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Studio: Ultimate
Category:  Straight
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Starring: , , , , , , , , , , ,
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Rieekan's ratings for Tattoo:
Overall Rating 2.5 stars
Tattoo overall rating 2.5 stars
Female Looks Tattoo Female looks rating 2.5 stars
Male Looks Tattoo Male looks rating 2 stars
Sex Tattoo Sex rating 2 stars
Plot/Acting Tattoo Plot/Acting rating 3 stars
Extras Tattoo DVD Extras rating 0 stars
Audio/Video Quality Tattoo A/V Quality rating 2.5 stars
Rating Scale
Reviewed by Rieekan  on  9/8/2001

* DIRECTOR: Rick Blaine (1998)
* DURATION: »120mins
* FEMMES: Alyssa Allure, Angelica Sin, Ariana, Chloe, Emily Jewel, Kiss & Porsche Lynn.
[Non-Sex] Allysin Chaynes.

WELCOME to Rieekan Review #7 Tattoo. Against all sensibility, I chose Tattoo over My First Time Ever 3: Suddenly Stacy. At any rate, I’ve learnt my lesson and the only thing now preventing me from making intelligent DVD choices is a lack of money. Consult also DeathIncarnate’s review or reviewer’s summary for more thoughts on the good and bad of Tattoo.

Tattoo isn’t all bad but it’s an ordinary skin flick at best. The story revolves around an ‘attraction’ (I use the term lightly in relation to Ariana) whose body is covered with magical tattoos that suck her audience into their sexual fantasies. The story is passable, the set- ups are good, the acting is decent and there are some impressive special effects to boot.

EXTRAS: None. Zero. Nada.

NOTES: I assume the lack of a time code is why I can’t jump to any point with PowerDVD – a major annoyance. Also, there aren’t any distinct A/V problems (as raised by the other reviewers) with this DVD on my computer. It may have been re-mastered.

SCENE 1: Chloe & John Decker.
Chloe looks sexy in skimpy clothes. There is some foreplay but she goes straight for the main course. Her short blowjob turns into a standing 69, which is a nice acrobatic feat but this isn’t Olympic gymnastics. John enjoys a lot of oral attention, virtually none for Chloe. They screw in mish, cowgirl and missionary anal, ending with a new white tattoo on her stomach. Chloe overacts but this is a lot better than typical underacting. However, their annoying talking hurt the scene’s warmth. Although a decent scene, the positions were drawn out and lacked variety. Nice music though.

SCENE 2: Angelica Sin & Frank Towers.
The Xena set-up was overdrawn but a nice touch; a lot of effort was put in this movie. After triumphing in less-than-mortal combat, Frank enjoys a medieval screw. Angelica is a very sexy redhead with nice tits. She blows him kneeling and the subsequent 69 has some very flattering close-ups of her face and chest. She rides Frank’s tower and shows star quality, using her hands and talking sexy. Unfortunately, the action is mechanical and not broken up with oral, foreplay or enough close-ups of Angelica. Frank cums anti-climactically on her butt after doggy pumping. Warm thanks to Angelica.

SCENE 3: Charlie & Kiss.
Kiss is a hard-faced and rather unattractive blonde, but Charlie looks incredibly cute and delicious here as the Goddess of Love. The two lovely bodies have a warm, well-filmed scene with nice music and some food play. Charlie likes girls but there is minimal licking of breasts and virtually no kissing. After the Goddess eats her guest, she receives a strap-on offering. The penetration was extended and one-dimensional despite some good angles, and though I hate toys this was acceptable. Still, a gentler scene or some meat in the mix would have been much better. And despite her name, Kiss’ mouth doesn’t go near any of Charlie’s lips.

SCENE 4: Emily Jewel & Herschel Savage.
Emily, an ordinary blonde with a bad accent, is mostly obscured by Herschel’s Herculean girth. The scene starts with some licking for her. She’s not attractive but there are some good close shots. The music is novel but very bad. After some cowgirl, the gentle and quiet mish ends with his load on her body. This scene is unexceptional – the sex in Tattoo moves through only two or three routine positions, is significantly overdrawn and generally not warm.

SCENE 5: Alyssa Allure, Porsche Lynn & Dick Nasty.
This scene certainly spices things up in a very bad way. We almost enjoy the tantalising Allysin Chaynes but are instead pistol-whipped with Alyssa Allure. It’s a three-way tie in the ugly stakes with Dick Nasty and 50-odd Porsche Lynn as well. There are many things wrong with this scene, ably demonstrated by Porsche’s invasion of Dick’s rectum with a strap-on. This is the most disgusting scene I have the mispleasure of owning, which is unsurprising given Allure, who studied dirty talk from The Exorcist. Oh the humanity!

SCENE 6: Ariana & John Decker.
Don’t let the cover deceive you – Ariana’s face is very angular, hardened and unattractive. She is festooned with tattoos as well as genital rings, nipple rings and a tongue stud; she’s not much of a dancer either. He licks her briefly then she sucks his cock. They go through the motions in cowgirl, doggy and mish. She makes a bit of noise but doesn’t talk while Decker just thrusts his way into his time-card. He gets off a forceful shot, which decorates her face (but was slightly out of frame). Robotic and less than warm.

Tattoo isn’t great The photography is consistently good and the sex is slow and gentle, which worked at certain moments. Unfortunately, there just isn’t a whole lot of variety, warmth or excitement. The scenes with Angelica Sin and Charlie were quite good, the rest below average, with the exception of the ‘unique’ fifth scene.

I wouldn’t recommend this one.

NEXT RIEEKAN REVIEW A Week In The Life Of Kristi Myst

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The opinions expressed in this review of Tattoo from Ultimate are not necessarily the opinions of Adult DVD Talk. Adult DVD Talk provides a public forum for consumers to post their DVD reviews. Adult DVD Talk does not edit these reviews.