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Short & Sleazy

Short & Sleazy

Studio: Pulse Pictures
Category:  Gonzo
Directed by:
Starring: , , , , , , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD RentStreaming/Download
Crucifixio Jones's ratings for Short & Sleazy:
Overall Rating 3.5 stars
Short & Sleazy overall rating 3.5 stars
Female Looks Short & Sleazy Female looks rating 3.5 stars
Male Looks Short & Sleazy Male looks rating 2.5 stars
Sex Short & Sleazy Sex rating 4 stars
Plot/Acting Short & Sleazy Plot/Acting rating 0 stars
Extras Short & Sleazy DVD Extras rating 3.5 stars
Audio/Video Quality Short & Sleazy A/V Quality rating 4 stars
Rating Scale
Reviewed by Crucifixio Jones  on  2/5/2006

A Trip Outside of the Comfort Zone…

Short & Sleazy

2005, 2 hours and 56 minutes
Pulse Pictures
Directed by Bryan Xin
Starring Penny Flame, Jersey Jaxin, Vanessa Lane, Cassie Courtland, Kaiya Lynn & Courtney Simpson

What You Should Know:
Today my horoscope read "Destruction is part of growth." When “things falls apart“, you build something new with the remains. Bryan Xin has had many things “fall apart“ in his relatively short career as a director but he‘s always managed to pick up the pieces and come back better than before. Known primarily as a man who focuses on movies whose themes are large natural tits and nice asses, Bryan took a swing at asians with his Pervasian and once again takes a stab at a unique choice, short women. Now having seen my fair share of stars in person, I thought they were all short so I was curious as to how Xin was going to make this work. I haven‘t seen a movie dedicated to this since Wicked released “Spinners“ back in the day so I was interested in seeing how Bryan would make the disparity in height obvious to the home viewer. For the sake of brevity, I‘m going to skip Jersey Jaxin and the unfortunate tattoo of Texas over her belly. I’m also going to zip by Cassie Courtland. But trust me, if Carmen Luvana and Barbara Summer were able to have a love child, she’d look just like Cassie. The meat here consists of the scenes that surround Jersey’s and Cassie’s, those of multiple AVN Award winner and naturally busty Penny Flame, the downright freakish yet highly attractive Vanessa Lane and the woman who might very well be a worthy successor to the legendary Mimi Miyagi, Kaiya Lynn.
Scene One: Penny Flame with Mark Ashley

Penny Flame is having a phenomenal first year as a performer. A relative newcomer, she took home two prestigious honors at the start of ‘06: Best Couples Sex Scene and Best Group Sex Scene at the AVN Awards, both for her turns in Red Light District‘s “Darkside.” If she can have award-worthy sex scenes with the likes of Randy Spears and Herschel Savage, we might be in for something here with Mark Ashley. After some tease, Penny drops to her knees and feasts on Mark‘s raging hard-on. As he feeds it to her, lots of stringy saliva falls from her chin and her eyes water as Ashley uses it all to fuck her tits. Penny also exhibits some talented hands, working Mark‘s shaft expertly as she sucks him. The two can hardly wait to get down to business as they hurriedly fly to a nearby sofa and Mark plunges his thick shaft into Penny‘s tiny twat. She growls and grumbles and her eyes roll back in her head as Mark works her over missionary. “Oh yes, that is fuckin‘ nice…that is so fuckin‘ good,” she moans in reverse cowgirl. Mark pounds the holy hell out of her and Penny literally worships his dick in between every position. She tells us “Oh my fuckin‘ God, I love cock. It feels perfect in my tight little pussy!” as she takes it in her mouth all the way down to the hilt. Doggie and more reverse cowgirl follow but with the way these two are tearing into each other and all of Flame‘s nasty dirty talk, it never gets boring. This girl absolutely and genuinely ADORES cock. A short spooning precedes Ashley plopping pecker paste right into Penny‘s mouth. Out of breath with mascara circles under her eyes, Flame couldn‘t be happier. I don‘t think I‘ve ever seen a disappointing Penny Flame scene and this most assuredly keeps the streak going, ranking up there with her best.

