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She Sucks
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She Sucks

Studio: Adam & Eve
Category:  Compilation , Oral
Starring: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD NewDVD RentStreaming/Download
scipio's ratings for She Sucks:
Overall Rating 2 stars
She Sucks overall rating 2 stars
Female Looks She Sucks Female looks rating 2 stars
Male Looks She Sucks Male looks rating 2 stars
Sex She Sucks Sex rating 2 stars
 
Plot/Acting She Sucks Plot/Acting rating 0 stars
Extras She Sucks DVD Extras rating 2.5 stars
Audio/Video Quality She Sucks A/V Quality rating 2 stars
Worth$5.00
Rating Scale
Reviewed by scipio  on  8/5/2006
She Sucks!

Extras:
Gallery: A collection of hard and soft stills, blown up to fill the TV screen and show off compression artefacts, and featuring auto-pan across the images. I think it went for a whole minute, too.
Bonus Scene: Reviewed at the end of the Feature.
Trailers: Wow their CGI looks dated! One long running trailer made up of: Amateur Angels #19, Camera Club, Dirty Girlz Vol 1, Fit to be Tied, Over 30 and Dirty, Tell Me What You Want #5.
Web Info: Carmen Luvana reads off a cue card about how good Adam and Eve dot com is. Great.

A quick note on scene ratings - unlike many reviewers of different things who tend to rate "average" as 7/10. I rate average as 5/10, this makes 7/10 from me quite a bit above average, so bear this in mind.

A comp, presumably of blowjobs. Ones cropped from full scenes? End-of-scene BJs with cumshots attatches? Full BJs? I have no idea. Let's find out!


Scene 1:
Tina Tyler, John West, Max Steele.
Swordfighting, Cumshot on breasts .

I remember Tina Tyler! She was pretty cool. I guess this scene's a few years old then.

Tina walks into a room where the guys are busily watching softcore porn on a giant-screen TV and strips down to her underwear. She sits between them on the couch and takes their cocks in hand, and soon is sucking away at one, then the other. The interesting thing was the fact that these two guys were sitting around naked on the couch together watching porn before Tina showed up. Next she titfucks one guy, then the other, then again. Double blowjob is next, including both cocks in her mouth at once and rubbing their heads together, finally both guys shoot their watery loads all over Tina's breasts. She gives them some post-cum head, rubs their cocks on her breasts and the scene ends.

Well, this was nothing special. Average stuff.
4/10


Scene 2:
Nina Hartley, Dale Dabone.
Cumshot on breast.

Hey I remember Nina Hartley, she was too old for my interest even back when I started watching porn. Anyway, they're in the back of a limo, Nina dressed in jeans and a black top and Dale in leather pants and a shirt. Well, except that his pants disappear and Nina's top goes up as she starts to suck on his dick, but becaise of the angle you can;t see her breasta anyway. He gets a call on his cell phone, so Nina has to pause for a second. Not much longer later, Nina finishes him off by jerking him onto her breast. The end.

Well, Nina looked ok here, except it was dark and the video was transferred-from-old-VHS-grainy. Meh.
3.5/10


Scene 3:
Caroline Pierce, Mr. Marcus.
Poor cutaways, facial.

Hey, I don't remember Caroline Pierce. Well, I do know Marcus though, so I'll settle for that. Marcus is a handsome doctor, Caroline is a hot nurse. Some poor bastard is wrapped up in bandages while the medical staff start to get jiggy. Hey! It's just like Scrubs! The addition of a white coat and non-flattering spectacles to Caroline is enough to convince us she might really be a doctor or nurse, and the relentless cutaways to some poor bastard bandaged up and in a coma is enough to remove any heat from the scene, despite the slowmo of Caroline licking the end of Marcus' knob. Later she shows off her pussy and eventually he comes in her face, but I don't care.

This scene is a good example of what's wrong with so many features. Whichever moron director who shot the feature this scene was lifted from somehow thought that cutaways to a half-dead guy was a good idea. Maybe the guy in the coma had some relationship to Marcus or Caroline, so it advanced the story. Except it's supposed to be a porno, not high art. Oops.
1/10


Scene 4:
Ava Vincent, Brandi Lyons, Ian Daniels, Dale Dabone, Evan Stone.

Well I guess this one can't be more than a few years old, since Ava is called Ava here, and not Jewel Valmont. Unless it was shot before and A&E have just updated her name for the credits. Continuing the nurse theme, one of the girls is dressed in red lingere and a nurse's hat, while the other wears a nurse's costume. I'm not totally sure which of the girls is which, but Ian Daniels seems to be the recipient of the first BJ from I think Brandi, which is the best thing I've seen so far on this disc. She eventually finishes Ian off with a handjob. Dale (I believe) is next and once again it's the Brandi doing the oral work to start, but Ava joins in partway through. Dale comes on their chests. Now it's Evan's turn and again both girls work him over orally though again Brandi does more of the work and looks better doing it. He jerks off on Brandi's chin and both girls' chests.

Well.. you know it wasn't great, but was kinda ok to watch.
4.5/10


Scene 5:
Jewel DeNyle, Marty Romano.

