ariana, Chloe, Emily Jewel, Kiss & Porsche
Lynn. [Non-Sex] Allysin Chaynes.
WELCOME to Rieekan
Review #7Tattoo. Against all
sensibility, I chose Tattoo over My
First Time Ever 3: Suddenly Stacy. At any
rate, I’ve learnt my lesson and the only thing
now preventing me from making intelligent DVD
choices is a lack of money. Consult also DeathIncarnate’s review or
reviewer’s summary for
more thoughts on the good and bad of
Tattoo isn’t all bad but it’s an ordinary
skin flick at best. The story revolves around
an ‘attraction’ (I use the term lightly in
relation to Ariana) whose body is covered with
magical tattoos that suck her audience into their
sexual fantasies. The story is passable, the set-
ups are good, the acting is decent and there are
some impressive special effects to boot.
EXTRAS: None. Zero. Nada.
NOTES: I assume the lack of a time code is
why I can’t jump to any point with PowerDVD – a
major annoyance. Also, there aren’t any distinct
A/V problems (as raised by the other reviewers)
with this DVD on my computer. It may have
SCENE 1: Chloe & John Decker.
Chloe looks sexy in skimpy clothes. There is some
foreplay but she goes straight for the main
course. Her short blowjob turns into a standing
69, which is a nice acrobatic feat but this isn’t
Olympic gymnastics. John enjoys a lot of oral
attention, virtually none for Chloe. They screw
in mish, cowgirl and missionary anal, ending with
a new white tattoo on her stomach. Chloe overacts
but this is a lot better than typical
underacting. However, their annoying
talking hurt the scene’s warmth. Although a
decent scene, the positions were drawn out and
lacked variety. Nice music though.
SCENE 2: Angelica Sin & Frank Towers.
The Xena set-up was overdrawn but a nice touch; a
lot of effort was put in this movie. After
triumphing in less-than-mortal combat, Frank
enjoys a medieval screw. Angelica is a very sexy
redhead with nice tits. She blows him kneeling
and the subsequent 69 has some very flattering
close-ups of her face and chest. She rides
Frank’s tower and shows star quality, using her
hands and talking sexy. Unfortunately, the action
is mechanical and not broken up with oral,
foreplay or enough close-ups of Angelica. Frank
cums anti-climactically on her butt after doggy
pumping. Warm thanks to Angelica.
SCENE 3: Charlie & Kiss.
Kiss is a hard-faced and rather unattractive
blonde, but Charlie looks incredibly cute and
delicious here as the Goddess of Love. The two
lovely bodies have a warm, well-filmed scene with
nice music and some food play. Charlie likes
girls but there is minimal licking of breasts and
virtually no kissing. After the Goddess eats her
guest, she receives a strap-on offering. The
penetration was extended and one-dimensional
despite some good angles, and though I hate toys
this was acceptable. Still, a gentler scene or
some meat in the mix would have been much better.
And despite her name, Kiss’ mouth doesn’t go near
any of Charlie’s lips.
SCENE 4: Emily Jewel & Herschel Savage.
Emily, an ordinary blonde with a bad accent, is
mostly obscured by Herschel’s Herculean girth.
The scene starts with some licking for her. She’s
not attractive but there are some good close
shots. The music is novel but very bad. After
some cowgirl, the gentle and quiet mish ends with
his load on her body. This scene is
unexceptional – the sex in Tattoo moves
through only two or three routine positions, is
significantly overdrawn and generally not warm.
SCENE 5: Alyssa Allure, Porsche Lynn &
This scene certainly spices things up in a very
bad way. We almost enjoy the tantalising Allysin
Chaynes but are instead pistol-whipped with
Alyssa Allure. It’s a three-way tie in the ugly
stakes with Dick Nasty and 50-odd Porsche Lynn as
well. There are many things wrong with this
scene, ably demonstrated by Porsche’s invasion of
Dick’s rectum with a strap-on. This is the most
disgusting scene I have the mispleasure of
owning, which is unsurprising given Allure, who
studied dirty talk from The Exorcist. Oh
SCENE 6: Ariana & John Decker.
Don’t let the cover deceive you – Ariana’s face
is very angular, hardened and unattractive. She
is festooned with tattoos as well as genital
rings, nipple rings and a tongue stud; she’s not
much of a dancer either. He licks her briefly
then she sucks his cock. They go through the
motions in cowgirl, doggy and mish. She makes a
bit of noise but doesn’t talk while Decker just
thrusts his way into his time-card. He gets off a
forceful shot, which decorates her face (but was
slightly out of frame). Robotic and less than
Tattoo isn’t great The photography is
consistently good and the sex is slow and gentle,
which worked at certain moments. Unfortunately,
there just isn’t a whole lot of variety, warmth
or excitement. The scenes with Angelica Sin and
Charlie were quite good, the rest below average,
with the exception of the ‘unique’ fifth scene.
The opinions expressed in this review of Tattoo from Ultimate are not necessarily the opinions of Adult DVD Talk. Adult DVD Talk provides a public forum for consumers to post their DVD reviews. Adult DVD Talk does not edit these reviews.