Scene Three: Vanessa Lane with Christian & Sascha

I knew when I first saw Vanessa Lane in Platinum X/John Strong’s “Altered Assholes“ that she was something special. With her hard upright bolt-ons and crazily-toned stripper body, frankly Vanessa Lane frightens me. Five feet and one inch of musculature and mayhem, she‘s as voracious and insatiable as she is flexible. As buff as he is, Christian may have his work cut out for him with this Seductress of Sinew and Suicide. Lane is a tight and hard-bodied little package and despite her small stature packs enough dynamite in that wiry little body to satisfy two men, so after blowing Christian, Sascha suddenly appears to join the proceedings. The guys are able to lift, throw and fold tiny Vanessa in a myriad of positions, burying their pricks in her doggie and then reverse cowgirl, where Lane looks as if she’s barely bigger than the dick she’s riding. After some intense mish, Vanessa bends over and let‘s the guys violate her anus doggie and then reverse cowgirl. After the fellas splatter her face with semen, Lane is still snarling and smiling, stroking and sucking every bit of spooge she can get out of their dicks and into her mouth and onto her chest.

Scene Five: Kaiya Lynn with Mark Ashley

Sometimes you hear high praise for a scene and it’s hard to believe the hype. Kaiya‘s a babe in this porn thing and she‘s even more new to anal sex, I thought. She‘s not ready for Mark Ashley. Let me tell you: all the advance warning about how hot this scene turned out to be completely warranted. From the tease to the blowjob to the money shot, your dick will be CONCRETE from beginning to end. If it‘s not, check your pulse because you might be dead. I have few joys watching porn nowadays but I‘m more than happy to say that one of them is watching Kaiya Lynn blow a guy. She can barely even fit Mark‘s pink pole into her tiny mouth but watching her try, looking at her wrestle with it, man, it really doesn‘t get any better. By the time he lies her back on a table, part her legs and thrusts that thing in her snatch, her nipples are standing straight up and her cunt a wet, sloppy mess. Get ready to label this one an “instant classic.“ I know you want to look at that phrase as a bit of biased hyperbole but I would reserve judgment until you actually see this scene. It‘s rare you see a girl so genuinely and thoroughly enjoy a boffing like this. Lynn effortlessly glides up and down Mark‘s cock cowgirl before taking him on doggie with a toy in her ass. Ashley‘s vein-laden boner soon replaces the toy and Kaiya is in hog heaven. The action gets so heated, so intense, the chemistry so great that Mark even switches from her ass to her pussy and vice versa with no objections from Kaiya as he lights into her. In reverse cowgirl anal, the energy is palpable. Mark fills her ass nicely and Kaiya licks every drop of her ass juice from his prick before sliding it back in her rectum cowgirl. By the time these two move from spoon to the cumshot, *I* am spent. And I just watched. Kaiya Lynn just moved up a WHOLE buncha notches on my “must-watch list.” Holy shit.


This is the fourth release from Pulse with typically fantastic results from Xin. The packaging and presentation is what we’ve come to expect from Pulse: excellent. King-size jewel case with colorful and eye-catching inserts for this two-disc set. I can‘t say that this one was heavy on really showing me its intended theme but it was still satisfying. If you‘re going to cater to an audience that supposedly has a fetish for shorter women, it might be a good idea to do more things that highlight that difference in height besides pairing them with guys who just happen to be a lot larger than the ladies. Chances are if you were to see this cast in another movie, their height wouldn‘t even occur to you as being abnormal (which it isn‘t, honestly). There‘s an old saying where I‘m from and I‘m sure most of you have heard some variation of it at some time or another in your lives: “When you‘re invited to the biggest party of the year, you dance with the girl who brung you.” It‘s clear to me that Xin‘s love for big tits and round asses got him to the dance. And while I can‘t fault the guy for branching out and trying something new, he might want to focus his energies on what he does best and leave the silly concepts to other, less-talented shooters. As it is, this was a nice exercise to show off his versatility and proves that Xin can shoot damn near anything if he wishes.
Bonus Features (all on Disc 2):
  • Behind the Scenes (16:05, ironically the BTS starts with something that probably should‘ve been done in the movie itself: most of the girls introducing themselves while holding a tape measure. As always lots of shower time with the girls, Kaiya Lynn and Penny Flame raving about how GREAT Mark Ashley is and if you pay close attention you can catch Sun Chen’s reflection in the mirror as she films Penny in the shower)
  • Trailers for Cheek Freaks, Naturally Stacked and PervAsian
  • Photo Gallery (9:21; self-advancing)
  • Bonus Scene: Courtney Simpson with Sascha & Christian (36:06)
Crucifixio Jones

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