I think we all know Jewel.. She's a biker chick who asks Marty to take her to "their special place, one last time". They jump on the bike and ride off. Wherever the special place is, it's kinda dark and lit with a red glow. Jewel blows him for a couple of minutes and jerks him into her mouth. The End. I'm sure the scene was fun for Marty, but to watch, it was a short nothing.
3/10


Scene 6:
Carmen Luvana, Julian.

Finally our covergirl makes her appearance. Julian should also need little introduction. They're in a room with bay windows, Julian sitting naked on a carved wooden throne of a chair, while Carmen is on all fours sucking his dick. The video is saturated with way too much red. Carmen sucks cock, licks and sucks balls and generally looks hot doing so. Just as Julian comes there's some freaky flashback shit edited into the scene from whatever feature this came from, and the facial/on tits cumshot can't really be made properly
4/10


Scene 7:
Avy Scott, Randy Spears.

Again two pornstars that most who have been watching for a few years would be familiar with. They're making out naked in a gigantic shower with really overstrong red and yellow lighting. Avy looks pretty good wet. It's a short BJ with no cumshot. Could have been a good scene. perhaps.
3/10


Scene 8:
Miko Lee, John West.

John sits naked on a leather lounge chair, with Miko between his legs snorkelling on his penis. John is still muscular here but hasn't yet bulked up to the Batista levels he is today. Miko looks hot as always. He comes pretty quickly, jerking it onto her breasts.
4/10


Scene 9:
Violet Blue, Cheyne Collins, Monica Mayhem, Lacey Barnes, Chennin Blanc, Nikko Night, Brett Rockman, Steven St Croix and a Partridge in a Pear Tree.

People check into a hotel, but it's all weird and freaky and stuff, with costumes and atmosphere and masks and the like. One performer holds a painting in front of her face, only the face is cut out of the painting, so she can suck dick through it. Amazing! Anyway, penises are sucked and semen on chests eventually ensures. A bit of a clusterfuck as you really can't properly tell who does what to whom.
2/10


Scene 10:
Envi Mi, Stefany Maye, Jasmine Lynn, Dainy Marga, Max Steele.

It's a party of some kind, a hen's party it turns out. Max must be a male stripper or escort. Who knows? Or cares? I don't know any of these girls, but the first sucker is pretty damned good looking. They take turns, then three of them suck him at once. All while rubbing their clitties. Eventually someone sucks him off all over his own stomach.
3/10


Scene 11:
Lee Ann, Chris Cannon.

I think they're in a Hot Air balloon. Yes, yes they are. As such, it's bloody cramped with 2 performers, a camera guy, and obviously someone to control the thing. It's kind of cool and they seem to be having fun. Lee Ann has a bit of the giggles, and eventually Chris comes inside her mouth and she swallows. Not great as porn, but kind of cool to see.
4/10


Scene 12:
Crissy Taylor, Audrey Leigh, Vincent Vega, Rick Taylor.

"Welcome to cocksucking class" is the intro dialogue for this scene. There's more, but no one cares enough to transcribe it. Someone gives a blowjob to some guy while rubbing her clit, till the other girl arrives and joins in. Then the other guy comes in and they pair off. The dark-haired girl is very pretty, and takes a load across the face including a thick streak across her nose from one cheek to the other. The brunette takes a decent facial which isn't captured very well by camera guy.
4.5/10


Scene 13:
Rio Mariah, Trent Tesoro.

The two of them are chilling half naked in the backseat of a vehicle, maybe it's a SUV. Rio blows Trent as traffic passes them by. There's a ton of motorcycles passing by outside. Maybe they're at Sturgis or something for this shoot. OK they're on their way to Mount Rushmore, so that's one of the Dakotas. Now the front seat girl is topless and sucking cock too. I'll assume that it's Trent who left his semen in Rio's hair at the end there. Again, kind of cool to watch but not great as porn. I think it must have come from A&E's "Sex Across America" series.
4/10


Scene 14:
Monica Mayhem, Eric Masterson.

Wow this one must be old. Monica has blonde hair and is pre-implant here. Eric gives her a necklace (no, not that kind. Well not yet.) It's got magical powers, apparently. Eric's haircut is horrible dated, and the BJ isn't anything exciting either.
3/10


Bonus Scene:
Kimi Lixx, Joel Lawrence
Anal, Stomach pop.

You know, this is the first time I've ever actually seen ADT's Kimi in anything. She's wearing a yellow mini-skirt that disappears and a red bra which she keeps on but pulls down. She blows him, he eats and fingers her. Spoon and Doggy, then RAC with condom. The RAC looking quite flattering as always. Anal missionary until Joel pulls out and spooges across Kimi's pussy and stomach. Decent scene, if nothing outstanding.
5/10


OK so it's just a cheap blowjob comp, so no one was expecting anything especially fantastic, and while a few of these scenes were interesting or fun to watch, none of them really were very arousing besides scenes 4 and 12. Sure there are a lot of scenes here, but if barely any of them are any good it doesn't stand up in the same way that a "50 to one" does. As a cheap rental it might be okay for those scenes and to watch the cool bits in other scenes, but to buy, even if you're on a budget there's better oral-themed titles out there.
4/10



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