Ah, politics. No other topic raises so many opinions, emotions and discussion than politics (well, maybe a good debate on Ford vs. Chevy). This movie smacks of politics (duh) and it playfully thumbs its proverbial nose at the entire mess. Alas, poor Darkmage lives in the Washington DC area, so for me escaping politics is roughly as easy as escaping gravity: You can do it, but it takes a lot of effort. Politics infests everything we do here. Hell, the rush hour traffic depends on federal politics. However, I review porn, not politics, so I will make a giant leap for pornkind and try my best to keep my personal opinions of Slick Willie and the Capitol Hill Misfits out of this review. Wish me luck.
The Plot: Okay, how’s this for a porn plot? The President of the United States, the most powerful man in the free world, has sexual relations with one of his not-particularly-attractive interns. The public finds out about it due to the actions of a loose-lipped friend of the intern who blabs to the Justice Department. Upon learning of the illicit affair, the Special Prosecutor and cohorts gleefully have a field day with the information despite being a bunch of sex-starved freaks themselves.
Now here’s the fun question: Did I just describe a poorly scripted porn movie, or actual events? The answer of course, is “yes”.
We start our movie during a press conference, where President Clit Tongue (Herschel Savage), is almost giving a straight answer. Naturally, he is behind a desk, which means that there is someone under the desk sucking him off. Who could it be other than Moanica Dewinsky (Aja) taking some oral dictation? The press leaves, and Moanica finishes off our hero, getting some goo on her dress in the process. We cut to Monaca’s friend Tripp (Racquel Devine), who is telling all to the Attorney General Janet Rhino. They flashback to the Prez, his friend Burnin’ Jordin (Lexington Steele) and Moanica getting it on in the back of a Limo. In order to protect himself, the Prez also arranges for his Secret Service detail to get some hot young sex as well. The theory being that if they get laid, they won’t talk about him getting laid. Weird. Anyhow, Linda and Janet wrap up the interview by having hot & sweaty sex (not an image I want to live with in real life, thank you!). And what of the first lady? What are her feelings about this whole situation? Who cares? She (Greta Carlson) and Vice President Galore (Dick Nasty) are doing the domination thing in her office. The videotape of the Oral Office Orgy makes its way into the hands of the Special Prosecutor Star (Buck Adams), who proceeds to celebrate his good fortune by screwing the cleaning lady (Halli Astin). Come to think of it, I would love to celebrate the high points of my job by screwing Halli Astin.
I’ll give points to Digital Playground for including a plot, a script, and some dialogue… but this plot goes nowhere, there is no resolution, no closure and after a while the cheap shots get annoying. Hey, I’m all for humor in porn, but SHUT UP eventually! If you’ve seen Austin Powers (either one), you recall how they took a reasonably funny bit and just carried it too far? Exactly.
The Cast: Well, let’s see who is up to the task of portraying the first family and the pack of rabid dogs we call politicians. Aja and Herschel Savage play the leading roles of Moanica and the Prez, and they do so quite well. The other ladies include Racquel Devine, Greta Carlson, and Halli Astin. There are also three female interns, Amber, Phyllisha Anne and Mila. No, I don’t remember them from anything else, either. I wouldn’t mind seeing them again, though. Dick Nasty plays the Vice President, and other supporting male actors are Lexington Steele, Ian Daniels and Kyle Stone. Herschel Savage puts in a great performance as President Clit Tongue. I’m serious. He almost has the accent right and his intonation is pretty good. He looks more like John Travolta playing Bill Clinton than he does Clinton himself. Aja does a credible job in her role, but alas her chest has been overinflated like so many other porn stars. Buck Adams is just hilarious in his role as the Special Prosecutor. If I had any problems with this cast it would be Greta Carlson and Dick Nasty. Greta looks like she’s been doing this too long, and Dick Nasty is just that: nasty.
The Sex: We start our feature with President Clit Tongue getting a slow and thorough blowjob by Moanica. Aja is a superior suck master, and she does several long and slow dives down Herschel Savage’s dick and a couple deep throats for good measure. It looks wonderful and even the hideous black wig she’s wearing doesn’t detract from the scene. She gives several very good-looking shots of eye contact throughout the scene. It is also interesting to note that both of these actors stay in character for the entire scene, something that you rarely see in porn. I like this scene for what it is: a good blowjob.
Our next scene takes place in the back of a limousine with Moanica, the Prez and Vernin Jordin, played by Lexington Steele. If you aren’t familiar with Mr. Steele, he has a huge dick that he puts to good use. I don’t think she can take all of it. She proceeds to suck of the Prez while Vernin gets her to sit on his lap and other refinements. This scene is a mixture of both good and so-so. While Lexington’s dick looks great bobbing in and out of Aja’s hole, there just doesn’t seem to be much energy in any of them. They all stay in character yet again, with many comments that add a level of amusement (“Oh, that’s better than any old cigar…”). Aja moans a lot during her performance, so if you like ‘em loud this scene will do well in your book.The cumshots are pretty funny, too, as Lexington is practically screaming as he pops all over Aja.
I’m obviously in the wrong profession, because our next scene is Aja and the other three interns (Amber, Phyllisha Anne and Mila) provide the perks of the job for the Secret Service agents (Blade, Jack Hammer and Jay Ashley). So, we have four couples sucking & fucking their way around the Oval Office. Of course, I would love to tell you who is paired up with whom (other than Aja and Savage), but Digital Playground has decided that you don’t really care. Everyone starts out with a blowjob, and all four of the ladies give great looking head. Everyone has their own style, and if someone would let me sample all of their techniques for comparison purposes, I would die a happy man. The scene stealer here is the blonde intern who tucks her legs in and rides her partner with a great bouncy movement. This scene also has the first use of condoms in the film, as two of the guys are using them. Our first contestant pulls out of somebody wearing a checkerboard skirt and has to jerk off for a good long time before finally spraying her chest. Number two is the blonde with the great bouncing action, which is okay, but a bit too much spit during the cumshot. Our last two ladies actually don’t move away for the cumshot, letting it just sort of dribble out while they work. Nicely done. Overall, this was a reasonably good scene. The ladies looked like they were having fun, and we didn’t see enough of the guys to matter.
Now we travel back to the Justice Department where Tripp (Racquel Devine) and Attorney General Janet Rhino are concluding the interview. Astute readers will note that I haven’t mentioned who is playing the part of Rhino. I bring this up now as the part is played by Kyle Stone. Yep, a guy is playing the AG, complete with dress, bra, high heels, garter and stockings. This scene is hilarious, as the two actors fling out the one-liners fast and furious at the beginning. After a while, they just get into loud & nasty sex. I mean loud, too, because Raquel nearly screams at times. I love a woman who enjoys her work. If you can get over the image of watching Kyle fuck Raquel doggie style while wearing stockings and a bra and a smiling portait of Richard Nixon in the background, you’ll enjoy this scene. There is a lot of energy in this scene, from the first lick of the dick all the way to the end. This scene is quite good, if a little on the weird side.
Our next scene is between Greta Carlson and Dick Nasty. I hate this scene. It has a significant domination / submission theme to it, which is fine. I enjoy watching scenes like this. But I do not want to see these two actors in another porn film if I can help it. Dick Nasty is just too old, too chubby, and too poor of an actor for me to recommend him for a First Alert commercial, let alone a porn movie (“It’s fallen... and I can’t get it up!”). It does not help that he’s wearing a little something from Fredericks of Hollywood, stockings and women’s thong underwear. Still, as bad as he looks, it’s nothing compared to the set of fake tits on Greta. Run, do not walk away from these melons of destruction. They’re hideous. The only saving grace behind this scene is that Greta looks & sounds like she had a whopper of an orgasm during Dick’s oral ministrations, and she puts a lot of energy into her performance. If you like your women to talk dirty to you, Greta will do you proud. She plays the part of the dominatrix pretty well… but during her turn at oral excellence, she does a bit of testicle torture that killed any chance of my obtaining an erection for 12 hours. Guys, don’t watch this scene unless you like old guys getting laid by inflated women with a penchant for torturing Mr. Happy. Save yourselves, it’s too late for me.
We now rejoin our plot, already in progress. The Special Prosecutor, aptly named Star (Buck Adams) is talking dirty on the phone while his cleaning lady (Halli Astin) is dusting. The resident investigator (Ian Daniels) walks in with a videotape of the Prez and the Secret Service having their fun with the interns (see scene #3). This shamefull conduct in the Oval Office boils his blood and he stamps around the office, demanding to know how things could get to such a tearful situation... in a skirt. No, the situation isn't in a skirt, he is. The director apparently has a thing for guys in womens' clothing, as this is the third one in the film. Hey, whatever turns you on (okay, maybe not that thing with the sheep and the hedge clippers). Well, Star gets distracted by the maid bending over and dusting his desk (who wouldn't? It's a nice ass) and he then proceeds to screw her into the desk with the help of his investigator. This scene is done pretty well, actually, and Halli looks like Buck is hitting the right spots every now and then. Buck's comments are reasonably humorous (I found them funny. YMMV). The sex is pretty good, too, but nothing really special. Roll credits.
Not too much sex in this movie as I was expecting. No anal sex at all, and condoms were used sporadically. This movie really is unique in that the actors manage to stay in character during their scenes. I prefer this to the alternative of actors that turn into rutting animals in between two minutes of dialogue. It doesn't hurt that what they're saying is funny as hell.
The Audio / Image: The audio on this disc is notable in that it is 5.0 digital sound. This puts the background music into the left & right channels, with the dialogue going to your center channel. This is an unexpected benefit, as my center speaker is much better than my L & R speakers. The surrounds get no action at all. The dialogue is clear and there are no extraneous noises. The background music is exactly that: background. Not too loud, and really just sort of sets the mood for the film. Not special, but not annoying. I presume this is the intent of background music in porn. If so, they hit it spot-on.
The image is crisp and clean with no artifacts. Colors are good, if a trifle warm, but I would chalk that up to the lights employed, not the disc. Everything is lit up like you would expect in a porn flick. The major distraction is that someone couldn’t sit on the photographers long enough to complete some scenes, as you will see the flash go off every now and then as they snap pictures for some reason or another. This is annoying. If I were really bored, I’d see if the flashes matched up with the pictures in the slide show in the supplements.
The Extras: The best feature out of this DVD is the behind the scenes track, that features such porn notables as Tina Tyler, Randy Spears, Fred Lincoln, Nina Hartley, Janine, Herschel Savage, Al Goldstein and a host of other people. This is fascinating to watch, as you find that there are a wide variety of personalities that exist when they’re not on camera. My two particular favorites were the segments with Tina Tyler and Randy Spears. Tina is very good at expressing herself and obviously has strong opinions about the whole mess. Randy Spears (while not as quick or as eloquent) shows that he has a good deal of passion in his opinions and has given the matter some serious thought. I have a couple pet peeves with this segment, mainly because it misses the point in my not really humble opinion. My chief complaint is that the segment starts with the title “What really happened?” and then proceeds to ignore that question entirely. Sigh. It is interesting to see how the entire scandal appeared to people who live outside of Washington DC, as reflected in these interviews. While my opinion of several of these actors has gone up, my opinion of how politics is reported outside the beltway has dropped considerably.
Other extras include a slide show and Digital Playground’s street and WWW address. That’s it. No more. Nothing. Bleh.
The Good: Nifty interviews, some good jokes, weird images. Some good acting and sex, too.
The Bad: Mediocre looking cast, and that scene between Dick Nasty and Greta Carlson is something I could have happily missed.
Overall: This one is worth a rental just for the jokes and the visual imagery of a man in a bra & garters screwing a chick on the table near a portrait of Richard Nixon. It will make you laugh, and how many porn movies can do that?